Well, let’s face it, if you’re in college, this whole site is a little study break. But we’re approaching midterm time, and a friend passed these on to me today. They’re not exactly celebrity gossip, but they made me laugh so hard that I had to post them here. Anyone who’s ever taken a college science class can appreciate this. Click to enlarge.

Despite yesterday’s late-breaking rumors that the national nightmare of Total Request Live had finally come to its cold-sweated end, MTV Prez Christina Norman says it’ll stick around. In a ridiculously long internal email (I mean, come on, Christina, there are MTV staffers. Next time: fewer words, more cocaine) she says that “TRL will air as always - and we’ll continue to bring our audience the celebs they love and special weeks like Spankin New and much more — but we will now operate more efficiently downstairs.” Ha. That last part sounds dirty. Mama’s got a new toy …

She also sheds some light on why I don’t care at all about MTV2:

“We’ve decided to consolidate the operations of MTV2 within MTV, and many of the hard-working production and development people of MTV2 will be leaving the organization. The MTV2 that you all know and love will still be there - packed 24 hours a day with the music and shows that its young male viewers love. I’m proud of all that the MTV2 team has contributed to its creative and ratings successes. They are leaving behind a great legacy and we are eternally grateful to them.”

Gotcha. They never wanted me to watch anyway.

So if you’re 13, you can breathe again. Vanessa Minnillo and that skinny white dude will stay on the box in your living room, so you have something to do after school other than homework, exercise or face-to-face socialization. Phew. That was scary for a minute.

It’s funny, see, because the girl falls down. Her name’s Jael. I don’t understand how she could be expected to support her own weight even under nominal circumstances. Her legs are like extended pinkies. New “cycle” (I hate myself each time I have to say that) starts Feb 28 on the CW.

I like to think that I’m sort of in the loop with, you know, television, and the networks which comprise it. At least in the U.S. You know, because it’s sort of my job and stuff. But it turns out there is a whole entire network that I have never heard of. It’s called “The N” and it’s owned by Viacom. Apparently it’s targeted toward younger kids. Does it even broadcast in L.A.? Because, um, their wikipedia page says they’re airing My So-Called Life reruns. How did I miss this?

Anyway, this lovely Angela Chase-friendly network was brought to my attention by one of my very favorite media folks, who wants me to plug some show on there called Instant Star. It features a girl named Alexz Johnson, who should probably quit acting and go back to school for awhile, at least until someone explains to her that the “x” sound actually includes the “z” sound. Whatever. Here’s the preview.

Today belongs to this beauty, James, and English Springer Spaniel that captured Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show held in New York City last night. Though Bill Cosby’s wonky looking dog was the favorite going into the compeition James came from behind and captured the crown.

Congrats James!

Sometimes I worry I have too much time on my hands, but then something happens to make me feel better about it. Like when the kids over at the Celebrity Baby Blog notice that the chick who played Rayanne on My So-Called Life had a baby. Her real name, die-hard fans will remember, is A.J. Langer, and the only reason this news made any paper at all is that she is married to Lord Charles Courtenay, the future Earl of Devon and proud owner of an even weirder spelling of Ms. Cox-Arquette’s first name. So goddamn tweaked-out Rayanne and her kid are going to move to a castle in England soon. What the fuck have you done lately, Claire Danes??

In order to make a boring story more interesting, I am going to let you guys guess what Rayanne opted to name her child. I promise it is one of the options below. Leave your guesses in the comments.

a) Szarah Muun
b) Wrebequah Starr
c) Joscelyn Skye
d) Putrishia Sohnnhn
e) Hgdsydfwode Jdkfysii Poopypants