This is essentially breaking news, because I don’t know that it’s ever happened before.

The dress is quite nice, and her makeup is relatively subdued, and she looks — dare I say it? — pretty. What could have inspired her to look like a normal human being for once?

My one complaint: Why is she wearing that lunch lady hair net??? Ew. Was that really the only way to get all her hair extensions away from her dumb-ass neck tat? Seriously, who tattoos their own damn name on their neck? That’s some Paris Hilton self-absorption right there. I mean, really, is it your way of being absolutely sure that your husband calls out the right name when he’s doing you from behind? Because I’m not sure he’s actually tall enough to see it anyway.

Here’s more pics of XXXtina at the Grammy nominations concert.

America’s sweetheart turns 16 years old today.  Doesn’t it seem like she’s been turning 16 forever?  Like closing Disney so 7,000 people could celebrate her big day wasn’t enough.  They better not roll out a cake for her tonight when she performs at the American Music Awards.

Here is Miley arriving at the AMAs looking totally age appropriate. 

I’m sure Beet will have plenty of coverage on the AMAs tomorrow but here are a few of my random thoughts on the first arrivals:

Christina Aguilera, seriously, what has happened to you?  It’s like your face totally changed when you got pregnant and it never returned to its original state.  I realize part of it is just a normal maturing but something looks…off. 

As off as seeing Pink as she appears tonight.  She gets a lot of criticism so I give her credit for wearing such a feminine.  I think she’s damned if she does or doesn’t; I just never imagined I’d feel so uncomfortable actually witnessing her in an evening gown and nose ring.

I had to look up who the hell Shailene Woodley was.  I guess she stars on some show called The Secret Life of an American Teenager.  You’ll know her better as the chick wearing flower pots on her feet.

Toccara has been looking good.  And by good I mean like a drag queen.

I’m unnaturally distracted by Dancing With The Starsjudge Carrie Ann Inaba.  Is she missing a set of eyelashes on one eye? 

And finally, Ashley Tisdale.  You’re cute, you’re wealthy.  You haven’t been romantically linked to any Jonas brother.  Cheer up…life is good! 

“Last night, there was a whole rally that I saw for Prop. 8. A lot of people came out with their signs, and I think [Prop. 8] is discrimination and I don’t understand how people can be so closed-minded and so judgmental. We chose an African-American president, and it means so much … [it's] a time in history of great change and open-mindedness. Why is this any different? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Why you would put so much money behind something [aimed at] stopping from people loving each other and bonding together? I just don’t understand it. It’s hard for me to grasp. But I would’ve been out there with my rally sign as well … Mormons aren’t gonna buy my album but, you know, what are you gonna do?”

Christina Aguilera, discussing the second straight night of protests about California passing Prop 8. The “Yes on Prop 8″ campaign was largely financed by the Mormon Church.

At the DSquared party last night.

Also there: Christina Aguilera and Nikki Richie.

What do we think?

I like how it’s all very make-believe, especially the part about how Christina Aguilera knows how to work an editing booth.

Prince William was spotted getting friendly with BOTH Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera at a London nightclub last night.

Apparently Xtina and Paris avoided each other like the plague but both tried to get face time with Wills, especially Paris, who reportedly pissed off Christina by parading up to her table and stealing Wills away. So very Bachelor.

All this drama DESPITE the fact that Christina was there with her husband and Paris can’t shut up about how much she misses Benji.

Whatever. I’m just glad that they’re both Britain’s problem right now.

Please, baby.

Dress normal.

Just once.

I’m begging you.

At the Africa Rising Music & Fashion Festival in London.