I have to admit that Pete Wentz isn’t half as fun to write stories about since he stopped talking about his sex life every 20 minutes.  This new, more restrained rocker dude is a real snore.

Pete was out and about last night taking his emaciated looking wife Ashlee for a walk.  Actually, they were headed to the restaurant Angels & Kings — a hot spot that I’ve been wanting to call “Angels & Demons” every single time I’ve tried to write this story.

In a totally random and unrelated vein, the paps also took pics of Cameron Diaz on the same stretch of street.  When did she go from “cute surfer chick” to “lady who attends Botox parties”?

So I got an email this morning from the fabulous Jenna over at PantyLine Press informing me that Maroon 5’s Adam Levine and Cameron Diaz are apparently a couple. Actually, she emailed me because she’d been researching Adam’s past girlfriends and had come across this photo of his ex Sophie Monk, with my hottie crush Matt Felker in the background. “Isn’t that your honey?” she asked. Ha. I love how the whole world knows about my random crushes. But, for the record, that’s all in the past! Matt is amazing and smart and gorgeous and I adore him, but in a strictly platonic sense these days! That said, I’m always happy to see a photo of him. ;)

Anyway, apparently model Paul Sculfor is a thing of the past, because a witness caught Adam and Cammie on a lunch date at Chateau Marmont. Chateau Marmont! How original! Because everything that happens at Chateau Marmont stays at Chateau Marmont, and that place has absolutely no record of leaking everything that happens there to the press. Oh, wait. Except that’s not true at all. Actually, the Chateau used to be a place where celebrities could go and have things keep quiet, but that all changed somewhere around the time that Lindsay Lohan was living there and Jen Aniston and John Mayer were sucking face all over the place. Time to find a new secret hideaway, celebs!

I really need to learn how to work my DVR.  I’m bummed out that I’m missing out on Jimmy Fallon Late Night.  Last night Jimmy danced off with Cameron Diaz and see?  Even Hollywood can’t stop talking about Octo-mom.

Personally, I love this look. The color is great, love the diamond ring, and her arm definition is STUNNING. That’s some shit you can’t buy.

Are these bangs going to be some new trend?  Because I hate them.  Like, I didn’t care when Jessica Alba got them because she’s mean and deserves ugly hair.  But Selena Gomez is just a cute and innocent kid despite that thing on her head.  Where were her parents when this haircut was happening?  Aren’t there laws to protect minors from this kind of thing? 

Speaking of devastating, I also came across some pictures of Rachel Zoe who was at the 2008 CNN Heroes with Selena event last night.  And I wikied her.  She’s 37 years old?  I will give a free Dr. Pepper to the first person who can prove that she is actually at least eight years older.  Because if I have to live with the fact that she’s only 11 months older than I am, I’m not sure I can go on.  For real.

Also there:  Lucy Liu looking pregnant, Cameron Diaz looking orange, and Ricki Lake looking like she could have made so much more effort.  Dude, you lost like, a hundred pounds.  Wear something flattering.

When I page through all the pictures that were taken at an event, there are lots of snapshots of each celebrity in different poses or scenarios.  Drinking wine, posing on the red carpet, accepting an award.  Meg Ryan’s face, in every single picture, was exactly the same.  No other facial nuance was recorded at any time.  

I know, I know.

Beauty is on the inside.

I assure you Cameron Diaz is more beautiful than you are inside, too.

Here’s Cam at the AFI night at the movies, presented by Target.

I’m just saying that out loud. Because it’s what I think every time I see a photo of her. And, like, no matter how hard I try to be proud of myself for working out every day and eating responsibly and accept the fact that I am genetically unlikely to ever be 5′9″ and 110 pounds, every time I see a picture of her, specifically, I’m just like, “Dude, that’s what I should look like, if I were pretty.”

Cameron Diaz and Gisele Bunchen. It’s the two of them that I really struggle with. They both manage to look super-thin without looking anorexic or unhealthy. I think if they were both to put on like thirty pounds and keep it on, I’d be happy with my body. I really do just fine in the face of every other celebrity, but those two make me feel sorry for myself.

Here’s Cameron leaving the gym on Thursday, looking very pretty and skinny and effortlessly flawless and just all-around better than me. Sad face.