[Disclaimer: Before you get mad at me for "taking sides" in any form of voting that will not take place on a reality TV show, please read this.]

We’ve mentioned previously that the Hilton camp can’t be particularly thrilled that they donated money to the McCain campaign, only to see Barack Obama unfavorably compared to Paris in his most recent campaign ad.

Now comes confirmation from a flurry of political blogs.

I hear whispers from the inner campaign staff that the phone was burning off the hook today with calls from Paris Hilton’s grandfather, William Barron Hilton (co-chair of the Hilton Hotel empire), furious that the McCain ad drew an unflattering comparison between Obama and his own granddaughter.

It seems that the elder Hilton has donated $18,400 to the McCain campaign, and $35,000 to the National Republican Senatorial Committee in the last couple of years. (Paris’s father, Rick Hilton, has given an additional $6,900 to the McCain campaign. Suffice it to say, he’s none too pleased either.)

Apparently, the elder Hiltons had breathed a sigh of relief that Paris was starting to get her act together since hitting rock bottom with her stay in jail last year, when all of a sudden the McCain ad compares her unfavorably to Britney Spears and Barack Obama.

I suspect that heads will roll at the McCain headquarters – if not within the staff, then I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve Schmidt starts looking for a new consulting firm for the next round of ads. This is a reminder to my brethren at the Campaign: don’t bite the hand that feeds us.

Paris Hilton isn’t just a tabloid tart to be tossed around willy-nilly. She’s the living brand name of one of America’s most successful global corporations. It’s no wonder her grandfather’s upset: every time Paris is in the news, fewer people stay at their hotels. Try explaining that to The Blackstone Group – the hedge fund firm that bought into Hilton Hotels last year. Blackstone chairman Peter G. Peterson gave $30,800 to the McCain campaign this year. Guess who also called the campaign today?

Do you hear that, America? Paris Hilton may stand for being tossed around willy-nilly, as long as she’s drunk, naked and being filmed by a millionaire playboy, but under any other circumstances it is totally inappropriate.

Britney Spears, however?

You can do whatever you want to her. I mean, what are you gonna do, force Jamie Spears’ catering business into the ground? Oh, right, he already had to quit that to become a full-time parent to his 26-year-old daughter.

So little Barron Hilton’s not doing jail time for his first DUI (hopefully of many!), but he’ll have three years probation, which gives him three full years to potentially violate probation and end up in the slammer, Paris-style.

He also loses his license for a year and will have to attend three months of alcohol education classes.

You know, one of my friends in Arizona is currently in the midst of taking those alcohol education classes for her DUI. It was her second DUI, and she did two weeks in Sheriff Joe’s Tent City and then promptly quit drinking completely and began attending AA meetings, which are completely different from those “alcohol education” classes. And she lost her drivers license, so I was driving her to one of her alcohol education classes the other day, and she was like, “You know what these alcohol classes do for me? They make me want to drink. I like the AA meetings, they make me feel better, but then it all gets undone when I have to go to the alcohol education classes for eight fucking hours. It just reminds me of why I drink in the first place.” I thought that was hilarious.

Four misdemeanor counts were filed in total, which include driving while having a .08 percent or higher blood-alcohol level, and unlawful use of a license (he had a fake I.D., sheriffs confirmed).

Hilton’s arraignment is set for April 14. He faces a maximum penalty of six months in jail for each count.

Oh, please, please, please let this kid do two years in the slammer. I know it’ll never happen, but I can hope, right?

Check out the video of Barron Hilton’s release from jail last night.

No word on who posted bail. Barron left through a side entrance, shielded by a jacket, and was driven away in a GMC Acadia by three peers:— two girls and one boy.

Parents Kathy and Rick Hilton were not seen.

Barron will be arraigned on April 14 in Malibu. And because he was charged with a felony (possessing a fake California license), he’ll have to be there. He could possibly face jail time.

WOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

Update: It seems like Barron’s bail was posted by his friends, after he begged his sister Paris for the bail money and she told him that he had to learn his lesson. His buddies showed up at the jail with $2000, assuming the Sheriff would take the 10%, but unfortunately only a bail bondsman does that. So they went to find a bail bondsman, paid him the $2000, and returned to the jail to retrieve Barron.

Dayum! I should have thought to do that.

Ah, the fabulous lives of the Hilton children.

An additional count has been added to Barron’s recent arrest: using a fake California drivers license.

His bail’s been raised to $20K, which, as I understand it, his parents are still refusing to pay.

NO MERCY!

In the Malibu jail, that is.

It appears his parents are refusing to post the $5000 bail for the 18-year-old just yet.

“They donÂ’t want to put up with this stuff anymore,” a source told E!’s Marc Malkin.

This is just the first of many, if God loves me as much as I think He does.

Says Papa Hilton: “I haven’t been contacted yet by either my son or the police. If what I have heard is true, it is very disturbing and I will have a lot to say — but it will be to my son, not the media.”

Paris’s comment: “I am sad for my little brother. I hear he is doing OK. I am there for him and will be speaking to him in an hour or so, hopefully, to lend my support.”

Give the whole Hilton fortune to Nicky!

Paris Hilton’s 18-year-old brother, Barron, was pulled over at 8:30 this morning on suspicion of DUI.

He was booked at the Lost Hills sheriff station and is currently being held on $5000 bail.

Do you know how much cocaine you have to do to still be driving around drunk at 8:30 am?

Just put the whole damn family in rehab.

While Britney was in the hospital last night, Paris Hilton and her brother Barron were partying the night away at Teddy’s in Hollywood.

There were cameras somewhere other than Cedars-Sinai last night????

When Paris was grilled about Britney, she said she is “hoping she will get better, get some help and do better in 2008.”

It’s official: Paris Hilton has aged the fuck out.

You wanna know how I know this?

Her kid brother’s finally showing up on Page Six. Everyone’s ready to move on.

Barron Hilton, 16, is dating Skye Peters, also 16, the daughter of “Superman Returns” producer Jon Peters and his ex, Christine Peters. On Friday, the two holed up at the Bel Air Hotel and “something happened,” said a friend of Jon’s, as “police were called.” A rep for Jon reached the producer at his Santa Barbara ranch and told Page Six: “Jon has responded that he will be looking into the purported relationship, and why Christine is allowing their youngest daughter to spend nights out.” Jon and Christine are in a protracted legal battle, which last week resulted in her eviction from the Bel Air home the couple once shared.

Oh, man.

Messy divorce + Hilton son = FUN

I’m so excited for this new crop of fuck-up celeb kids!!!!

(Pictured above is Skye with her older sister, Caleigh, who recently dumped Sean Stewart.)