Brooke Shields is heading to the big screen and let me tell you, this is going to be a good movie.  When I say “a good movie” I mean “a funny movie.”  And when I mean “a funny movie” what I really mean is “sooooo damn funny that such a piss-poor movie was ever produced.”  Even the title is bad.

Brooke has signed on to costar with Brendan Fraser in a movie called Furry Vengeance and no, it’s not porn.  As if the mere presence of Brendan Fraser wasn’t synonymous with box office gold, check out this plot:  Fraser’s character goes to battle with a gang of raccoons when he infringes on their territory.  The raccoons get mad and start plotting against him.  Oh, the hilarity!

When we get a release date on this flick, you’ll probably want to start advance ordering your tickets to avoid standing in the lines that are guaranteed to wend around the corner of your local theater.

At the Dubai Film Festival.

I didn’t even realize he was married. I don’t really care.

Brendan and his wife, Afton Smith, are divorcing after nine years of marriage. The couple have three children, one of whom is named Holden, and seriously if this guy named his kid after the Catcher in the Rye dude I just lost all respect for him. What a phony.

“They continue to maintain a close and caring friendship,” the actor’s publicist said in a statement.