Everyone at this LA premiere was dressed like the ’80s came back and they were angry. Ahem.

Audrina Patridge: FAIL. I’m itchy and hot just looking at that get-up.

Michelle Rodriguez: GIANT FAIL. She looks like she rolled out of bed and went to try on prom dresses at Forever 21.

Zoe Saldana: It’s like Tonya Harding got a hold of a perfectly nice dress and asked herself how she could add a little more “white trash” to it. Haaaate it so much, but Zoe’s so damn beautiful she can get away with almost anything. Almost.

Rachel J. Lee, a 19 year old from Calabasas, CA, along with several of her girlfriends, has been arrested for breaking in to and then looting the closets of several celebrity homes in the past year. Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge, Paris Hilton , Orlando Bloom and Kourtney Kardashian have all had similar break-ins occur at their houses– there were no electronics stolen (which is usually the first thing a burglar would grab), mainly clothing, jewelry and handbags. Not exactly the most lucrative loot jobs, basically.

This isn’t the first time Lee’s been motivated to break the law for vanity sake either. A couple years ago she was caught shoplifting from Sephora. OK, so that’s a little different than finding someone’s home via star maps and the internet and then checking their appearance schedule to best guess what time they’d be out of the house and then breaking in and stealing all their clothes, but there’s a theme here. Also, it probably doesn’t do Rachel a whole lot of good that she’s high school pals with the man formally charged with the Lohan and Patridge burglaries.

It kinda makes me sad to think about these girls so desperate to dress like a celebrity that they actually steal their clothing. The materialism disgusts me. What’s wrong with some $24 shoes from T.J. Maxx and a Hanes v-neck and the jeans with the tiny hole ripped in the ass because you’ve had them for so long? These girls are 18 and 19 years old, they should be running around topless, celebrating their young bodies and free minds. But no! They’re taking the easy way out and breaking in to multi-million dollar homes owned by celebrities they admire and stealing their t-shirts and headbands. Teenagers are so bad these days, you guys. I can’t handle it. They should be at the beach.

“I almost felt like it was unfair for [MTV] to come into our lives at such a young age and sort of mess with things. I don’t regret it, but I was 17 — of course I wanted to be on TV. I felt like they should have been a little bit more careful with us.”

Kristin Cavallari talks to the LA Times with the most useful thing to come out of her mouth since John Mayer’s penis. (What? Sure, he’s a jackass, but from what I hear his penis is very useful.)

As Molls mentioned earlier today, the ubiquitously hated Kristin takes over as the star of The Hills tonight. Unlike Molls, I’m not a Kristin Cavallari fan (and I think she planted those John Mayer rumors herself). That said, I will probably watch The Hills tonight for the first time in years, just to watch Audrina in a huff over whatever dumb, fake shit Kristin does. Because in the battle of annoyingness, Audrina is actually beating Kristin these days in my mind. And plus, have you seen the trailer? (It’s above.)

Something tells me this show’s gonna see killer ratings tonight. And that is going to PISS OFF Miz Lauren Conrad. I can’t wait for her statement about how she’s very happy the show is so successful without her but she’s really sad for Kristin that she has to be such a bitch all the time to stay famous. It’s coming, believe it.

Courtesy of TMZ.com

The Hills star Audrina Patridge has a stalker just like every other woman in the spotlight. However, unlike most stalkers, Patridge’s leaves her art. Very, very funny art.

Back in August a man arrived to Audrina’s pad, claiming he was there to deliver wine. Instead of hooking Patridge up with some free booze-drinks, the man handed her a stack of mementos, including photos, poems and sketches he had drawn. While the sketches make me giggle (check out the full gallery here), Patridge reported that one of the photos was of a woman being strangled. Addtionally, some of the postcards that were in the stack were dated, but for September 15th. At the time of that encounter, we were talking three weeks in the future. Maybe he’s a time traveller? AWESOME!

OK, while someone as pathetic as me might live for the day a time travelling stalker would come a’knockin’ on my door, Patridge and her “team” seem to be on high alert because of the pre-dated love letters. In fact, they seem to think that could be the day that the stalker will come back. Fine, maybe that is pretty scary. There are definitely some not-so-funny aspects of this story and I truly hope that Miss Patridge is OK, but you would think that at this point homegirl would have figured out a safer, more secure way of delivering her packages and/or letting people on her property.

When it comes to Audrina’s fame, I’m at a loss.  But she’s got a hot bod and is willing to pose in the most cliched scenarios — licking a berry, straddling the washing machine during the spin cycle, eating cake like a bad girl — so, you know, enjoy.  

She’s in October’s Maxim and didn’t say one thing that was interesting enough to repeat.  I’m sure she talked about her new movie Sorority Row, but we don’t care about that — do we?  Some girls don’t need to give the insightful interview.  They just need to grab their garden hose and pose.  Audrina is one of those girls.

Let me just deliver the news straight up:  Audrina Patridge is leaving The Hills.  She wants to focus on her movie career.  I really thought Audrina already left the show.  And I really thought The Hills was already over.  I was wrong on both counts; it must have just been a fantasy.

“I’m almost done with The Hills. We’re in the middle of finishing these episodes, and I’ll be leaving then,” she revealed at a junket for her new thriller Sorority Row Sunday in Los Angeles.

“It feels like I’m graduating,” she added. “I’m taking the next step and growing up and maturing and moving on in my life.”

The 24-year-old Patridge — who is developing her own reality show with Survivor producer Mark Burnett – said she would like to pursue acting.

“I moved to Los Angeles to be an actress, and before I got onto The Hills, I was going to auditions and castings and working full-time at [film studios] Quixote Studios and Smashbox,” she told reporters.

She credited The Hills with helping her be “comfortable in front of the cameras.”

Added Patridge, “I feel like it’s helped me a lot going to auditions and sitting in front of the camera… blocking the camera out and just getting into character.”

The good news is that we’ll all be able to observe Audrina’s “movie career” when her new movie Sorority Row premieres on September 11th. Proff that that date really is destined to be assigned to catastrophic disasters in history.

Look you guys, it’s Lindsay Lohan Audrina Fucking Patridge posing for the new issue of Nylon magazine. The accompanying “article” is basically all light stuff like: “blah blah blah my acting blah blah blah my movie blah blah blah” and then they drop the real bomb: Mark Burnett is still signed on to produce a reality show around Audrina. Just Audrina. I can’t wrap my mind around this. Mark Burnett is serious business. Everything he touches turns to television gold. Why, why, why choose Audrina? Do we really need her to be a bigger star than she already is? Remember, this is the young woman who started out as LC’s awkward friend who worked at the record label and nodded and smiled and nervously agreed with everything LC said and was only marginally interesting in the sense that her eyes were really fucking weird.

Make this stop, God. A world where we’re making this young woman a mega-star is not any “reality” I want a part of. Please. There must be some bargaining room here. Can we give Justin Bobby his own show instead? I would even settle for that.