Twenty years ago this week, Paula Abdul scored her second No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart with “Forever Your Girl.” This week, she’s back on the charts, with her new single “Here for the Music” coming in at the #87 spot following her appearance on Idol last week. Not an especially embarrassing ranking for a 46-year-old doing dance tracks, but I’d wager money that it’ll be off the charts entirely by next week.

Meanwhile, Chris Daughtry’s “No Suprise,” which debuted on Idol the same day as Paula’s single, is on the charts at #15. That one, I think, will continue upward.

The student has become the teacher, yo.

The biggest non-celebrities always have the longest list of criteria and most involved riders; their list of must-haves when performing.  Meryl Streep’s on set needs document probably reads “If you can get some bagels that would be great but don’t make a special trip.”

Anyway, Bjork’s rider states that she wants a homely backstage area.  That should be accomplished easily enough; wall-to-wall mirrors in her dressing room oughta do it.  In addition, she has such requests as halfa bottle of Remy Martin and a coat rack with ample hangers.  I wonder what would happen if they provided a whole bottle of Remy Martin?  Would she go all Johnny Depp hotel room on someone?  I can so see that nut bag screaming “What the fuck!?  I said 375mls!”  Speaking of screaming, her rider also lists a requirement of a bottle of honey.  Might try a vat Bjork…though I’m not sure any amount can soothe that cat caught in the wheel of a sedan screech of yours.

Another rider that just left me stunned was Vanessa Hudgen’s.  “All cups, glasses, plates, silverware, napkins should be of quality material.”  Who the fuck does she think she is?  Vanessa, for as long as you are responsible for Sneakernight, which is forevermore, you have no right to be calling the shots on tableware.  You should thank the lucky stars above if you get Chinet.

Now, I do love Taylor Swift.  But I read the condescending line “Edememe  (it’s soy beans…in frozen vegetable section)” and it makes me feel like she, or more likely her manager, needs to double up on the requested cases of, um, “Smart Water.”   If you want to request the fancy stuff, learn how to spell it.

Daughtry’s rider just made me sad.  Chris, I implore you, please aspire for more in life than Honey Smacks, strawberries with a peel and an existence without spellcheck.  Life doesn’t have to be so bleak.

Now here’s a real shocker: despite all the fame and fortune, Chris Daughtry is still with his pre-American Idol wife, Deanna Robertson. The two were photographed last night while waiting for the valet on Sunset.

Aw … what a good guy!

Congrats to Chris Daughtry, whose band’s album, Daughtry, sold 3.2 million copies, making it the most popular album of the year.

Winning American Idol is for losers!