Ooooooh CATFIGHT YOU GUYS!!!!

After former Idol runner-up Clay Aiken made headlines by referring to Adam Lambert’s singing as “contrived,” “awful” and “slightly frightening,” Adam has a little something to say himself.

“I don’t know Clay,” he says in a new interview with E!. “I’m glad he’s getting headlines now though, because he wasn’t before. If he wants to ride my coattails about it, good for him.”

OH SLAM!

Aiken’s 2008 album, On My Way Here, sold 94,000 copies in its first week. In comparison, his 2003 album, Measure of a Man, sold 613,000 copies in its first week. Looks like he could use some publicity.

And I couldn’t agree with him more.

After criticizing Adam Lambert’s vocal stylings earlier this week as “Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening”, Aiken once more took to the member’s only section of his blog, this time to defend his claims that listening to Lambert might “make his ears bleed.” He kind of, sort of, didn’t really  apologize, opting for the “don’t really listen to anything I say” defense.

“My opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the blogger’s seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say,” complains the performer.

“The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he’s smart he couldn’t give a crap what I think.” Aiken continued, “I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn’t give a damn!”

Aiken is definitely right about one thing: no one should give a damn what he thinks. But someone must, because somebody out there is paying $30 a month to be a “member” of his site and read this drivel. I don’t understand most of humanity.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s doing this just to get some publicity. After all, it’s the first time in months that anyone has given a crap about anything Clay Aiken has had to say. And according to him, we shouldn’t have even given that crap.

Let me put on my Cosby voice for a minute: You see kids, you can’t just go burnin’ bridges and then expect to be able to walk back across ‘em later on. Pudding pops.

The Enquirer is reporting that when Clay Aiken visited the set of American Idol recently–without being invited or letting anyone know he was coming– he was given limited access, confined to break rooms and a few backstage areas, and then shuffled quickly and quietly out the door.

The purpose for his visit was supposedly because he wanted to have a talk with the contestants– Adam Lambert in particular, who is said to be his favorite– and offer them advice and mentoring from someone who has been there before… the key words in that phrase being  “has been.”

Producers and reps from “American Idol” have had a long-simmering feud with Clay because he was one of the first contestant to bolt from 19 Entertainment, the management company that oversees the recording deals, merchandising, touring, sponsorship, and movie deals for “Idol” stars.

Network execs believe that Clay encouraged Kelly Clarkson to cut her ties with the show as well.

“They’ve always held a grudge against Clay for that,” revealed the insider. “So when he showed up at the ‘Idol’ studios and asked if he could give a little pep talk to the remaining finalists, they told Clay thanks… but no thanks.

“It was made clear to him that he was not welcome.”

People are speculating that visit may not have been motivated purely out of concern for the wellbeing of the remaining contestants, but might actually have been *gasp!* a self-serving and desperate attempt at reviving his own career. The 30 year old was dropped from his record label, RCA, late last year, and like a college kid hauling his empty stomach and his dirty laundry home to mom & dad on the weekend, has no place to go except back to Idol.

See, this is the problem with handing a young person who’s never had money before a potentially lucrative career — they have no understanding of the fact that the money isn’t guaranteed to keep coming. Fremantle ought to make these kids sign an agreement saying that a portion of their earnings every year goes to paying for a financial adviser, because they don’t really seem to be champs at managing their own cash flow.

Just like Fantasia before him, Ruben Studdard is in a ton of debt, because he hasn’t been paying his taxes.

In fact, Ruben owes $254,119 in state and federal taxes, including a $60,469 lien filed by the IRS on February 4 of this year for 2007 taxes.

Why didn’t you pay your taxes like the rest of us do, Ruben???

Meanwhile, Clay Aiken’s been dropped by his record label, RCA. Clay’s 2008 album, On My Way Here, sold 159,000 copies in the United States. His 2003 debut, Measure of a Man, sold 2.78 million. BIG DROP.

I hope he’s at least been paying his taxes!!!

Clay Aiken receives his caricature at Sardi’s in NYC.

“I am not defined by my sexuality. It is, simply, a small facet of the same person I have always been. Nothing has changed.”

Clay Aiken, on his personal website, regarding his recent homo debut.

Heh.

Initially, the big celebrity news this week was Clay Aiken’s coming out story, published exclusively in People magazine.

While Aiken’s announcement was interesting in and of itself, more compelling is the backstory behind the People deal. Apparently, the economy isn’t just having an impact on Wall Street — it’s affecting the celebrity magazine world, too.

Exclusive photos of Clay and his son, Parker, went for an underwhelming amount compared to the multimillion-dollar price tag that accompanies a Jennifer Lopez or Jolie-Pitt agreement. Aiken’s deal cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $500,000 according to several sources privy to the negotiations (a rep for People said “We don’t comment on the specifics of any deals”).

The low dollar amount wasn’t necessarily due to waning interest in Aiken — one editor admitted that his magazine had been trying to get the singer to do a tell-all for a substantial sum long before the baby was in the picture. Instead, People had little competition for the photos, and in turn, no one to drive the price up.

Dude, I should have held out. I pose with my baby (Leo) and tell ya’ll about my Taylor Momsen fantasies for free on here all the time. Hey People! I’ll settle for $100K to do your cover.

So originally I was just going to write a simple little blog post about a simple little note Clay wrote on his fansite’s message board about the support he’s received since publicly coming out.

“We’ll ‘talk’ more later,” Aiken, 29, writes on his Web site’s message board. “but, suffice it to say, for the first time in recent memory, I am speechless. I’m so proud to know and love all of you.”

He adds, “My family is so much larger than Parker, Jaymes, mom, Brett, etc. It extends to each of you. And I couldn’t be more blessed.”

Which is very sweet and I couldn’t be more thrilled for Clay that this coming-out process seems to be going relatively smoothly for him.

But then I started poking around his website, and found this page where you can join the Clay Aiken Official Fan Club for the low low price of $29.99 plus shipping and handling. Here’s what you get:

* 1-Year Fan Club Membership
* Exclusive Clay Aiken Official Fan Club Tote Bag
* Clay Aiken OFC Lip Balm
* 4-pack of Clay Aiken OFC button

Read that again. Make sure you see the part about the LIP BALM.

Yes, that’s right, the Clay Aiken Fan Club membership comes with a tote, a button and fucking lip balm with his face on it. Nobody — nobody — belonging to that fan club gets to act surprised that this dude is gay.

“please tell me I’m not the only one who is shocked beyond belief! I feel numb I’m so upset. This can’t be real!! How can you guys say this won’t change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don’t even know what to think right now.”

From the ClayMates discussion board.

To be fair, the overwhelming majority of posts on there are very supportive of Clay, which is good to see. Some people even talk about how they struggled with the news at first and then decided to accept it and still love him, which is even better to see.

Most importantly, I’d like you guys to spend some time on that board and notice how their moderator edits EVERY FUCKING COMMENT. Talk about freakishly controlling. I’m vicariously annoyed for them. So the next time you want to yell at me about moderating comments, please keep in mind that I have never gone into your comment, deleted the first half, and left a cheery little note about why. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that I never, ever have, because doing so is insane.

Jaymes Foster, the 50-something longtime friend and producer of Clay Aiken, has given birth to a baby who was conceived via artificial insemination using Clay’s little swimmers.

The baby, son Parker Foster Aiken, was born early this morning in North Carolina. Clay was on-hand for the event, as the odd couple (who are platonic friends, obvs) plan to raise the kiddo together.

Mother and baby — who is reportedly dark-haired, not a red-head — are doing well.

Oh, and also?

Clay Aiken is gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But he is.

I’m just saying. Mostly to attract all the page views I’m now going to get from ClayMates commenting about how I should never utter such words. I’m a savvy businesswoman, you know.

Congrats, kids!

Yup, that’s right, he’s releasing his second album of original material, On My Way Here, on May 6.

So that means he’ll be running around doing publicity for it, and sticking his hand in Kelly Ripa’s face, etc, and everyone’s gonna be all like, “So are you gay, dude?” and he’s gonna be all like “How about those Knicks?” and it’s all going to be very exciting and important and newsworthy, especially when Rosie O’Donnell inevitably weighs in.

Also: it’s been five years since Clay Aiken was on American Idol.

That’s really scary. Where does the time go?

“Sonically, I don’t know that we’re going down any path that’s crazy. I’m not trying to be cool, I’m not trying to be hip. I’m not trying to do anything other than sing stuff that I’m good at.”

Clay Aiken, whose new album is expected to be released in May.

And, like, I know what “sonically” means, but when I saw that word I just couldn’t shake the thought of Clay Aiken coming out to my car to take my order for a cherry slush and a Coney dog. I can’t stop laughing at that.