OMG you guys today was AMAZING!!! It was all about my girl BRITNEY SPEARS!!! You guys know how much I love Britney and how excited I was for this show, and it totally lived up to all my expectations. I was so very fortunate to have my BFF Alex come into town to go to the show with me, and I really can’t think of anyone I would have had more fun with. We started the day by hitting up H&M to get some awesome (and cheap!) Britney outfits. There’s a huge H&M in University Village by UW, and I swear we’d walked through almost all of it without seeing anything that was right for the show. We were so disappointed. But THEN we saw these little tutu skirts and colored jackets, and we were like, “Bingo.” We picked up little tube tops to go underneath the jackets, and we were good to go. Perfect Britney Spears outfits, and matchy without being totally matched. I swung by the wig shop near Pike Place that some of you recommended, and they had a perfect little pink wig (although I did have to cut it into a pseudo-bob). We were golden. We went home and got started on getting dressed and makeup. Of course this took waaaay longer than we expected, and by the time we hit the road it was much later than I’d hoped. Plus, traffic down to Tacoma was terrible — I think it took us an hour and a half to go 30 miles. We didn’t even get to the Tacoma Dome until 6 pm. The VIP Experience stuff was at 4:15, and I was bummed that we’d missed it, until we picked up our tickets at Will Call and found out that we had some other type of VIP tickets. It wasn’t the one with the tour anyway, so it was just as well that we’d been super late.

Alex’s fake eyelashes were falling off, and, in our rush, we’d forgotten to pack the eyelash glue. We wandered around looking for other girls wearing fake eyelashes and asked them if they’d brought glue, but no one had. At last, we spotted a drag queen performing with the Movin 92.5 van. “She will have eyelash glue!” I announced. We went up and asked her after her set, and she was like, “Yes of COURSE I do!” and she ran into the van and let us borrow it. She turned out to be Gaysha Starr, an icon on the Seattle drag scene. Here’s a hot pic of her performing before the show:

We decided to grab dinner at the restaurant at the Tacoma Dome, and I was really surprised after an hour of people-watching how few people dressed up. I guess I’m not in LA anymore. Most people were just wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I’m so used to Los Angeles, where you basically wear a costume just to go to a show. I was sporting my pink wig, and everyone complimented it, and some girls actually asked to take a photo with me. The wig was a TOTAL hit. Thanks to the commenter who suggested it. Great idea.

We got to our seats just as the Pussy Cat Dolls were going on — of course, the show started an hour later than scheduled. I have to say, the theater was packed, waaay more full than a theater usually is for an opening act. Nicole Scherzinger & Co put on a good show. I don’t think I fully understood that the Pussy Cat Dolls are basically Nicole and four backup dancers. I mean, no one else really sings at all. I always figured they split up the solos. Not true. It’s all just Nicole. I’m not even really sure why those other girls were there. I kind of felt bad for them.

PCD did a really short set, probably only 4 or 5 songs. I wonder if that’s because they started so late or if that’s how it always is. I figured that after their set we’d have at least an hour or so before Britney, but they got her on pretty quick, like only 20 minutes later. And Britney. Was. Amazing. I mean, the show was just incredible. The audience was on their feet the entire time. The whole stadium was standing for the whole show. The choreography and the effects were stellar, and I have to say that Britney was damn sexy. Her butt cheeks were hanging out pretty much the entire time (but never her pussy!) and she totally rocked all those outfits. And she works hard. That is a tough show to do night after night. I’m very impressed with her. Her dancers and acrobats are equally amazing. Everyone on the stage was just working their asses off. I even felt sometimes like the dancers were working harder than Britney, but of course all eyes were on Brit. We definitely felt like we got our money’s worth. I was just up on my feet dancing and shouting the whole time. I’m sooo not going to have a voice tomorrow.

I also have to say that the videos they showed up on the big screen were amazing, soooo sexy and fun and really brilliantly edited. Whoever did those should get a raise. Right before the encore they did a fantastic montage of all the greatest moments from Britney’s music videos. They even showed the scene in “Toxic” where Britney’s making out with my gorgeous sexy friend, Matt Felker (who refuses to be anything more than friends with me, because he is infuriating like that). I texted him: “Do you know you’re in the Britney show?” He said: “Yes, I’ve heard. Blog about how she should PAY ME for it.” So there ya go, Matt. Blogged. Sex now?

I took a bunch of video for you guys to watch, for those of you who won’t get a chance to see the actual show. The zoom feature on my new camera works wonders. Thanks to everyone on Twitter who helped me pick it out. I don’t know if Britney’s camp will demand they be taken down, so watch ‘em while you can in case I get a complaint and Veoh shuts down my entire account with no warning, like YouTube did last year. And when you hear someone in the background screaming like a banshee and discussing the asses of the back-up dancers, that’s me. When you hear someone singing really off-key, that’s not me. It’s the girl behind me. Promise. The videos are after the jump, along with more photos.

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I am getting reports in like crazy that Britney Spears STOPPED her concert in Vancouver for a full 30 minutes!!!! She just walked off stage. Apparently there was too much SMOKE around the stage (I’m guessing the funny-smelling kind of smoke). The concert-goers booed her.

Ohhhhhhhh Britney.

Get it TOGETHER! I see your ass TOMORROW and you better not fuck it up.

You guys, I totally have VIP tickets. I didn’t even realize I’d gotten VIP tickets until we got our special VIP gifts in the mail. So what that means? Is that we get to get there at 4:15 and do all this shit. How amazingly cheesy does this look? I can’t even believe how cheesy. But I don’t think I can miss it! I wonder if they’ll let me in to the special VIP experience if I’m wearing my pink wig and clutching my umbrella …

Update: At the end of the show Britney reportedly said “Don’t smoke weed … unless you are outside!” You tell ‘em, girl.

I really cannot wait for Beet’s review of Britney Spears in lip-syncing heaven concert, even if I do have bad news for her this morning.  It seems like Brit says something wholly inappropriate every seven days or so.  And since Brit screamed out, “We’re gonna rock it out with our cocks out,” Monday night in Edmonton, this doesn’t bode well for Beet getting to witness the oral insanity live, tomorrow night in Tacoma.

Oh, and because I know you like to occasionally hear things coming out of Brit’s mouth that aren’t on pre-recorded tracks, here’s the video.  You care about 6:55 on…

You guys!

Big decision time!

I’m going to see Britney here in Seattle on THURSDAY!!! My best friend is coming out to Seattle to go with me. We are SOOO excited! We were texting this morning trying to figure out what we are going to wear. We have NO idea! I said I’d ask you guys for ideas. I know you guys can get creative and fun.

What should we wear to the Britney show????

“Cubed” means to the third power, right?  Because I need to make sure that I’m using the right mathematical term to define the insanity that occurred last night at the Wiltern in Hollywood.  Lily Allen did a cover of Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” and danced with Lindsay Lohan.  I’m sorry, But Lily Allen and Lindsay Lohan singing and dancing to Britney Spears?  That is, just…tri-fuckery.

Untraceable cell phones. Secret rendezvous. SOS signals. It’s all here, at least in the version of Britney Spears’ life that Sam Lutfi is making up. His sister took the stand in court today to talk about all the kinds of crazy they’ve been through trying to stay in contact with Britney despite a restraining order.

Christina Lutfi said Britney Spears told her that she was afraid of her father and needed her brother’s help to hire her own attorney. The 25-year-old was introduced as a surprise witness Wednesday, moments after a judge rejected a motion to dismiss the restraining order.

She was also the last witness in a hearing that has spanned three months. Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Aviva K. Bobb continued temporary orders until she hears closing arguments April 21.

Christina Lutfi said her brother gave her a prepaid cell phone, which she secretly gave to Spears at a hotel sauna, so that the two could contact each other. She said she repeatedly called the number, trying to make sure the singer was safe.

She claimed she used her brother’s cell phone in recent months. But under questioning by Jamie Spears’ attorneys, Christina Lutfi could not recall the phone number of one of her brother’s cell phones, nor the phone she said she’d handed to Spears.

She also acknowledged that she shared the cell phone with her brother at their parents’ home, where a landline is installed.

Jamie Spears testified in February that he eventually found and confiscated the phone, which indicated communications to Lutfi and his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib. The phone’s discovery, and a series of late-night and early phone calls from Lutfi, led to the current restraining order application … testimony from Britney Spears’ hairdresser and a security guard indicated the singer was troubled by Lutfi’s overtures.

Arguments were echoed by attorney for lawyer Jon Eardley, who the conservatorship also hopes to block from contacting Spears. Eardley has repeatedly been rejected in attempts to install himself as Britney Spears’ attorney, and was rebuffed last month at a hearing where he sought to invalidate the conservatorship.

Evidence showed communications between Lutfi and Eardley, and Jamie Spears’ attorneys have called their relationship a “conspiracy” to undermine the conservatorship.

So, like, woah. This is some deeply woven shit. Are these people really just so crazy and greedy that they’re going to courtroom lengths to get a piece of Britney Spears? From the outside, Britney seems much, much better under her conservatorship. I think if Jamie were really treating her badly or if she were actually in any danger, we’d be hearing about it from her dancers and her stylists and even Kevin Federline, not from Sam Lutfi. Britney may not be happy under the conservatorship, but it exists because she has proven definitively that she can’t be trusted to safely make her own choices.

Here’s a sneak preview at Britney Muh Bitch Of A Pussy Keeps Fallin’ Out Spears’ new Candie’s ad.  Every time I see Candie’s, I think of Daisy Duke-not the shorts, the chick from Dukes of Hazzard.  Which makes me think of Jessica Simpson.  Which makes me think of Chicken of the Sea tuna.  Which makes me think of Brit.

It’s an amazing universe.