Britney did some shopping on Robertston Blvd. in L.A. yesterday.  She appeared alternately gleeful and morose.  I don’t really care what her mood is as long as I can continue to ignore that huge ring on her left ring finger.  Dudes, she isn’t getting married … is she?  Can we handle a third Mr. Britney Spears?

Pictures in the gallery of Brit in no bra, bad hair, crazy hats and smeared lipstick.  And they said crazy was out.

According to Gatecrasher, Brit’s kids have little potty mouths.  Last week, while Brit was stocking up on a bunch of free stuff at an L.A. swag event, the charming little tots Sean and Jayden kept yelling, “Oh shit!”  And you know, the way it’s being reported, Britney didn’t address or even acknowledge their behavior, but people who have toddlers already know this:  Those kids could have been saying anything.  They could have been saying “Open it!” or very possibly “Want grits!” or “Daddy’s fat!”  

The media is so quick to paint Brit as this tuned-out, flake of a mother.  Quite frankly, who cares if the kids are swearing up a storm?  The fact that Britney hung out in a club with Lindsay Lohan last week is about 117 times more concerning.

I’m trying to decide what my favorite moment of the Teen Choice Awards was. Fox actually cut one of my favorite moments, where Dane Cook asked where Vanessa Hudgens was, she raised her hand, and then he told her she needed to put some clothes on. It’s in the clip above. Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! OMG that’s so funny, Dane! Get it? Because she’s had naked photo scandals twice now? I can’t think of a wittier approach to the situation. I love this clip not because it disses Vanessa (I don’t really care about that), but because it makes Dane Cook look like the lame douche that he is.

My other favorite is the clip below, where Miley Cyrus practically confesses her desire to lick Britney Spears’ feet as she presents her with the Ultimate Lord of the Universe and All of Time and Space and Malibu surfboard, and then Britney comes on stage with half a broom stuck on top of her head and runs away from Miley as quickly as possible. She then mumbles like two sentences into the microphone as quickly as she possibly can and gets offstage as fast as possible, like her Xanax is going to turn into a pumpkin if she doesn’t take it before midnight. In fairness: her legs look amazing the whole time.

It’s red carpet time! Or, I guess in this case, it’s green carpet time. Young Hollywood turned out in droves for Sunday night’s Teen Choice Awards. I don’t know who won what award because I’m not a teen, and it’s not my choice. I chose to watch football. But I do enjoy seeing who wore what to the awards show.

The green carpet was shot outside, in natural light– something for which Beet always cuts celebs a little extra slack. But not me. Because its the same light that all of us have to live every day of our lives in. So when a celeb shows up on the red carpet in natural light that reveals their haggard eye bags and pancake makeup, I feel highly vindicated. Case in point: Amanda Bynes (above). I’m not sure what kinds of bottles she’s been hitting, or how often, but I’m convinced that bottles are definitely being hit.

I’m also convinced that inside Rumer Willis’ gullet is a pelican desperately struggling to swallow a fish.

Britney Spears, on the other hand, looked fabulous. I’ve never been a big fan of her fashion choices, but her dress tonight was sexy with a touch of  class.

Miley Cyrus showed up in an outfit that may have been made up of pieces from her Wal-mart line. I have nothing against Wal-mart, and definitely nothing against Miley, but I’m not so sure that was the best fashion choice for an awards show. Nothing says tacky like a darkly colored bra showing through a wife beater.

Other atendees included Robert Pattinson, looking drugged and disheveled as ever, Kristen Bell in my least favorite celeb fashion trend of the last few years (a jumpsuit), the Jonas Brothers, Fergie, Emma Roberts, Jordin Sparks, Kristen Stewart, Alexis Bledel, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez, and Kat Von D.

So who had your favorite look of the evening? Worst?

I don’t know, guys.  It was just the other day that I said it seems like Brit is really starting to look like her old self from the pre-pink wig era.  Now, she has the nerve to be seen out at Grand Star Jazz Club with crazy eyes and bad hair until 4 a.m.  Is Unstable Barbie slipping back to the Adnan days?

Lots of pics in the gallery including a not-so-flattering ass shot and Brit earlier in the day leaving her eight-hour appointment at Andy LeCompte hair salon.

Britney was seen — where else? — at a Starbucks drive-thru yesterday in L.A.  I was a little worried a few weeks ago when she went back to the crazy hair, but here she looks healthy, normal, and really pretty even with no makeup on!

Keep it up, Brit!  In another few months, you’ll be able to buy that Venti latte without your daddy’s permission!

Things are getting back to normal for Britney Spears.  Dad Jamie has asked the courts to review the conservatorship when her tour ends in November.  I suspect that “Daddy is in control” was one of the major clauses that concert promoters insisted upon when scheduling the “Circus”  tour.   Though Spears Sr. cannot actually request for the conservatorship to be dissolved, it looks like he’s hoping that it will be so that Britney can get back to the business of being a normal, decision-making 27-year-old. 

Now that things are settling down with Brit, Kevin Federline is in talks, maybe with VH1, to star in a reality show with his girlfriend Victoria Prince (perhaps Sean Preston and Jayden James as well).  Back in 2008, K-Fed had been approached about a reality show but scrapped the plans because of the struggles that Britney was experiencing.  Kevin’s girlfriend takes online college classes and basically gave up her whole life to move in with K — hard to believe, isn’t it?  According to reports, the relationship between the gal who once had promise and the dude who never showed promise will be a main focus of the show.