“As a pastor and a former Miss California, I am often asked to interpret what the Word of God has to say on a particular subject,” Rev. Lamarche says. “I am quite confident that God prefers that we human beings stick to speaking for ourselves. And yet there are occasions when God’s Word is used as a weapon, and I feel compelled to speak.

In the past few days, much has been made of the words of Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean. She stated that marriage is between a man and a woman. I write not in response to her opinion, but rather about her comments that followed: that the Bible condones her words. She said, “It’s not about being politically correct, it’s about being biblically correct.” While this sentiment is shared by many who seek to condemn gay people and gay marriage, citing pieces of the Bible to further one’s own prejudice fails to meet the Bible on its own terms.

Most people seeking to condemn gay people point to the Book of Leviticus, where we read that men lying with men is an abomination. However, we rarely hear of other verses found in the book of Leviticus that are equally challenging. For example, Leviticus also tells us that eating shrimp and lobster is an abomination. And that a person should not wear material woven of two kinds of material—an impossible mandate for a pageant contestant!

In Paul’s letter to the community in Corinth we read, ‘For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church….’ And yet these words have not prevented Christian denominations from ordaining women, such as myself. Sadly, the Bible has been used to further prejudice throughout history. We have used it to permit ourselves to enslave people; to conquer and kill; and to denigrate the earth.

The truth is that it is difficult to know for sure the intentions of the biblical authors, but we do know something about God. Those of us who know God through Jesus of Nazareth know that he went to great lengths to express God’s love to people who were labeled as outcasts. He spent time with children, prostitutes, and lepers, all of whom were labeled as outside of the grasp of the Holy. As we continue to seek God’s vision for us as a nation grounded in a love for justice, I pray that we might move closer to the cause of grace.”

The 2003 Miss California, Nicole Lamarche, on the reigning Miss California’s views on same-sex marriage.

Oh, happy day! After Miss California was all like, “Well I miiiight be dating Michael Phelps, but I’m not telling because I’m a douchebag,” Phelpsy himself stepped in to deny the rumors. BAM! BITCH GOES DOWN!

“I’m not dating anybody,” he said Wednesday at the opening of the Omega flagship boutique in NYC. “I’m single. My private life stays private.”

And as for her answer to the gay marriage question?

“That’s the cool thing about America – everybody has their opinion,” he said. “I’m not saying I support her. I’m not saying I don’t support her.” Oh, come on, Phelpsy! You should openly support gay marriage! If someone wants to be legally wed to a size 14 penis, they should be granted that right, regardless of whether they’re man or woman.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump — who owns the Miss Universe organization — is finally weighing in on the controversy. “Miss California has done a wonderful job, that was her belief,” he said. “It wasn’t a bad answer, that was simply her belief.” Trump added that Prejean’s question was “a bit unlucky,” arguing that no matter how she answered the question “she was going to get killed.” Agreed.

Wait, who won the Miss USA pageant on Sunday night? Oh, right, nobody cares. It was Miss North Carolina, but any attention she may have had as a result of winning has been eclipsed by this Miss California scandal. (BTW, “Miss California” is a great song by Jack’s Mannequin, but that’s the only context in which I support it these days.)

Carrie “Haterade” Prejean was on the Today Show today, digging her hole even deeper. She admits that her answer cost her the crown (as well it should!) but she stands by her hateful answer, and claims that she had “spoken from my heart, for my beliefs and for my God.” She adds that “it’s not about being politically correct; for me, it’s about being biblically correct.”

Miz Prejean, you and I have very different Gods. I hope that one day you can find a faith in something a little less spiteful.

“As co-executive director of Miss CA USA and one of the leaders of the Miss CA family, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss CA USA 2009 believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman. Although I believe all religions should be able to ordain what unions they see fit, I do not believe our government should be able to discriminate against anyone. Religious beliefs have no place in politics in the Miss CA family.”

Keith Lewis, the Executive Director of Miss California USA/Teen USA, in a statement regarding this.

In fairness, if we really wanted to keep religious beliefs out of this, Perez Hilton never should have been able to ask that question. It was a loaded gun. Keith works for Miss California USA, not at the national level, so it’s not like he could have had a say in this anyway. But you know that the Miss USA organization approved Perez’s question beforehand. They were asking for a powder keg like this to explode.

Listen, it’s no secret around here that I’m pro-gay-marriage (which I like to call being pro-equal-rights). So of course I firmly disagreed with Miss California’s decision to speak out against gay marriage in the Miss USA competition last night. I vehemently disagree with Carrie Prejean, but it took balls for her to stay true to her beliefs in a room that you better believe was jam-packed with gay men. I suppose there is a teeeeensy tiny bit of credit due there. She tells Access Hollywood today: “I stated an opinion that was true to myself and that’s all I can do. It is a very touchy subject and he [Perez] is a homosexual and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would’ve wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.” Personally, I think that every now and then it’s okay to compromise your beliefs when they imply that an entire class of citizens should be treated as lesser because of who they choose to love. But that’s just me.

You know what’s even less of a secret than my support for gay marriage? MY LOVE FOR MICHAEL PHELPS. And this is where Carrie Prejean and I are really going to have a problem. She’s dating him. THAT HATEFUL BITCH. Access Hollywood bugged her to talk about him, but she demured. “He is a great man,” she says, adding, “We can talk about that a different day.”

Hey, Carrie Prejean, I’m gonna go ahead and introduce some legislation that bans beauty queens from marrying anyone I have a crush on. I just think it’s so wrong. It disgusts me. That’s just what I was raised to believe, so look for it on your 2010 ballot.