So, the title for Beyonce’s upcoming double album is I Am … Sasha Fierce. She’s released a statement explaining why:

“I have someone else that takes over when it’s time for me to work and when I’m on stage, this alter ego that I’ve created that kind of protects me and who I really am … Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I’m working and when I’m on the stage.”

Who the hell would choose the name Sasha as a stage name?

That’s a name for strippers and dogs.

Outside TRL on Tuesday.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been impressed by Beyonce, but this new single and video are actually blowing my mind. I love it. It’s a reminder of why we fell in love with Beyonce in the first place. Very raw and sexy in a way only B can pull off.

She also released a video for her other new single, “If I Were a Boy.” While I applaud her awareness of the subjunctive mood, this one isn’t really doing much for me.

Beyonce was inducted into the International Pediatric Hall of Fame at the Miami Children’s Hospital Foundation Diamond Ball and Private Concert this weekend.  I support famous people who use their celebrity for charitable organizations and the greater good.  However…

You’ve never seen so much off the rack acetate crap in your life.  Looking at these pictures makes me feel like I’m at the prom of hell.  Someone get me a bucket of pigs’ blood STAT.

Highlights include:  Beyonce’s mother/stylist hates her, Smokey Robinson bursts out crying when he realizes he’s wearing a sequinned cumberbund, in a twist of irony Gloria Gaynor looks like a movie theater sized box of Good and Plenty,  Gloria Estefan appears robust and various other synthetic material tragedies.

Congratulations to Beyonce and Jay-Z, who tied the knot on Friday night at a loft in TriBeCa.

It’s about time! I hope you crazy kids can make it last.

Does this mean a Beyonce baby is soon to come?

I’d look like that, too, if my brand were called Dereon.

I guess the name is a throw-back to Beyonce’s grandmother, whose last name was Dereon, but even still.

It doesn’t make me think of fashion. It makes me think, of, like, vaginal creams. “Itchy in that place? Try Dereon and carry on!”

And, yeah, I know it looks like the Fight Club posters, but that’s really the least of the problems with this ad.

The America’s Next Top Model winner showed up at the Grand Opening of Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club At The Palazzo Hotel in Vegas last night.

She looks like she’s going to prom!

Pregnant!!!

This is NOT a fat girl. This is a baaaaaaad dress.

Also there: Beyonce Knowles, wearing those shoes that are all the rage lately. They make me want to die. It looks like she broke her foot, and this is the fancy high-tech cast they made for her.