I love the Kentucky Derby–not because of the horse racing. I could give a crap about horse racing– although I do love to hear Nancy O’Dell talk about how she chooses what horse to bet on based on how nice its ass is.

Equestrian junk-in-the-trunk aside, I love the Kentucky derby because it makes obscenely rich (and moderately famous) people put ridiculous things on their heads and stroll around for photo ops because, well, that’s just what one does on Derby Day. It’s the rich and famous version of peer pressure at its worst, and I love every minute of it.

Take a stroll through the photo gallery. You’ll find yourself asking questions like: Did a can of silly string explode on Lynn Whitfield’s head? Does Bobby Flay ever NOT look like a total prick? If I jump on Brooke Shields’ head, will I get an extra life?

In case you were wondering, a tiny, screaming, weeping, Creole lunatic riding a horse called “Mine That Bird” won the race today. God, I love the derby.

I don’t know how it could be, but Lipstick Jungle has been given a stay of execution.  NBC has put the show back on the schedule starting December 5th.  Who said miracles don’t happen?  I file this second chance in the same category as all Blessed Virgin Mary appearances that take place in the form of condensation on grocery market freezer doors.  A inexplicable event that defies logic but happens for a reason.  And for what reason do we need more Lipstick Jungle?  I don’t know either.  But as is with all divine interventions, it is not for us to question.

There are four episodes left and the network hasn’t ordered any new episodes.  So if you’re a fan, now is your time to stop mailing lipsticks to NBC execs and start recruiting viewers.  Oh, if any of you had a Lipstick Jungle party last night in honor of the last episode, restock up on the Fritos and ‘tinis because I predict the last episode, for real, will be January 9th.  I guess I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that the show’s time has changed from 10 p.m. EST to 9.  I’d hate to feel I contributed in any way to the defeat of the LJ revival campaign.

Brooke Shields and hubby Chris Henchy hit the red carpet for Horton Hears a Who with kiddos Grier and Rowan.

Grier doesn’t know what the hell’s going on, but Rowan just seems petrified.

“Nooooo … That’s my mama for real life!”

Rowan Henchy, Brooke Shields’ 4-year-old daughter, as she sat in the studio audience for a taping of Hannah Montana and watched her mother give Miley Cyrus an on-screen hug.

After the taping, Miley gave Rowan a hug and told her “It was so nice for you to let me borrow your mom for today.”

I know I announced not too long ago that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was the cutest child ever, but I think I need to reconsider. Brooke Shields’ little Grier is absolutely adorable, too. Brooke, her daughter, and her husband Chris Henchy hung out at the Mercedes Benz Polo Challenge for charity this weekend. Brooke hosted the event.

Look, I know I probably won’t be writing a celebrity gossip blog twenty years from now, but I really hope we’re still following celebrity gossip as closely then as we do now, because I’m really excited to watch all these kids grow up together. One of these days, we’re going to have Shiloh, Suri, Grier, Apple and all the rest of these tragically named children getting shitty drunk at some hip WeHo club and flipping off TMZ’s cameras, and I, for one, can’t wait.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

On Sunday, all the celebrities who weren’t at the Disney event for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation dragged their asses (and the diapered asses of their small children) all the way down to Anaheim for the opening of the Finding Nemo ride.

I’m primarily interested in these images because, once again, Denise Richards insisted on trotting her obviously anti-camera children in front of photogs again. This time she only brought Sam, leaving Lola at home in peace, I suppose. These children always look unhappy in photos. Why do you insist on doing this to them, Denise?

In stark contrast, Brooke Shields’ little daughters, Rowan and Grier, are absolutely adorable. Mariska Hargitay was there with her son August. Kobe Bryant brought his whole family. Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow were there for reasons that baffle me. (Actually, Courteney was probably there because David Arquette and his sister Patricia, who brought her daughter and goddaughter, were.) Leah Remini, Scientologist extraordinaire, brought her husband Angelo Pagan and her daughter, Sofia Bella (Pagan’s three children from his previous marriage clearly lost their invites in the mail). Melissa Joan Hart brought her cutie son Mason. And no event would be complete without the darling Sprouse Brothers, still pretending to be 15 years old.

In a gossip world defined by an unending series of rehab entrances and exits, suicides and divorces, it’s refreshing to come across a plain old-fashioned Brooke-Shields-got-stuck-in-her-trailer piece. Shields was in New York, filming Lipstick Jungle for NBC (based on a novel by Sex and the City columnist Candace Bushnell), when she and her two young daughters somehow became locked in her trailer. Crew members could not pry open the front door of her trailer, so one climbed through the window to rescue the ladies.