Amy Winehouse has returned to the U.K just days after her beloved Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake was released from prison. As you may recall, Amy has pledges to mend her marriage with Blake despite blatantly cheating on him with another (much more attractive) man, but Blake’s Mummy, Georgette Civil, is not having it.

‘He feels very let down by his wife and he’s proceeding with a divorce,

‘Amy has behaved like a trollop. Since his release there has been no contact.

‘Blake realised the marriage was doomed some time ago and I don’t believe Amy will get round him now.

‘I never want him to go back to her. It would be bad news. He’s divorcing her because she cheated on him and the sooner the marriage is over the better.’

Trollop, eh? That’s strong words coming from the mother of a man that singlehandly hooked a promising young performer on the hard stuff. It’s not as though he’s exactly blameless in the situation. I’m not sure why Amy is so bent on saving this crapfest in the first place – especially after she said this:

In an interview last month, Amy admitted she had ‘forgotten’ she was even married.

She said: ‘Our whole marriage was based on drugs anyway. He looks like me – a right mess. Almost every time I slept with him it was like I was dead.’

This is not going to end until one of them is dead. They’re like star crossed lovers, or they would be if Romeo and Juliet had been drug-addled, disillusioned, underweight, media whores with an acute aversion to bathing.

Oooh, it’s gonna get ugly.

Blake Civil-Fielder has instructed his attorney to begin divorce proceedings after Amy Winehouse went public with her relationship with a new man.

The couple do not have a pre-nup, and, considering that Amy’s adultery is well-documented, it’s possible that Blake will walk away with half of Amy’s money. Well, whatever amount of it she hasn’t put up her nose already.

This is going to be fun.

Hey, you guys, remember when I wrote about how Blake was all like “I’m breaking up with Amy to save her life! She’s better without me! I want nothing but for her to be happy!” and I was all like “This guy is soooo full of shit and neither of these two people is capable of actual love right now” and you guys ripped me a new asshole in the comments and you were all like “Oh why are you so cold-hearted to believe he can’t just love her?”

Yeah, guys.

I’m not cold-hearted. I’ve just seen this shit way too many times. Blake will love the millions of dollars he takes from her in a messy, bitter divorce battle far more than he ever loved Amy. And none of it will ever compare to how much he loves drugs.

So sad. And, yet, so very, very predictable.

Blake Civil-Fielder has failed a drug test, and sobriety was a part of his early release agreement, so he’s going back to the slammer, possibly until 2010. Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse — who’s currently in the hospital herself — has begun divorce proceedings.

A source said: “Blake did a runner. He turned up in hospital and hell broke loose — everyone was totally shocked.

“He was asking Amy to forgive him. As he was going back inside anyway he felt he didn’t have much to lose.”

Fielder-Civil, who had been at Live Works rehab in Woking, Surrey, planned to hand himself in to cops after an evening with her.

A source said: “If he had stayed in prison last month rather than taking the rehab option he was set to be released at the end of this month. He’s blown it.”

Jesus Christ. This relationship is such a shit-show. If they both get through the next year alive, I’ll be impressed.

In an interview with News of the World, Blake Civil-Fielder admits (from rehab) that he’s the reason Amy got hooked on crack and heroin, and that he plans to stay out of her life in the future because he feels it’s the best thing he can do for her. Blake gets out of rehab at the end of this year.

“The first time Amy took crack she asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that’,” he said. “Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some. I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.”

Blake talked about the first time he saw Amy have a seizure from a drug overdose. “I knew fucking then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life,” he said. And as for his prison stay? “I just couldn’t believe that after our wonderful marriage — the happiest day of my life — we were going to be torn apart. I felt inadequate. I felt unworthy of Amy. I felt that she should be with some other pop star or film star. Not be with some little chav from Camden. I cut my arms after we fell out over doing too much drugs and losing sight of ourselves. Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and fucked up over our love — like Romeo and Juliet — she cut her arms too. I had to get her stitched up.”

And as for their future together?

“There are still reasons that Amy and I don’t like to be sober and if I go back to her I am basically saying, ‘It’s all right to kill yourself Amy’. Even if I was strong enough to resist drugs — and I’m not — it’s a ticking timebomb. I accept that there is every horrible, horrible chance that I could be tempted to take drugs again if I went back to Amy … My fantasy is that one day fate might bring us back together when Amy is clean. In an ideal world me and Amy would live together in a nice house with our two kids and all of this would be a distant fucking memory. That would be my dream … What people don’t realise is that Amy is an amazing wife, an amazing home-maker and a beautiful figure in the home. You would be surprised the domestic bliss you can have with Amy just doing the cooking and caring for you. But because of drugs we can’t have a normal life together. That’s why I have to let her go.”

OMG. This guy sounds like such a drama queen. How can you have a normal relationship with somebody who’s this intense all the time? On the flip side, though, it does seem like he cares for Amy a great deal, and is trying to help the both of them to get and stay sober, which is admirable.

You can hear some audio clips from the interview here or read more of it here.