“It’s like expecting a reward for running out of a burning building.”

Former drug addict Christian Slater discussing whether or not he deserves accolades for achieving several years of sobriety.

Christian recently got a GED in order to actively prioritize education for his children. He’s currently dating Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon, pictured above.

Ahhhh ha ha ha.

You guys don’t care about Christian Slater, I know.

But he’s moving in with his girlfriend, who happens to be the head of Jimmy Choo, Tamara Mellon. I want the head of Jimmy Choo to move in with me. I’d totally go all Single White Female on her. And by that I just mean I’d steal all of her shoes.

Okay. Go back to filling out expense reports. It’s more interesting than this post.

Tara Reid can still get modeling jobs. [Rappy's]

Josh and Scarlett have come to terms with the fact that they are the sexiest people under 30 on the face of this planet, and they simply have no choice but to date each other. [The Blemish]

Joan Rivers, now officially senile, thinks this country considers Jessica Simpson an intellectual. [Agent Bedhead]

Yes, of course Halle Berry’s releasing an album. What did you expect her to do at this stage of her career? Act? [Pop on the Pop]

Evangeline Lilly’s Hawaii home burns down. This is where I write a joke that demonstrates some background knowledge of Evangeline Lilly or that show she’s on. I have no such knowledge. [Bricks and Stones]

Check out the first track from Whitney Houston’s comeback album. [Bossip]