Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.

And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.

OMG.

Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.

Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

Seriously?

And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.

Bennifer II — that is, Ben Affleck and Jen Garner, hosted a fundraising event for Barack Obama on Sunday in Ben’s home town of Boston.

Affleck said he and his wife were just doing “their part for society,” which isn’t at all heavy-handed and obnoxious, but whatever.

You know, sometimes Ben Affleck annoys the fuck out of me, but I’ll tell you what I do like about him: he’s a rehab success story. After being a total drunkie for awhile, he got his ass to rehab, cleaned up, and stayed the fuck sober. And now he’s all involved in politics and shit. Which is, you know, annoying, but, still. Good for him. I’m really waiting for Lindsay Lohan to pull this shit. She’s a smart girl, and I can just see her, somewhere along the line, being all sober and preaching politics to us. It’ll be annoying, too, but in a really cute way.

Si, se puede!

Okay, I admit it: this is good.

How can you not vote for the dude? Come on, Tatyana Ali’s singing about him!

Ya know, Oprah and Obama makes me think of that schtick David Letterman used when he was hosting the Oscars. Remember that? “Oprah, Uma. Uma, Oprah.” You could just as easily stick “Obama” in that joke; it’s equally funny.

Anyway.

This is interesting.

One in three New Hampshire women between the ages of 18 and 29 said the talk-show queen’s recent campaign appearances with Barack Obama made them less likely to vote for the Illinois Democrat, according to a poll released yesterday by Zogby International and Lifetime Television.

At the other end of the age spectrum, 17 percent of women over 65 said Oprah’s support lowered their opinions of Obama.

And 73 percent of women said it made no difference to their campaign choices at all.

Voters don’t want “to have their entertainment figures involved in political support,” Fritz Wenzel, director of communications at Zogby International, told the Chicago Sun-Times.

In fairness, these statistics don’t address that all-important demo of women between 29 and 65, and the 73% figure isn’t qualified (which demo does it apply to?), and, with women 18-29, how did the remaining 2/3 respond? You always have to look at stats like this with a critical eye. I’d be interested in seeing the raw data. I checked the Zogby site for it, but couldn’t track it down. Anyone have any thoughts on where I might find it?

I guess he’s a British racecar driver, but every time I see this guy’s picture, I’m just like, “Quick, someone give him an American flag and hire him to strip at bachelorette parties!”

How amazing does she look?

Absolutely radiant!

Jeri made an appearance at the Westwood premiere of Bee Movie on Sunday night, and she’s just glowing!

Jeri divorced politico Jack Ryan in 1999. (Remember that whole scandal? When the divorce papers were unsealed in 2004, they ruined Jack’s reputation — Jeri accused him of forcing her to perform sex acts in public and at strip clubs — and killed his Illinois Senate bid, which Barack Obama went on to win. The rest is history. So, basically, if America ends up electing its first black president in 2008, Jeri Ryan’s the one who deserves the thanks.)

She married Chef Christophe Émé in June of this year. She’s due in March 2008.

Congrats, Jeri!

Barack Obama + Drunk College Girls on St. Patty’s Day= Awesome

Dude. He is kind of hot.