Heh.

You gotta love this.

Cameron Diaz is chatting on her cell phone while her boyfriend, model (and Aniston ex) Paul Sculfor is texting on his.

I like this photo because it pretty much typifies every relationship I’ve been in during the past, like, five years. Like, “Yes, dear, you are very pretty. Now go entertain yourself while I talk to the people whose conversation I enjoy. I’ll call for you when I need you to be pretty for me again.”

Hey, whatever works.

You’d think once they hit their mid-30s, these women would realize that there are more than 25 men on the planet. This seems not to be the case, as Cameron Diaz is now dating Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, while Jennifer Aniston is dating Cameron Diaz ex John Mayer.

In NYC on Sunday.

To quote my roommate on this one: “Ew.”

John Mayer was seen on a date with Cameron Diaz in NYC on Tuesday night. “They went out to several places…It was the two of them, getting to know each other, out on the town,” says a source.

Diaz is in New York filming the romantic comedy What Happens in Vegas, and John Mayer is in New York being lecherous.

According to friends, the two already knew each other: “This was technically not their first time hanging out…they’ve hung out together with friends before. But this was the first time together like this. It’s new and developing…but they really like each other and it went well,”

I wonder what Jessica Simpson has to say about all this … she’s been laying pretty low lately. Come out and whine, Jess!!!

You were quite troublesome this weekend, little guy.

[hat tip]

Okay, so remember that girl you knew in college who got the word “love” tattooed on her hip in Chinese? Except what it really said is “I’m a neutered goat”? I know you knew at least one. I knew three. Maybe you even were that girl.

So Cameron Diaz goes hiking around Machu Picchu this week with a super-cute bag with a pretty red star and some fabulous Chinese writing that I’m sure she thought said “faith and love for all.” Except the Chinese writing actually said “Serve the People,” and, combined with the red star, she may as well have stuck Mao Zedong’s face on her T-shirt.

The ringing endorsement of Red China didn’t go over so hot in Peru, where the Maoist insurgency in the 1980s and early 1990s resulted in 70,000 rather brutal deaths.

Of course Cameron didn’t do this on purpose, but it seems to have offended a fair number of Peruvians.

Seriously, people, if you need another reason not to wear any words written in a language you don’t speak, look no further than Engrish.com’s clothing section. Any of you English speakers who have lived in Asia can appreciate how ridiculous it is to see an eight-year-old boy wandering around with an ice-cream cone and a T-shirt that says “Kill me now I want to die.” I’m still kicking myself for not taking a picture of that shit …

Cameron and Justin asked to reunite so that someone mentions that God awful Shrek movie again.

JT and Cam-Cam look awfully cozy at the Shrek 3 London premiere. She may be older than you, Jess, but at least she’s not a trashy skank. I’m just saying.