Image courtesy of US Weekly

I don’t know who played in the Superbowl yesterday. I don’t know who did the halftime show. I know that chips were on sale at my grocery store and that I didn’t have to deal with any of the annoying men in my life for 24 whole hours. So that’s my “Superbowl round-up” for ya. Hope you loved it.

I did, however, make sure to note one of the important things that came out of the whole event: Brad and Angie went to the game together and they brought their son Maddox, so I’m guessing that they still don’t hate each other. In fact, they were seen snuggling in the stands and laughing and being lovey-dovey and all that crap that couples do when they care about “making it work”. The two were there to support New Orleans, whose team I have been informed via this People Magazine piece was playing yesterday. Obviously the town is important to Brad and the couple has spent a lot of time there since hurricane Katrina rebuilding and donating money to the community.

Check out these photos of Angelina arriving in Miami yesterday to watch the big game with her man:

The Directors Guild handed out their awards last night in LA, but Brangelina seemed to be the focus of the night. The two seemed warm and friendly toward each other and when they weren’t together, they were chatting with friends and acting normal. Either they put on a really good show or all those break-up rumors are a bunch of bologna.

Also, who cares? They’re rich and hot. If they split it’s going to be like “Oh, well!” and then we get to watch them try and move on from each other.  That’s how this shit works. No matter what happens, it’s going to be really awesome and totally lame at the same time.

I should have Wordpress set to automatically post a generic “Brad and Angelina have not split up” article every 2 months. That seems to be the  shelf life the media has decided upon for their relationship. Every two months or so, like clockwork, they are rumored to be splitting up.

Mark it down on your iCal right now: on March 24th, Brad and Angelina will “split up” again.

I’m a little disappointed in the discretionary powers of the internet (as usual) considering that this time, the rumor was started by News of the World. News of the World is like the slutty cokehead in your high school gym class who slept with the football team in a misguided attempt to improve her self worth. When she tells you her parents bought her a Bugatti for her 16th birthday, but no one’s ever seen it because she just doesn’t like to drive in morning traffic, you shouldn’t believe her.

This time, News of the World alleged that the pair had met with a “high-powered attorney” (who they wouldn’t name) to iron out an agreement for the breakup that saw the couple retaining joint custody of their troop of Captain Planeteers and equally splitting their $300 Million fortune.

Every two months, rags like News of the World get bored and make up rumors like this one to get people who wouldn’t normally read their stories about half-man-half-bat boy to pay attention to their flotsam.

But you shouldn’t believe them.  Like I said, the cokehead does not have a Bugatti.

As you’ve probably heard by now, there was a 7.0 earthquake in Haiti earlier this week and Hollywood is coming out to show their support. It was announced today that the Hollywood Foreign Press has donated 100,000 dollars to the relief fund, and yesterday it was announced that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie cut a check for one million dollars to go toward the cause.

Statements from Angelina and Brad were published on People.com:

Angelina: “It is incredibly horrible to see a catastrophe of this size hit a people who have been suffering from extreme poverty, violence and unrest for so many decades.”

Brad: “We understand the first response is critical to serve the immediate needs of countless people who are now displaced from their homes, are suffering trauma, and most require urgent care.”

While it’s hard (OK, impossible) to donate on that level, there are ways that everyone can help. Right now if you text ‘HAITI’ to 90999, you can donate 10 dollars to the American Red Cross. The donation will be added to your cellphone bill (meaning you don’t have to worry about paying for it until your bill comes) and the service was set up by the U.S. State Department, so you know that it’s legit. Also, if you text “YELE” to 501501, you can donate $5 to Haiti native Wyclef Jean’s fund. You can check out Yele’s website here. Finally, American Airlines is offering free flights to Haiti for doctors and nurses who will be able to provide aid. If this is something that applies to you, you can call 212-697-9767 and sign up.

We talk about some pretty fun stuff over here, but it’s always important to keep in mind that there’s bigger news going on in the world than last night’s American Idol auditions.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie headed out last night and while Brad was polite as usual, Angelina couldn’t have looked less thrilled to have the cameras in her face. Her decision to keep her head down isn’t doing much for the rumors that the two are on the outs, but an old pro like Angelina has to know that by now. Either she doesn’t give a fuck what we think (very likely) or she doesn’t care to convince us otherwise (which is pretty much the same thing as the first one, but it says more about how she feels about her man.) Just the look on their faces says they’re bored though. I bet as soon as they were behind closed doors she was like “Why do you always have to smile?!” and he was like “Why do you always have to be so impossible?” and then she was like “Go shave that thing off your face. You look poor.”

I guess there comes a time in a celebrity’s life when he or she just has enough money.  Brad Pitt — and unrelated, but can we just take a moment to analyze Brangie’s body language in a photo taken last week? — obviously has reached that stage since he forfeited $5M to trick or treat with his kids on Halloween.

Pitt was offered five million bucks to appear at the Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates on October 31st and turned it down.  Well, according to the event’s organizer, Pitt actually accepted the offer but then ended up being a no show. “We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development & Investment Company.  But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why.”

Beyonce, Timbaland and Aerosmith are not yet rich enough — they all appeared and performed.

A publicist from Women’s Wear Daily sent me a very serious and earnest email today alerting me to the new Asprey jewelry collection with pieces that are designed by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  All the pieces, including a baby spoon that costs $525, have a snake motif.

And I’m sitting here in my living room looking at the pictures of this hellacious, hideous collection and all I can think is this:  ”The people at Asprey – one of the most world-renowned purveyors of fine jewelry – really thought it would be a good idea for the two most infamous cheaters to hook up on a movie set and ditch their spouses since Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (ironically, against the backdrop of Cleopatra … asp anyone?), to design a line of jewelry centered around snakes?  Snakes?  Snakes.