I thought we were in a recession…?

Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark will make it’s Broadway debut on February 18, 2010 at The Hilton Theater. The show is directed by Tony Award-winning Lion King director Julie Taymor and features music & lyrics by Bono and The Edge of U2 fame.

The production will cost a reported $40 million, making it the costliest Broadway production to date. Part of the enormous price tag stems from a massive cityscape set that includes skyscrapers for the web slinger’s acrobatics.

40 MILLION dollars? When I heard they were doing a Spidey musical I was like ‘meh’ but Bono rarely disappoints so maybe this’ll be the show that saves Broadway. The best part though is that title. Spiderman, Turn Off the Dark?! Everyime I say it aloud I see jazz hands on the edges of my vision.

For real, though – who the fuck is going to go watch a musical about Spiderman?

U2’s Bono is reportedly going to be The Godfather of Brangelina’s new twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline.

“They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they’ve become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono’s humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson.”

Apparently Angelina has also consulted with her former girl-flame Jenny Shimizu about being a godmother to the twinsies, but Brad has yet to give his consent. I don’t blame him! That’s kind of like Brad being like, “You know, Angelina, I think we should make Jennifer Aniston the godmother.” Angelina would freak out and vomit all over him, instead of in the toilet where she usually does it. Was that crossing a line? Eh.

I wish Bono was my godfather. I don’t even have godparents. That’s what I get for being Jewish. I got a fucking dreidl instead of Bono. That’s total bullshit.