There is no better way to start a Friday than with a fierce dose of Bai Ling.  As she joins the ranks of Jessica Biel and Lindsay Lohan as a member of the “Remind Me Again Why You’re Famous” club, let’s enjoy the rest of the marginally famous people who attended last night’s 37th Annual AFI Lifetime Achievement Awards.

A couple observations I’d like to share:  1)  The years and white zinfandel have not been kind to Kathleen Turner.  2)  The years and pills have not been kind to Melanie Griffith. 3)  I think it’s really nice that Christopher Lloyd brought his granddaughter to this event.  Except that’s his date.  4)  I think Matthew McConaughey got some free samples of Sevin Nyne and used them.  All at once.  5)  Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot.  Period.  6)  My life goal remains unfulfilled — just once, I want to see Eric McCormack look genuinely happy and not look like he’s doing me a big flipping favor by appearing on the red carpet.  And still, I wait.

And this, my friends, is why I could never handle fame.  It’s just too much pressure.  You can’t even be an actor anymore.  You have to act, dance, sing, write, do Kabbalah, hit the campaign trail and bear multiple fetuses.  And you have to do it all while being sparkly.  Skin texture is so passe.  It’s all about looking like a fender.  I’m sorry, but Catherine Zeta Jones, a beautiful, beautiful woman, is the perfect example of going drag queen ballistic with the highlighter brush and tarantulashes.

Kristin Chenoweth took the night off from her jewelry box spinning ballerina gig to also attend the 4th Annual A Fine Romance To Benefit The Motion Picture & Television Fund event.

Their makeup looks like TOTAL HELL sometimes.

The usually drop-dead gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones is looking, well, human at the UNA’s 2008 Global Leadership Awards Gala.

In fairness, though, when I look like hell in photos, I’m usually not sitting next to Ted Turner at the Waldorf-Astoria. More frequently, I’m sitting next to a homeless dude at a dive bar. So Catherine’s still got a leg up on me, I guess.

“I’ve learned to kick back and be a family man. Since I married Catherine, we’ve been raising a new family. I’m enjoying it immensely. And my priorities have changed enormously. I’m slowing down, but I’m not ready to call it quits yet.”

Michael Douglas, who accepted a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Savannah Film Festival this weekend.

Victoria Beckham has been offered the hosting gig on Simon Fuller’s new fashion-centric reality show. She may turn it down, since the show films in the U.S., and she knows that if she leaves hubby David’s side for more than a minute, some hottie’s going to steal him away. Like Paris Hilton. Or Tom Cruise. [Hollyscoop]

Rod Stewart thought Paris Hilton was a hot piece of ass. When she was fourteen. [Yeeah!]

Whitney officially kicks the Bobby habit. [People]

It’s not so much that Christina Aguilera’s hubby is smoking a joint, it’s that he’s wearing a bike helmet at the same time. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Catherine Zeta-Jones acts pissed that husband Michael Douglas said Eva Longoria has a great ass, as a part of their joint effort to convince the world he’s managed an erection at any point this decade. [ICYDK]

Matt Damon reaches out to African children without managing to adopt one. [PopSugar]