The sound folks on Britney’s show need to stop sniffing paint. Once again, they left her microphone on at a time when it should have been off, and Britney’s enthusiastic “Bitch!” was captured for all to hear (around the 0:04 mark on this clip). It’s like the only time this girl’s mic is actually off is when she’s “singing.”

I hope that when I go to see Britney, the audio guys will just be completely passed out and we can hear EVERYTHING she mumbles to herself over the course of a show, little gems like “Fuck yeah!” and “What city are we in again?” and “I can smell my own pussy from here!”

I still have my doubts about this recording, frankly, because the person speaking does sound a lot like Britney, but she speaks more intelligently and articulately than I’ve ever heard Britney sound in an interview. Not that that’s saying much, but still.

Anyway, the dude who runs BreatheHeavy.com, a Britney fan site with traditionally strong ties to Brit’s camp, says it’s his recording and it’s real. He’s also been battling Jamie Spears, who wants to shut down his site, for awhile now. Why is Jamie Spears targeting this dude? His site gets less traffic than a lot of the bloggers out there who are talking shit about Britney. He doesn’t use Brit’s name in his URL, and he’s vocal about the fact that it’s an unofficial fan site. He must have touched a nerve. It’s funny — he’s started to refer to her as “Brittany” to avoid legal complications. Way to go, dude. Fight that shit.

Also, you’ll recall that the recording was run on JFX Online, which is the pap agency that used to employ Adnan Ghalib. Which is inneresting, to say the least.

Is there way more drama in the Spears camp than meets the eye right now? GOD I HOPE NOT. I have tickets to see that bitch on April 9. She sure as hell better not have a breakdown before then.

I don’t know guys.  This voicemail is reportedly Our Lady Of Cheese Grits leaving a voicemail for an attorney that was assisting in having her dad’s conservatorship dissolved.  Do you think this is actually Brit?  Because I’ve never heard a sentence spoken by her that didn’t include the word “y’all,” I’m very unsure.  Thoughts?

Here’s the transcript, in case the audio, uh, disappears:

Hi my name’s Britney Spears. I called you earlier. I’m calling again because I just wanted to make sure that during the process of eliminating the conservatorship that my father has threatened me several times, you know, he’ll take my children away.  I just want to be guaranteed that
everything will be fine with the process of you guys taking care of
everything that things will stay the same as far as my custodial time.
That’s it, bye.

Like, I feel that if it was really Ms. Spears, it would sound more like this, all uttered to the backdrop of gum-chomping, of course:

Hi, y’all.  Muh name’s Brit and I called y’all earlier.  I’m calling agin ‘cuz I wanna make sure that when I ditch my daddy, he doesn’t take muh babies from me.  I just wanna know that it’ll all be okay and you guys will make sure that I git to see muh babies.  Y’all can reach me at Waffle House.  Uh, okay.  Bye, y’all

And that’s apparently a LOW estimate, and it doesn’t include 2009. $2.7M is what Britney Spears’ estate has paid lawyers since her father took over her life via a conservatorship in 2007.

At least 17 lawyers and firms have had a hand in Spears’ personal or business matters in the 14 months since a judge determined she was not competent to manage her life and multimillion-dollar music empire herself.

The legal work has not come cheap, according to court papers, including an accounting filed in Superior Court in Los Angeles on Monday. The singer’s estate or the trust that holds most of her assets paid at least $2.7 million in lawyers’ fees and costs, and probably much more, during the initial 11 months of the court-ordered conservatorship, the filings show. Many attorneys continue to work on the case, accruing additional fees that will be submitted for approval at a later date.

Attorneys contacted about their fees did not return calls or declined to comment.

The number of attorneys has been a source of amusement and criticism. At a recent court hearing, half a dozen attorneys representing the singer, her father and her estate formed a wall of gray flannel and banker’s boxes that obscured the audience’s view of the judge and prompted a puzzled opposing attorney to wonder aloud, “Which one of you am I supposed to talk to?”

Another opponent sniped then that “Miss Britney Spears is being bled dry by these proceedings.”

Retired probate judge Arnold Gold, who has not reviewed Spears’ case, said that although legal fees may sound large, many bills — such as those from divorce or entertainment attorneys — would be incurred whether the conservatorship was in place or not.

“The mere dollar amount doesn’t automatically mean it is inappropriate,” said Gold, who presided over the settling of Tupac Shakur’s estate. “It’s quite appropriate, particularly in the entertainment field, to incur and have to pay very, very, very sizable attorneys’ fees.”

So, ya know, $2.7M sounds like a lot of money, but it’s really nothing when you consider that these legal proceedings probably saved her life, and certainly saved her career. She had a #1 album and she’s on a sold-out tour — lucrative stuff — and if her father hadn’t taken that conservatorship, she’d probably be dead, and she’d certainly not be creating new albums or touring (you’ll recall that she didn’t manage to do a tour to support Blackout — she barely managed to make a music video for it). Plus I’m pretty sure those fees are tax-deductible. This is probably way less of a big deal than people are making it out to be. I don’t think Britney Spears is pacing around backstage at her sold-out tours mourning a couple mil going to her lawyers.

It just became a fiasco of madness.  [But] I always stay true to my heart and true to everything I did and my intentions, and I am in no way a liar.

I look back on it as very interesting [in terms of] how things have been sort of unraveling for her since.  [But] it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. [Still], I’m a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now.

Her own decisions and different things in her life, people can judge her all they want, but she has an extreme presence and when she’s giving it, it’s really good.  I don’t think you can really write her off and I just think it’d be silly for people to think that they could. Everything kind of works in cycles and I think she’s an example of how those things work.

I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her.

Limp Bizkit’s front man Fred Durst getting more miles to the gallon out of fucking Britney Spears-speaking with MTV News about Britney Spears and their brief tryst that she denied.  Their brief tryst that happened six…years…ago.  Seriously.

Britney Spears’ ex-pap, Adnan Ghalib could be gifted with a one-way ticket to Afghanistan if he’s found guilty of the assault charges that he’s currently facing.

Pap Smear should have thought of that before trying to run over a process server with his car.  He now faces seven years in jail or, preferably, deportation to his homeland.

Now, according to a source from the LA police, there is some confusion regarding where Ghalib is actually from.  I’m thinking hell.

Brit’s new world premiere of her If You Seek Amy video is viewable here.  Thoughts?

As an aside, the story about the tour dancers that were fired after being given drug tests ended up being a, uh, false positive.  No dancers have been axed and everyone is clean as a whistle.  Carry on.