“Our seven-year-old rips it, man. He’s fantastic, so good. It’s really humiliating – but we’re really proud of him.”

Brad Pitt, talking to Hello! magazine about how he and Angelina are struggling to learn French, while Maddox is already nearly fluent.

They pick up languages so fast at that age!

Plus, research shows that learning a second language before the age of 12 makes it much easier to pick up additional languages later in life. This is why American schools need to mandate foreign language courses in elementary and middle schools, rather than waiting until high school to teach kids other languages! Get on the ball, America!

Hi guys. Right now, I feel like I just left a funeral, where I broke up with my boyfriend, and then the hearse ran over my dog. In reality, I just got back from seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which should just be called Horrible Emotional Trauma: The Movie. The running time of the film is 159 minutes. I was crying for about 150 of those minutes. And six of the remaining minutes I spent in the bathroom. So we’re looking at like three tear-less minutes there. And I’m not talking, like, a single poignant tear running down my cheek — I’m talking, like, sobbing my eyes out and wiping my face with the popcorn napkin. It was awful.

Plus I was with a guy friend who I think was just totally mortified to be seen with me, and appalled at the thought that anyone might mistakenly think that this blubbering shit-show was his girlfriend. It was all-around just awful. Awful, awful, awful. I thought I was going to see some cute little romantic flick with some tender moments and a shirtless Brad Pitt, but no. It was three straight hours of tugging at my heartstrings. No, that doesn’t do it justice. It doesn’t tug at your heartstrings. It systematically attaches your heartstrings to a fucking snow plow and then sends the whole mess down the side of a mountain. Horrible, horrible, horrible. The last time I cried that hard for that long they tried to put me in a psych ward. You think I’m joking. Seriously make sure you’re in stable emotional condition before seeing this film. It put my ass through the ringer. Still: better than seeing Valkyrie.

First George Clooney walks the red carpet sporting one, and now Brad Pitt?

Is this a new trend?

Please, God, no. Please no.

Brad and Angelina hit the red carpet looking fabulous (except for the moustache!) and very much in love at the LA premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

OMG, I’m excited for a lot of things about motherhood, but breastfeeding is definitely not one of them. I know it’s important and helps the kid get good nutrients and bond with the mother and stuff, but the thought of an unpredictable mini-person sucking on my nipples kind of makes me feel funny. Hey, do vegans breast-feed? Is Alicia Silverstone going to breast-feed her kids?

Okay, I just did some research, and it appears vegan moms have to breastfeed, because none of the grocery-store baby formulas are truly vegan. So, in some weird way, having your baby drink your breast milk is the only way to truly raise a vegan baby. Okay. So. Then, if I made cheese out of human breast milk, would it be vegan? Someone get Alicia on the phone. I may be onto an enormous untapped market. I mean, I know people have made breast milk cheese (example here, but it’s in French), but have they ever marketed it as vegan? See, mom? That MBA wasn’t for nothing after all.

What the fuck was I even writing this about?

Oh, yeah. Angelina Jolie said breast-feeding the twins sucked, and I believe her.

“It’s very hard,” the actress confessed on Britain’s morning show GMTV. “I stopped at three months, [it was] about as much as I could do.”

The actress, 33, who was in London promoting her film The Changeling with her partner Brad Pitt in tow and their four-month-old twins, Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline, said she even resorted to manuals on the subject.

“There’s this football hold – it’s a lot harder than it looks in the books,” she says in the prerecorded interview at her London hotel on Monday. “I did that a few times. I would take turns. It just takes a long time.”

The mom of six also revealed that it was while filming The Changeling that she became pregnant with the twins: “We decided to start trying in the beginning, and by the end I was.”

Look, if Angelina can’t do it, it is officially impossible. Because we all know that she is better at everything than anyone else.

You know what else is kind of sad? A few years ago, I would have been all like, “Oooh, I want to try to make babies for months and months with Brad Pitt.” But Brad’s lost a lot of his allure since he got with Angelina. He’s become less of Mr. Bradley Pitt and more of Mr. Angelina Jolie. I dunno. I think of him less as a sex symbol now. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s just something that occurred to me.

Brad and Angelina don’t appear “uncool” in the least as they arrive hand-in-hand for a private screening of The Changeling in London.

After the jump, find video footage of an interview Angelina did with BBC radio yesterday. I love how whenever people spend time in London they wind up with a hint of a British accent. It’s inescapable!

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After the huge success of Troy in 2004, Brad Pitt is teaming up once again with director George Miller to do a film adaptation of Homer’s other famous epic, The Odyssey.

However, the plan is not to pick up where Troy leaves off, the way the poems do, but rather to set The Odyssey in the future.

Interesting?

Or cheesy?

I guess we’ll find out.

Answer: Yes. I would rather see photos of Lindsay Lohan “breastfeeding” Samantha Ronson.

But, until that happy day, W magazine is preparing to release a 21-page spread of photos Brad Pitt took of Angelina Jolie letting those twins lick all up on her twins.

Hotness.