• Is Ivanka Trump dating Lance Armstong? Probably not, but there’s video of her refusing to answer questions about him, which is kind of like dating, right?
• Were you totally psyched for the remake of Revenge of the Nerds? Don’t be. They cast Kristin Cavallari in it. Bitch ruins everything.
• Britney Spears wants Annie Leibovitz to handle the publicity photos of her latest emotional crutch, Sutton Pierce.
• People who can’t get into Hyde this week: Brandon Davis, Chyna, you.
• ScoJo totally had a nose job.
• It’s official. The Tori Spelling demon spawn is en route. Quick! To the storm shelters!
• Shocker of shockers! Mel Gibson’s post-arrest anti-Semitic comments were not an isolated incident.
• 90210’s Jennie Garth pops out another adorable kid.

• Kari Ann Peniche(’s publicist) finally breaks her day-long silence about the abrupt and predictable end to her week-long engagement to Aaron Carter.

• Brandon Davis gets in his second fight this week. I think he and Jason Wahler have an agreement to alternate days.

• Would you like to see a (tragically, censored) video of Steve-O urinating on his own red carpet? You’re in luck!

• Paris Hilton is formally charged with that DUI she picked up earlier this month. The maximum sentence is six months in jail, so keep your fingers crossed.

• The new Killers album is available for streaming on The Leak.

• NBC has complete episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Heroes available on its website. Not to be outdone, ABC has most of its primetime lineup available online, too. See, folks? Desperate Housewives may not be funny anymore, but boy oh boy is it ever accessible!

Not much today, kids. Not much at all.

• Gawker’s backstage reporting from the VMAs is worth a read.
• Remember when Ben Affleck was cool? And when he was in a movie, people wanted to see it? Yeah. Not so much now.
• You know how you can tell it’s a really slow news day? Pictures of Jamie-Lynn Spears.
• Ashlee Simpson may or may not be dating Pete Wentz. “Who is Pete Wentz?” exclaims America.
• Pre-VMA report from Page Six: Ryan Seacreast hanging with his gays; Jason Wahler makes Lauren Conrad cry; Brandon Davis may (shhhh) be on drugs.