I feel bad for all the poor stiffs who thought they’d be meeting the ‘Maxim Hot 100′ at this party and instead got a somewhat surly looking Stacey Keibler, Brody Jenner and Doug Reinhart feeling each other up  and Kevin Sorbo in a mock turtleneck. On the upside - Brittany Snow dyed her hair dark! I actually like the change on her. She’s always been sunny super blond so maybe the new hair will help her get more serious roles.

Other attendees, including Chris from N*Sync and Howie from BSB..

That is, I want to hear from all 963,000 people who tuned in to the premier of Brody Jenner’s MTV show Bromance.  I want to know who you are, where you live and what meds you are currently taking. 

In case you aren’t too familiar with Bromance, let me clue you in.  It’s basically the testosterone version of Paris Hilton’s My New BFFwith segments such as canfessionals (that’s right, filmed on a toilet) and eliminations that take place, of course, in a hot tub.  Here’s hoping the dismal ratings translate to “on hiatus”.

In other “Remember When MTV Played Videos?” news, The City, spinoff of The Hills pretty much tanked with 1.6 million viewers which is a 38% drop from last week’s Hills finale.

Brody Jenner and Lauren Conrad were spotted cuddling and canoodling at hotspot LAX.

Hurry up and knock her up already, Brody. This is soooo boring.

Kevin Federline (sporting a mohawk?) and Brody Jenner partied at LAX in Vegas on Saturday night, where they chilled with Paris and Nicky Hilton.

What a black hole of stupid.

Image via Splash

Is the tattoo real? Is his first name on the other side? Will Spencer and Heidi be there? Or are we still pretending to have that feud? So many questions, so little information available. I think Brody Jenner should record a 3-minute trailer for his birthday party. Maybe MTV will air it. I know we’d be happy to run it on here.

I think I smell another C-list feud.

Kelly Osbourne and Kim Stewart were set to do a reality show together on E! next season. It was supposed to be a Simple Life replacement, except with less famous and less interesting people. Unsurprisingly, “the network just wasn’t into Kelly and Kimberly’s show.” Instead, it looks like they’ll be the mystery network airing the Kim Kardashian reality show I mentioned last week, which co-stars her gazillion brothers and sisters, including Brody Jenner, who has to win some sort of award for reality shows based loosely around his life (Princes of Malibu, The Hills and now this … even Lauren Conrad can’t top that). Poor Kim Stewart’s tried forever to get on reality TV … she was trying to be the Nicole Richie replacement on The Simple Life during the Paris/Nicole feud, but the network was like, “Um, it turns out that you’re not very interesting when you’re not toppling off motorcycles on red carpets, so no.” I guess she’s just not destined for reality TV stardom.

Ring, ring!
Brody Jenner: Hi, Kim.
Kim Kardashian: Hi, Brody.
BJ: Gee, Kim, I sure do wish I was more famous than I am. I had that one TV show that lasted three episodes, and then I was banging Nicole Richie, and then Lauren Conrad, and now I’m just plumb out of ideas.
KK: I have the same problem.
BJ: Any suggestions?
KK: You could pee on Lauren Conrad and tape it. That works well.
BJ: That’s a really good idea, but I don’t know if Lauren would go for it.
KK: You could get a DUI or get arrested for doing something totally retarded while you’re drunk.
BJ: Yeah, but that’s so Jason Wahler. I don’t want to look like a copycat.
KK: I guess you could try feuding with someone. Spencer Pratt maybe?
BJ: See, we did that earlier in the week, and it might have been a big deal at a different time, but Lindsay Lohan got that DUI. So we blew that load for nothing.
KK: That sucks. Paris and Nicole got mileage out of that shit for like two years.
BJ: I know. It’s not fair.
KK: I’ll tell you what: I’m marginally famous for nothing. So are you. What if we showed up somewhere together? That would get some publicity for sure.
BJ: Oooh, I like that idea!
KK: Awesome. You like sushi?
BJ: Totally.

At Koi last night.

Update: I forgot these two are step-siblings. Which will make it even better publicity for them when they start dating. Thanks Anna!