I think I smell another C-list feud.

Kelly Osbourne and Kim Stewart were set to do a reality show together on E! next season. It was supposed to be a Simple Life replacement, except with less famous and less interesting people. Unsurprisingly, “the network just wasn’t into Kelly and Kimberly’s show.” Instead, it looks like they’ll be the mystery network airing the Kim Kardashian reality show I mentioned last week, which co-stars her gazillion brothers and sisters, including Brody Jenner, who has to win some sort of award for reality shows based loosely around his life (Princes of Malibu, The Hills and now this … even Lauren Conrad can’t top that). Poor Kim Stewart’s tried forever to get on reality TV … she was trying to be the Nicole Richie replacement on The Simple Life during the Paris/Nicole feud, but the network was like, “Um, it turns out that you’re not very interesting when you’re not toppling off motorcycles on red carpets, so no.” I guess she’s just not destined for reality TV stardom.

Ring, ring!
Brody Jenner: Hi, Kim.
Kim Kardashian: Hi, Brody.
BJ: Gee, Kim, I sure do wish I was more famous than I am. I had that one TV show that lasted three episodes, and then I was banging Nicole Richie, and then Lauren Conrad, and now I’m just plumb out of ideas.
KK: I have the same problem.
BJ: Any suggestions?
KK: You could pee on Lauren Conrad and tape it. That works well.
BJ: That’s a really good idea, but I don’t know if Lauren would go for it.
KK: You could get a DUI or get arrested for doing something totally retarded while you’re drunk.
BJ: Yeah, but that’s so Jason Wahler. I don’t want to look like a copycat.
KK: I guess you could try feuding with someone. Spencer Pratt maybe?
BJ: See, we did that earlier in the week, and it might have been a big deal at a different time, but Lindsay Lohan got that DUI. So we blew that load for nothing.
KK: That sucks. Paris and Nicole got mileage out of that shit for like two years.
BJ: I know. It’s not fair.
KK: I’ll tell you what: I’m marginally famous for nothing. So are you. What if we showed up somewhere together? That would get some publicity for sure.
BJ: Oooh, I like that idea!
KK: Awesome. You like sushi?
BJ: Totally.

At Koi last night.

Update: I forgot these two are step-siblings. Which will make it even better publicity for them when they start dating. Thanks Anna!

In a move that absolutely reeks of Spencer Pratt’s take on marketing, he and his best friend Brody Jenner are “feuding.”

Sources tell Usmagazine.com that after a ten-year relationship that included creating a reality show (FOX’s The Princes of Malibu), partying like young Hollywood royalty and lobbying their way onto MTV’s The Hills, reality stars Spencer Pratt and Brody Jenner have broken off their friendship.

Sources confirm that the rift began shortly after Pratt made inflammatory comments about Brody’s ex Nicole Richie in a Details magazine story earlier this year, and the break was cemented about a month ago when Pratt was angered by Jenner rekindling a frienship with arch-enemy Lauren Conrad.

Really, guys?

That is so gay.

Feuding is for chicks. Leave it to Lauren and Heidi. I know, I know, you’re tired of Lauren and Heidi getting all the publicity, you both desperately want to be famous, etc, etc. I know the drill. But maybe you could have, I dunno, attended an AA meeting after alerting X17? Totaled a car? Slept with Paris Hilton? Proposed to Heidi Montag? (Oh, wait, you already did that.) But feuding over Lauren Conrad? Soooo gay. You guys need to find a new tactic, stat.

This is the second time this week.

At Hyde last night.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Just asking.

At Le Petit Four in WeHo yesterday.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

The Hills is coming back, kids, and I can’t wait!!!

The trailer premiered tonight, and it looks like season three has everything:

Lauren, still with headbands and adorable facial expressions! And she’s dating like a guy! And kissing foreigners!

Heidi! Now with lighter eyebrows!

Spencer! When you need something to help you throw up that pizza you shouldn’t have eaten, he’s still the next-best thing to your fingers!

Whitney! Now with an actual storyline!

Audrina! Still with no actual storyline!

And making a return this season:

Brody Jenner, sticking to the good-looks-with-no- personality-to-complicate-it M.O.!

Jason Wahler, back from rehab! And back in Lauren’s life!!!

And if you’ve been jonesing for some good old-fashioned Heidi/Lauren conflict, there appears to be a fantastic “You know what you did” scene. Someone’s been taking lessons from Paris Hilton …

The Hills premieres August 13 on MTV.

I have no idea how I missed this, and special thanks to Beet reader Mike for pointing me in the right direction. As part of their “Win a Date with Brody Jenner” contest, Brody has been maintaining “video diaries” for Us Weekly (or, more accurately, someone at Us sat down with him for a 5-minute interview and they cut it up into like 20 “diary” entries). I’ve embedded some of them here. You can view them all here. You can also check out the videos of the 12 finalists in the contest here.

Would I Ever Date Kristin Again?

Turn Ons and Turn Offs

Favorite Female Body Part