So originally I was just going to write a simple little blog post about a simple little note Clay wrote on his fansite’s message board about the support he’s received since publicly coming out.

“We’ll ‘talk’ more later,” Aiken, 29, writes on his Web site’s message board. “but, suffice it to say, for the first time in recent memory, I am speechless. I’m so proud to know and love all of you.”

He adds, “My family is so much larger than Parker, Jaymes, mom, Brett, etc. It extends to each of you. And I couldn’t be more blessed.”

Which is very sweet and I couldn’t be more thrilled for Clay that this coming-out process seems to be going relatively smoothly for him.

But then I started poking around his website, and found this page where you can join the Clay Aiken Official Fan Club for the low low price of $29.99 plus shipping and handling. Here’s what you get:

* 1-Year Fan Club Membership
* Exclusive Clay Aiken Official Fan Club Tote Bag
* Clay Aiken OFC Lip Balm
* 4-pack of Clay Aiken OFC button

Read that again. Make sure you see the part about the LIP BALM.

Yes, that’s right, the Clay Aiken Fan Club membership comes with a tote, a button and fucking lip balm with his face on it. Nobody — nobody — belonging to that fan club gets to act surprised that this dude is gay.

“please tell me I’m not the only one who is shocked beyond belief! I feel numb I’m so upset. This can’t be real!! How can you guys say this won’t change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don’t even know what to think right now.”

From the ClayMates discussion board.

To be fair, the overwhelming majority of posts on there are very supportive of Clay, which is good to see. Some people even talk about how they struggled with the news at first and then decided to accept it and still love him, which is even better to see.

Most importantly, I’d like you guys to spend some time on that board and notice how their moderator edits EVERY FUCKING COMMENT. Talk about freakishly controlling. I’m vicariously annoyed for them. So the next time you want to yell at me about moderating comments, please keep in mind that I have never gone into your comment, deleted the first half, and left a cheery little note about why. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that I never, ever have, because doing so is insane.

Jaymes Foster, the 50-something longtime friend and producer of Clay Aiken, has given birth to a baby who was conceived via artificial insemination using Clay’s little swimmers.

The baby, son Parker Foster Aiken, was born early this morning in North Carolina. Clay was on-hand for the event, as the odd couple (who are platonic friends, obvs) plan to raise the kiddo together.

Mother and baby — who is reportedly dark-haired, not a red-head — are doing well.

Oh, and also?

Clay Aiken is gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But he is.

I’m just saying. Mostly to attract all the page views I’m now going to get from ClayMates commenting about how I should never utter such words. I’m a savvy businesswoman, you know.

Congrats, kids!

Yup, that’s right, he’s releasing his second album of original material, On My Way Here, on May 6.

So that means he’ll be running around doing publicity for it, and sticking his hand in Kelly Ripa’s face, etc, and everyone’s gonna be all like, “So are you gay, dude?” and he’s gonna be all like “How about those Knicks?” and it’s all going to be very exciting and important and newsworthy, especially when Rosie O’Donnell inevitably weighs in.

Also: it’s been five years since Clay Aiken was on American Idol.

That’s really scary. Where does the time go?

“Sonically, I don’t know that we’re going down any path that’s crazy. I’m not trying to be cool, I’m not trying to be hip. I’m not trying to do anything other than sing stuff that I’m good at.”

Clay Aiken, whose new album is expected to be released in May.

And, like, I know what “sonically” means, but when I saw that word I just couldn’t shake the thought of Clay Aiken coming out to my car to take my order for a cherry slush and a Coney dog. I can’t stop laughing at that.

Dude.

You’re doing Broadway.

You said the following:

“I really couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful group of people to work with. Let’s not lie, the chance to work with legendary creative minds like Mike Nichols and Eric Idle is, on its own, a reason to jump at this opportunity.”

Seriously, buddy? Why didn’t you just say:

“I really couldn’t be any gayer. Let’s not lie, I know who Mike Nichols and Eric Idle are, and that makes me so unbelievably gay. Like, they may as well call it Spankalot. Or, like, Analpenetrationalot. I’m that gay.”

Clay kicks off his Broadway run on January 18, playing one of the play’s leads, Sir Robin.