Wow, can this girl never go a full month without the news covering a story about something coming out of her vagina? From Page Six:

Britney Spears has cleaned up her act — but she’s still kind of a mess. The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

OMG so if you read through those adorably euphemistic lines, Britney Spears’ vagina bled all over those designer clothes. Unless by “time of month” this source meant “the time of month that Britney spontaneously pees all over designer clothes.” I have a lot of questions here. Did she know she was on her period and just not use a tampon? Did she have a tampon in and forget to change it? Or did it sneak up on her? Because sometimes that just happens.

I just kind of feel bad for Brit about all this. Like, homegirl’s done a pretty fantastic job of keeping her act together these past few months, and the media’s still so damn set on finding completely humiliating stories about her. I think you and your menstruating vagina are awesome, Britney!

No, Britney doesn’t really have a new fragrance named ‘Mo hitting the shelves, though wouldn’t it be wonderful if she did? 

Instead, she did a spoof fragrance ad to help advertise Logo Network’s New Now Next Awards which are airing on June 13th. 

When I saw this clip, it got me to researching perfume names.  Did you know that there is a scent called “Fluid Iceberg” on the market?  I’m just saying…

Happy Memorial Day, y’all!! For those of you who aren’t in the U.S., Memorial Day is a national holiday to commemorate men and women who died during military service. We commemorate them by taking the day off of work and drinking too much. So in order to understand the pain our soldiers endure, I’ve forced Wendie to take the day off and spend it with her young children. I’m considering it the greatest service I’ve done for our country since those things I did to that Marine I picked up on Coronado Island last summer. I’ll be around briefly today but will mostly be enjoying the sunshine.

Britney Spears spent some time this weekend in Louisiana at her cousin Laura Lynne Covington’s wedding. She was an “honorary” bridesmaid, whatever the hell that means. She was in the wedding, she walked down the aisle (with her brother), and she went to the reception. I’m not especially sure what’s “honorary” about that. Is that like when you give someone an “honorary” diploma? Because that basically means, like, “Hey, you did nothing to deserve this, but we’re letting you have it anyway because you’re a valuable public figure.” I think if someone made me an “honorary” bridesmaid I’d be kind of pissed. Like, what, I’m not like a normal friend to you, but you’ve extended this “honor” as a professional courtesy? I guess it makes sense — Britney’s had so many of her own weddings at this point, she’s definitely qualified as a professional guest.

Regardless, Britney did a fantastic job in her role as “honorary” bridesmaid. At the reception, she chilled with her sister and fellow bridesmaid, Jamie Lynn, who toted baby Maddie, and “sat at a table off to the side and visited with local people she knew,” says a guest. “There was no fanfare,” noted the guest. “With all the star power Britney and her family command, it was still the bride’s day.”

There’s nothing more depressing than sitting home on the Friday night of a three-day weekend with nothing to do except to look at pictures of rich people on vacation.  But since it’s Brit, I’ll make an exception.

Now that she’s wrapped up the US leg of her Circus tour, she headed to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas with her sons, nanny and boyfriend agent, to enjoy some fun in the sun.  She looks tanned, healthy and sane.

You know, a couple of years ago, I don’t think many people thought she’d ever record another album.  Now, to see her with a little bit of her own hair…it does my heart good.

I don’t understand this and I kind of hate it. BritneySpears.com today released the cover art for Britney’s latest single, “Radar,” which was originally a part of her Blackout album. I don’t mind the song, but it’s not one of my Britney faves, and there are definitely cooler tracks on Circus, like “Kill the Lights” or “Phonography,” which I don’t even think was part of the US release of the album. Why are they re-releasing “Radar?”

That’s what Extra is reporting. They say it’s a “rumor,” but since the “rumor” comes from FOX, they’re thinking that there might be a grain of truth to it. The Idol producers haven’t confirmed anything — although Lionel Richie, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Queen Latifah, Black Eyed Peas, Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood and David Cook are all confirmed for the big show.

Who do you guys think will win? Is Adam Lambert a shoe-in? I like Kris Allen just fine, but you guys know I loooooove me some Adam!!!

Here’s a way better vid of the crazy dude who rushed the stage at Britney’s Connecticut show on Saturday. You can see around 2:19 how scared Britney is. She starts screaming and shaking, and then she quickly gets it together and resumes the show.

I’d be terrified too if I were her. To us it’s just like “Ohhh, crazy Britney fan,” but Brit doesn’t know if he’s just an over-excited fan or if he’s trying to kill her. It’s really impressive how well she pulled it back together and carried on with the show. Go Brit-Brit!!!

Oh, and this asshole was arrested.