There is no better way to start a Friday than with a fierce dose of Bai Ling.  As she joins the ranks of Jessica Biel and Lindsay Lohan as a member of the “Remind Me Again Why You’re Famous” club, let’s enjoy the rest of the marginally famous people who attended last night’s 37th Annual AFI Lifetime Achievement Awards.

A couple observations I’d like to share:  1)  The years and white zinfandel have not been kind to Kathleen Turner.  2)  The years and pills have not been kind to Melanie Griffith. 3)  I think it’s really nice that Christopher Lloyd brought his granddaughter to this event.  Except that’s his date.  4)  I think Matthew McConaughey got some free samples of Sevin Nyne and used them.  All at once.  5)  Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot.  Period.  6)  My life goal remains unfulfilled — just once, I want to see Eric McCormack look genuinely happy and not look like he’s doing me a big flipping favor by appearing on the red carpet.  And still, I wait.

Elton John’s yearly party is super exclusive and tough to get an invite to.  Having said that, I’m having a few “What the fuck,” moments.

What the fuck?  Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour are back together?

What the fuck?  What is that French’s Golden Mustard get-up Dita Von Teese wearing?

What the fuck?  Rachel Griffiths in head-to-toe grey flannel?  Is she fat or just pregnant?  Oh, she’s pregnant.  Still…that’s not right.

Bai Ling?  Just, what the fuck?

Ugh, I had more to say, but I looked at too many pictures of Posh and now I must sleep…can’t…keep…eyes…open.

America’s favorite transplanted headcase, Bai Ling, was arrested earlier this week for shoplifting at LAX.

Why did she need to steal $16 worth of celeb mags and batteries, you ask?

The stress of breaking up with her boyfriend right before Valentines Day.

The 37-year-old actress and scenester exclusively tells E! News that she split with her new boyfriend Wednesday before she was scheduled to fly from LAX to New Mexico to begin shooting a film, turning it into an “emotionally crazy” day for her.

She was dealing with the “huge problem of breaking up [before] Valentine’s Day” when she was arrested for shoplifting, Ling said, adding, simply, “Wrong boyfriend.”

Awww … so I guess the batteries were for her dildo.

Stop the presses!

Bai Ling has done something immature and stupid.

The actress was arrested yesterday at LAX for stealing $16 worth of goods from a gift shop — two tabloid magazines and batteries. She was placed under citizen’s arrest by a shop employee. Can you still do that? Make a citizen’s arrest? I need to start incorporating that into my daily routine. Wake up, shower, have a muffin, make a citizen’s arrest.

A “cooperative but crying” Bai was taken by Airport Police to the station, where she was booked for theft.

It’s a bird!

It’s a plane!

It’s …

Melissa Joan Hart?

She’s huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge!