“The only time it will ever affect you in bed is if you have extremely low blood sugar and you go into insulin shock, at which point you won’t be standing up, let alone performing sex. However, I will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It’s like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman.”

I’d actually like to rename this “Quotables” as “Information We Never Needed To Know.”  Anyway, these are the brilliant words of Poison’s Bret Michaels, talking to Elle about how he’ll completely jeopardize his health in order to get laid.

Oh, and since were talking about Bret Michaels, and I make it a habit to not do that too often, his rep released a statement about his injury, which did include a broken nose, at the Tony Awards the other night:

“With all due respect to everyone working the Tony Awards, somewhere down the line there was a lack of communication and the prop should have been immediately halted until Michaels was clear. Sunday morning at rehearsals, Bret was never informed that the descending set piece existed, let alone would be moving into position as he was exiting the stage.

I find it surprising that a Tony spokesperson would brush off this incident with a comment stating, Mr. Michaels missed his mark,’ with no mention of concern for his condition.If everyone at the Tonys were aware that Bret missed his mark, then they should have been aware enough to stop the set piece from hitting him or at least slowed it down until he cleared the stage. I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minneli, Dolly Parton or Elton John, the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern.”

So there you have it.  Bret Michaels is a sexually active idiot with a broken nose.

I don’t know what’s more shocking:  the video of Bret Michaels getting leveled by a piece of stage equipment at the Tony Awards, or the fact that Bret Michaels and his Poison bandmates were invited to perform at the Tony Awards.  Both scenarios are pretty astounding.

Michaels was injured but didn’t break his nose as was originally reported.  Personally, I think it was God’s way of trying to get his attention.  When you get taken down by a metal curtain, that’s just His way of saying, “End these interminable seasons of Rock of Love!” 

One thought just keeps haunting me:  If Heather Graham had just flown to the awards to protect Bret, this never would have happened.

Check out Bret Michaels on Ellen.

Bret Michaels, meet the cast of Rock of Love 2.

Cast of Rock of Love 2, meet Bret Michael’s penis.

Seriously there is a gerbil in those pants suffocating right now.

Maybe two gerbils.

Fresh from my inbox:

Over 3.9 million total viewers tuned into the “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels” reunion special this past Sunday night (10/7) to learn that Bret’s love match was a mismatch. VH1 will continue to help Bret find his ‘rose’ and announces today that a second season of the record-breaking series will premiere on VH1 in early 2008.

After handing in her VIP pass, Jes, the pink-haired beauty proved she was not fit to handle Bret Michaels’ rock-star lifestyle. But the tour continues on and the Poison frontman is searching again for someone to ‘rock his world.’ The second season will feature 20 new women pining for Bret’s heart.

Too funny. Last night I got momentarily obsessed with finding out if Bret Michaels was still dating Rock of Love winner Jes Rickleff. I spent like an hour searching through everyone’s MySpace pages to find out. And this morning, Page Six runs this:

REALITY TV-show relationships don’t last long, especially at VH1. In fact, “Rock of Love” star Brett Michaels never even got started with the “girlfriend” he selected last season, Jes Rickleff. Sources tell The Post’s Melissa Jane Kronfeld that Michaels was informed by the pink-haired punk rocker over the phone that she had taken up with a Chicago clothing designer upon returning home to the windy city. VH1 has renewed “Rock of Love” for a second season, but has not announced if Michaels will be its heartthrob.

In fact, Jes’s MySpace page does indicate she is “In a Relationship.” It also seems to have quite a bit of promotion for Chii Clothing, which I’m going to guess is her boyfriend’s line.

I also found this on Heather’s blog, regarding the finale, and found it interesting:

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST—I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT–AS IF THE STIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)–OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN.
I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THE TRUTH.