This debuted on L.A. radio Friday morning.

I’d like to write something about it, but I’m too busy deciding whether to laugh or vomit. So I’ll just let the song’s lyrics speak for themselves.

“The world is Michael Jackson.
I’m Michael Jackson.
You’re Michael Jackson.
We all Michael Jackson.”

< Insert vocal track of Chris Brown singing about some angels crying >

And I’m not sure, but at about 1:08 I think The Game is confessing that both he and Usher were molested.

As part of his sentencing, Chris Brown was ordered not to come within 50 yards of Rihanna. But both Rihanna and Brown reportedly want to nix that part of the punishment.

“They think it’s unnecessary and ridiculous,” told a common friend of the protection order that was given at this week’s criminal proceeding….“After [the proceeding], Ri and Chris talked on the phone for almost an hour and really worked at becoming friends. They’re solid now.”

But the two are unable to speak in public to one another… The order of protection gives Brown flexibility at music-industry events, instructing that he cannot come within 10 yards of the Umbrella singer.

Let’s not forget that the petulant pugilist (a.k.a. Chris Brown, a.k.a. fart-head) has a song coming out on his new album entitled “Not My Fault” that is supposedly about a female “singer” who gets “caught up” in a relationship with Brown that goes awry and ends up in the papers– “caught up” being the new, hip street slang for “I have a tiny penis and an anger problem and brutally assaulted my girlfriend.”

The album also reportedly features a duet with hypocritical sack of lies Mary J. Blige, who has suffered domestic abuse in the past.

This whole carnival of stupidity drives me up the wall. You’ve got a music industry whose acceptance of Brown borders on condoning domestic violence,  music stars who continue to work with and defend him, and  a victim who won’t stand up for herself.

Surely, you remember when I was so convinced that Chris Brown was going to get a plea bargain out of this whole Rihanna assault case?  I was confident enough that I said I’d write a 200-word essay on positive things about Mischa Barton if it didn’t happen.  Well, the deal never materialized and I wrote the gut-wrenching piece.  Now, just today, Chris Brown pled the case out.  So, I was right all along that Brown would never pay any real consequences for bashing his girlfriend in the face.  Brown will be on five years of probation and 180 days in a labor diversion program.

What do I get?  I can’t take back the Mischa piece.  Shouldn’t there be some sort of compensation for all the unnecessary pain and suffering I went through?  Perhaps an Everything Bradley Cooper photo gallery.  Hmmm…I deserve something.

There’s been a rumor floating around for a while — ironically, started shortly after the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna abuse deal — that there is a Rihanna sex tape that would eventually hit the Internet.

A very short trailer is on YouTube with a promise of more footage to be released on June 22nd.  June 22nd happens to be the same day that Rihanna will be appearing in court, prepared to testify against her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, also known as the guy that I’m sure isn’t involved in any way in the release of this tape.  Oh, the irony. 

The short clip is after the jump.  I have no idea if it’s SFW.  The music is bad, the lighting is green and the purported singer has text over her face.  You be the judge.

(more…)

Chris Brown showed up last night at the NBA finals with a Rihanna look-alike, Teyana Taylor.  I don’t know if this is some part of his sick sense of humor, or what.  Some people will say it’s just coincidence even though her glasses really add to Taylor’s similarity to Rihanna.  (Teyna, a disciple of Pharrell, has been Tweeting  about how sick she is of being mistaken for Rihanna, natch.) 

A picture in the gallery of Rihanna with Taylor from last year.

Teyana,

Oh, man, this couldn’t have been comfortable.  At Game 4 of the NBA finals in Orlando, both Rihanna and (alleged!) bully abuser Chris Brown (the pic I have posted of him is actually from Tuesday’s Game 3, but he was in Orlando at the game last night as well) attended and were seated at opposite ends of the same row.  You just know she was thinking, “Thank God I did my hair,” because I don’t care what anyone says; when you bump into your ex, you have to be looking your best.

Think they’ll meet up again before their official meet up on June 22nd in a court of law?

This past Wednesday, Wendie wrote about a video Chris Brown posted to Youtube in which he and Lil Bow Wow defended Brown’s reputation in a language so badly mangled that it could only be identified via its dental records as English.

Later that same day, Eve took to her twitter account and told Chris Brown exactly what she’d do to him if he came at her the way he came at Rihanna:

After Kanye told us all we should “give him a break” and Diddy invited him over to stay at one of his mansions while Brown was hiding from the paps, I’m so glad that a big hip-hop star like Eve has had the guts to speak truthfully about this ugly, disgusting incident.
Eve is fed up with the way Brown’s actions are being overlooked and accepted, writing that she’s “so sick of the media trying to sugar coat a serious issue.”