Last night, George Clooney cobbled together a phone bank whose average adjusted gross income was higher than Haiti’s combined gross national product in all of the 90’s. The celebrity-manned phone lines and musical performances by Madonna, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift, Chris Martin, Bono, Jay-Z, Rihanna and more,  pulled in over $16 Million dollars.

Did any of you dial-a-celeb and phone in a donation? If you missed your chance, you can still contribute by preordering  any of the songs performed last night  on iTunes.

I applaud the stars’ desire to contribute to a good cause, but groaned when Beyonce inserted “Haiti” into her song “Halo.” I can’t stand it when artists insert words from current events willy-nilly into already established hit songs for the purposes of “tribute”. Bastardizing one of your already established hit singles just seems like such a lazy way out. I cringed when Elton John did it with “Candle in the Wind”, and Beyonce sure as shit ain’t no Elton John.

More telethon clips featuring Robert Pattinson and his facial hair, Madonna, JT, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift, and Xtina after the jump.

Editor’s Note: As of this morning, the news services have upgraded the amount of money raised by the telethon to an estimated $57 Million!!

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Christina Aguilera looked stunning rocking that wig/glasses/scarf combo while shooting a scene for her upcoming movie, Burlesque. Of course Christina Aguilera is in a movie called burlesque (so are Kristen Bell and Julianne Hough.) I don’t even think of the Pussycat Dolls when I hear that word, I think of X-Tina, who took her fascination with the artform to an all time high a couple years ago when practically everything she wore looked like it belonged on the stage of some Hollywood speakeasy back in the day. The description of the film from IMDB is as follows: “A small-town girl ventures to Los Angeles and finds her place in a neo-burlesque club run by a former dancer.” Hmmm. I like the idea of a burlesque film and if she’s singing it in, I am for sure watching, but the plot summary kinda makes this sound like Glitter II.

The photo agency swears this is Christina Aguilera hosting at Tao on New Year’s Eve, but if it weren’t for the pics of her sitting next to Jordan Bratman, I’d send them an email to let them know it’s actually Paris Hilton.

KILLER shoes, though.

Christina Aguilera looked quite pissed while getting her holiday shopping done with husband Jordan Bratman. While she was most likely disturbed by the men trying to take her photos while she picked up last minute gifts, I think her face kind of shows what we’re all feeling as we run out to grab our last haul of presents. Personally, I beat this feeling by making mix CDs for my family and crying poor to my friends, but I suppose that if you’re Christina Aguilera, you’re expected to show up with gifts. Poor baby.

They take their kiddos shopping for Christmas trees! (But they call the paparazzi first.) Despite nagging rumors of trouble in their marriage, Christina Aguilera and hubby Jordan Bratman took their son Max to pick out a Christmas tree in Beverly Hills, but not without first making sure that the entire rigamarole would be photographed. Ah, well. At least the kid looks adorable (ahhh-doooooh-raaah-blech) and his outfit is way pimp.

Considering that a lot of non-famous people probably dressed up like them last night, it’s interesting to see what celebs chose to be for Halloween. I love that Gwen Stefani wasn’t afraid to don a head to toe Jessie (from Toy Story 2) costume to take her kids out trick-or-treating. Gavin gets negative points for taking himself too seriously and not wearing a costume.

Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis and his son both dressed as Eddie Munster while Christina Aguilera and son Max went out as a pair of skeletons. James Gandolfini and designer Christian Siriano both looked unintentionally creepy– one because he was wearing a Homer Simpson mask with the eyes cut out, the other because… well… you’ll see.

It seemed like Family Weekend here in LA with celebrities ditching the nannies for a couple of days and actually like, hanging out with their kids. Even over in Cambridge, MA, Tom and Suri were playing in a lake together (which looks so photo-oppy, sadly.) The pumpkin patch seemed like the place to be with appearances by Heidi Klum and Hendy, Larry Birkhead and mini Anna Nicole and Christina Aguilera and Max. Also notable is Nicole Richie and a scrumptious looking Harlow (I wanted to eat the buns off her head) and Brian Austin Green taking his son Kassius bowling. As if having Brian Austin Green for a dad wasn’t hard enough, the poor kid has to be named something more suitable for a gay porn star, too.