Archive for the ‘Our Evil Cohorts’ Category

Headline of the Day

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

“HOUSE HEARING ON ‘WARMING OF THE PLANET’ CANCELED AFTER ICE STORM”

Take that Al Gore. Just kidding, I love the environment. I just find the irony of the situation a wee bit humerous.

Thanks Drudge Report.

In Progress: The MTV Firings

Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

The entire VH1 classics department got axed today, as did all staff producers at MTV2. It’s rumored that most of Affiliate Marketing & Sales won’t last the day. Brody Jenner? Still on TV. Life is not fair. We’ll keep you posted…

Rayanne Had a Baby!

Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

Sometimes I worry I have too much time on my hands, but then something happens to make me feel better about it. Like when the kids over at the Celebrity Baby Blog notice that the chick who played Rayanne on My So-Called Life had a baby. Her real name, die-hard fans will remember, is A.J. Langer, and the only reason this news made any paper at all is that she is married to Lord Charles Courtenay, the future Earl of Devon and proud owner of an even weirder spelling of Ms. Cox-Arquette’s first name. So goddamn tweaked-out Rayanne and her kid are going to move to a castle in England soon. What the fuck have you done lately, Claire Danes??

In order to make a boring story more interesting, I am going to let you guys guess what Rayanne opted to name her child. I promise it is one of the options below. Leave your guesses in the comments.

a) Szarah Muun
b) Wrebequah Starr
c) Joscelyn Skye
d) Putrishia Sohnnhn
e) Hgdsydfwode Jdkfysii Poopypants

Bad News at MTV

Monday, February 12th, 2007

It’s a rough day in Santa Monica, as MTV Networks this morning announced a round of layoffs which will eliminate around 250 staff positions. Names will be announced throughout the week, with some folks in very senior positions rumored to be on the chopping block. The cuts will impact all networks, including MTV, VH1, Nickelodeon, Spike and Comedy Central.

Tragically, there are no plans yet to fire Brody Jenner from ever being on television or near Lauren Conrad again.

Seriously, God Bless Our Advertisers

Sunday, February 11th, 2007

I rarely click on ads on this site. Click fraud and all that. But they are getting better and better. I just now saw one in the corner that said: “Got Herpes? Find Out Who Is Spreading STDs in Your Area.” I clicked it, because how do you not click that?, and was directed to YouGaveMeAnSTD.com. Here’s their overview:

Welcome to You Gave Me An STD.com. This is a site unlike any site out there. We are devoted to stopping the unnecessary spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Currently there are few options available to the sexually active community to help prevent the spread of diseases. Now there is another option YouGaveMeAnSTD.com.

YouGaveMeAnSTD.com is an online forum where people can tell of their past sexual encounters where they received an STD from a partner who wasn’t honest and upfront with them. As a visitor on our site you are able to search for these alleged infectors by name, city or state reducing your chances of being victimized. Remember the adage “learn from other peoples mistakes.”

This reminds me of our old friend here at The Beet, DontDateHimGirl.com, and how we nearly destroyed a young man’s future in casual, self-satisfying sexual misadventures by reporting on it. As I’d hate to risk doing that to someone else, I won’t call out my fave stories from this new site, but suffice it to say that it’s equally amusing.

You Should Be Paying Attention to the Ads on This Blog

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Because they’re regularly more entertaining than our writing. Thank you, Adbrite, for assisting my readership in developing and maintaining a drug habit. I love you guys. And to think, Google actually pulled their ads from this site because of gratuitous profanity. Those motherfuckers.

PS — I love you Google. Thank you for the free hosting. ;)

Larry Birkhead is Still Alive

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

Ok, well if that didn’t get your attention. I don’t know what I can contribute new to the Anna Nicole saga but here is a quote from Larry Birkhead.
According to his lawyer Debra Opri, Larry is

“inconsolable … he has lost the mother of his child and he has lost a woman he loved very much.”

He is also secretly excited that now he gets to prove that Dannielynn is his daughter and hopefully get some dough out of this whole mess.

I have to say RIP Anna. I fully enjoyed you, fat skinny and everywhere in between.

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