“Girls need to imagine and picture their life with a screaming newborn baby and then think before they have sex. Think about the consequences … If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody.”

Bristol Palin, discussing teenage motherhood with People magazine.

Got opinions? We’re talking about it over on Zelda Lily.

Earlier this week Marin talked over on Zelda Lily about Bristol Palin’s new abstinence initiative.  She has joined with the Candie’s Foundation along with, and prepare for hysterical laughter here, Hayden Panettiere to talk about the only 100% effective form of birth control:  abstinence.

I started reading up on this Candie’s Foundation and I must tell you, I’m more confused than ever.  I think they promote abstinence but then Hayden was quoted as saying, “There’s a lot of different viewpoints on sex, and I’m not someone who will ever boo-hoo anything or say, ‘This is not right,’ or, ‘This is wrong.  You’re going to do what you’re going to do, but at the end of the day, it’s okay as long as you educate yourself, as long as you’re safe, as long as you’re smart.  It’s a topic that’s not talked about enough.”

So there you are ladies!  Straight from the mouth of Hayden Pantyline.  Do whatever you want, it’s okay!  I’m so relieved…I wouldn’t want Hayden boo-hooing my choices.  What an idiot!  Oh, and speaking of faking abstinence, Hayden was recently overheard talking about David Duchovny’s sex addiction woes and said to a friend, “Well if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!”

Oh, man. That Palin family. I thought they’d stop entertaining us after this last Presidential election wrapped up, but I should have known better.

Here’s a clip of Levi whining to Tyra Banks about how Bristol is mean to him and won’t let him take the baby anywhere. Poor Levi. He really has that “pathetic” act down pat right now. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. And I love how Tyra is just coaxing out every sob-story word of it, letting every little drop of mock-tragedy fall like water down her silly, silly extensions.

So what does Sarah Palin’s camp have to say about all this? “We’re disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship,” her rep said in a statement. Dude. That’s a really poorly written statement. It’s not clear what “their relationship” and its corresponding “distortion” refers to. The Palins can’t even get a publicist who can write?

Star magazine is reporting that the love affair of the century has come to an end.  No, not Ginger Twat and her billionaire-more serious than that.

Bristol Palin and baby daddy Levi Johnston are ovah!  I’m sure Sarah is thrilled that her daughter has split with the sperm donating high school dropout.  This gives her time.  Specifically, this gives her three years to find a respectable young man to hook her daughter up with-you know, before election 2012!

Levi’s sister, Mercede, told Star that Bristol refuses to let Levi visit, in an effort to keep baby Tripp way from the “white trash” that is his father.  Trash Sis also said that former veep wannabe, Sarah, supports her daughter’s actions.  Of course she does!  It’s a dream come true.

I found this picture of Levi’s finger when I was researching this story.  It seemed like such a romantic notion to have the name of the love of your life tattooed on your finger.  Until I realized that he also has his own last name tattooed on his forearm in large block print.  Not only could he not remember to wear a condom, he can’t remember his own surname?  Odd.

People magazine won the bidding war for the first pics of Bristol Palin’s baby — for a $300K price tag, reportedly.

According to one source, bidding for the baby photos began at $100,000. People won out in the end, but In Touch was the only other weekly to make serious bids, according to several sources involved in the process.

The price didn’t soar immediately, according to the sources, because Sarah Palin stories just didn’t sell all that well for the weeklies on newsstands.

“Sarah was on the cover of People, Us Weekly, and OK! the same week, and really only People saw a bump in sales,” says a source.

The drug-related arrest of Johnston’s mother, however, caused the price tag for the photos to go up.

“The bidding started well before the baby was born, but once Levi’s mom was arrested — well, then you had a story,” says one editor.

What do you guys think Bristol and Levi will do with the cash? I mean, you can’t buy class, and I have a feeling this kid ain’t going to college, so they’ll probably just buy a bunch of cars.

Congratulations to Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, who on Sunday welcomed a son named Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.

Bristol is currently residing in Wasilla and completing her high-school diploma through correspondence courses. Levi is studying to become an electrician.

And, with that, hopefully we can now close the book on all Palins everywhere and never have to talk about this family ever again.

Levi Johnston has a “Bristol” tat on his ring finger.

I mean, a little white trashy, but in that endearing white trashy sort of way.