X17 has a super cute video of Britney at Mr. Chows and Hyde. It is a little freaky how the paparazzi get up in her face. [X17Online]

Everyone has advice for Britney on her big 25 Birthday. Here is a 12 Step Plan for the Pop Princess to get back on top. [The Washington Post]

Britney Spears wears panties…kind of granny panties but you gotta give her props for trying. [DListed]

Britney and Brandon in the bathroom? Say it isn’t so. [Page Six]

Via Celebitchy, Amy Poehler doing “Weekend Update” on SNL.

“Speaking of Britney Spears, I’d just like to take a minute to address this latest trend, flashing your bizness while coming in, and or, leaving a limousine. Ladies (read: Britney, Paris, and Lindsay, but especially Britney), you need to cool it. Nobody wants to see your baby factory. Look, I get it, I’ve been in this business for 65 years. I know how it works. Flashing Beav is part of the game. But if your gonna do it at least get paid for it…….The point is, you guys are making Tara Reid look like Audry Hepburn. What’s next? Shots of stars pooping out of a window? And lastly, ladies, what’s up with all the deforestation going on down there? You need hair down there! It’s a backup system for underwear! Even when you’re showin’ it, you’re not really showin’ it! There was a time when a lady garden was as big as a slice of New York pizza. Then, it turned into an upside down John Waters mustache. Now, every girl is as smooth as Joey Lawrence’s head! Global warming? You decide. But remember, I always believe a woman’s nethers should be shrouded in mystery.”

Will we ever stop talking about Britney’s va jay jay? Not anytime soon ladies and gentlemen.

Jennifer Lopez is turning to Scientologist pal Leah Remini for tips on how the religion can help her get knocked up. Does Xenu recommend you have a three-man camera crew from VH1 living in your house throughout the process, Leah? [I'm Not Obsessed]

Look, MTV, when you’ve resorted to The Real World: Denver, you can’t exactly expect viewership to soar. Up next: Road Rules: Presidential Libraries. [Pop on the Pop]

Tony Parker caves. [Celebrity Smack]

It is a distant possibility that Nicky Hilton is not particularly involved in the, you know, actual work behind her new line of boutique hotels. [Dirty Laundry]

Britney’s first (55-hour) husband happily cashes in on her recent media prominence, reveals she had a tummy tuck. “No duh,” say six-year-olds nationwide. [Cele|Bitchy]

Pink wears underwear. Unlike some people. [TMZ]

From Blogger’s status blog:

Thursday, November 30, 2006
We are currently investigating the intermittent 502 error pages on the new version of Blogger in beta and its Blog*Spot blogs. If you experience one of these errors, waiting a minute or so and refreshing may help.

I’ve talked to a few other gossip bloggers, all of whom are experiencing insane levels of traffic from people searching for Britney’s vagina. At Evil Beet yesterday we experienced traffic at more than ten times our normal level. Today we’re on track for that to be twenty times. I wonder if this sudden traffic surge is impacting Google’s Blogger servers. Man, I hope so. I hope Britney’s vagina broke Google.

Related: sorry for the 502 errors. It’s not my fault! If you try to load the site and it won’t come up, try again in a few minutes. Thanks for reading! (Or, um, looking, as is the case for most of you.)

Quick note from the Beet: I apologize for the incredibly slow load times lately. We’re seeing unprecedented levels of traffic, thanks to the whole freakin’ world searching for pictures of Britney Spears’ vagina. Unfortunately, they’re not our servers (but thank you, Google, for letting us use yours for free), so there’s not a whole lot we can do. Hang in there, and I’m sure traffic (and load times) will be back to normal once someone who plays sports does something interesting.

Update: For those of you who have shown up here looking for these pictures, they are here and here. Enjoy! Tell your friends! Masturbate! Vomit! Sigh…

Is there trouble is Paris-dise for Britney Spears? After being total BFF for a full five days (which may be some sort of record for Paris), the two were partying separately last night, with Britney treating the world to another unrequested glimpse of her hoo-hoo at a Malibu gas station (class-ay), and Paris hitting up a Volkswagen rager with Nicole Richie.

On Monday, Paris said about Britney, “I love her. She is the sweetest girl I know. She’s so down-to-earth. I just want her to smile and be happy.” Fox had hoped to ride along on their publicity train (and Paris owes them big time, after her feud with Richie cost them a final season of The Simple Life), planning to have Spears and Hilton co-host the Fox Billboard Music Awards, scheduled to air December 4. Page Six referred to the dual hosts as a “black hole of stupidity.” But, alas, Las Vegas may be spared the stunning gravitational implosion of dumb, as Britney pulled out of negotiations at the eleventh hour, failing to give a reason.

Things have not been looking good for Miss Britney lately. After the entire nation acted as her cheering squad when she filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, Brit has squandered nearly all that goodwill in just a few short weeks with an undending series of drunken evenings, allowing the paparazzi to get candids of her lady parts three times in one week, and missing scheduled recording sessions.

The Billboard Awards may have Hilton host solo, or may ask comedian Brad Garrett to take on the challenge.