Because Brad Pitt may get old, but photos of this family never, ever will. There have been a ton of photos of Brad, Angie and Maddox wandering around Manhattan lately, but none of the other kids. I wonder where they’re hiding.

Also: Angelina is a toothpick. I mean, she’s really just skin and bones.

I’d been hesitant about it for awhile, but I’m ready to say it now: there’s something really wrong with her. There’s an eating disorder or there’s a drug problem or both. She’s not okay.

And I’m sad, too!

If Brad Pitt can get old, anyone can get old.

Pitt, 43, spoke recently to Details magazine about being over the hill. (And they airbrushed the hell out of him on the cover. They may as well have just photographed the figure of him at Madame Tussaud’s.)

“One thing sucks,” he says. “Your face kind of goes. Your body’s not quite working the same.”

And it wouldn’t be an interview these days without a discussion of The World’s Most Important Person. “This Paris Hilton quest for fame … she’s blissfully oblivious,” he laughs, recalling how he and Jolie had been traveling for a month and turned on the TV. “And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.”

You know, Brad, when your lovely life partner was Paris Hilton’s age, she was wearing Billy Bob Thornton’s blood in a vial around her neck and talking to red carpet reporters about how they’d just fucked in the limo. That was years before she was the humanitarian husband-stealer she’s become today. I’m just saying. For all you know, in a few years, Paris Hilton will be married to a Nobel Prize winner and distributing AIDS medications in the Congo as a Goodwill Ambassador. You know? I’m just saying. And I can’t believe I’m standing up for Paris Hilton here, but Jesus Christ, Brad, your perfect fucking girlfriend used to be a perfect fucking headcase.

Bradley was spotted yesterday in Manhattan taking three of the four kiddos to a playground. He had Zahara, Pax and Maddox in tow.

How ridiculously cute is this?

The Jolie-Pitts are the best with these photo ops!

That girl is totally, like, the most badass two-year-old at the International Preschool in Prague.

It’s just that, you know, most two-year-olds like to wear shirts with kittens on them. Or puppies. Or a rainbow. Or Barney. Or something they can recognize. I really don’t think that Zahara’s in a position yet to appreciate the 1970s-British-heavy-metal coolness of her t-shirt. What do you think Brad tells her when she asks about what’s on her shirt?

And she is sooo adorable. Seriously, does Angelina have, like, a software program to help determine exactly how adorable a baby will be when she becomes a toddler? Or does spending that much time around the most beautiful couple in the world just make anyone hot?

Also, where’s Maddox in all this? Why doesn’t he have to go to school?

Ah, Tokyo. Where the bars close when you stop buying drinks, there’s a one-to-one ratio between humans and vending machines, and Brad Pitt, movie star extraordinaire, shows up in a huge Tag Heuer ad. Whaddya figure they paid him for this?

Have you ever wanted to go inside Shiloh’s world? Well now you can. Because US Weekly has that story covered. That’s a cute kid, and I’m pretty sure her eyes would be called “piercing” although that could be CGI.

Now, I don’t know what the story will be about, but I can only assume it will be something like what milk tastes like and how silly adults can be.

The less cute, and more alarming news, is that Brittany Murphy seems to be married to a con man. I hope someone alerts her.

I’m inclined to agree with Cord on this one; these folks stopped caring about the plots of these things sometime in early 2002. At this point they’re just kind of like “We are so goddamn hot we could spend 2 hours reciting nursery rhymes and, as long as we’re alternating between wearing Italian suits and nothing at all, people will see this movie, so let’s make it.” Stills for Oceans 13 below.