Thanks Beth!

I used it up on Kelly Osbourne.

I had no idea I’d have the opportunity to use it on Aubrey O’Day.

I would have waited, if I’d known.

Actually, this dog looks a lot like the one in the Kelly Osbourne pic.

Apparently this is a photo of the dog being passed around Fashion Week for everyone to use.

There’s also a white puppy in it.

Ba-dum-bum-ching!

I am UNSTOPPABLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Ooh, Lindsay, work it, girl!

La Lohan hit up a Stand Up for the Cure event in NYC. It doesn’t look like Samantha was there … but Dina was. Ick. I like Samantha WAY better than Dina as a date for Lindsers.

Also there: Jessica Szohr, Aubrey O’Day, Bethenny Frankel, and Julianna Margulies and her ridiculously hot, young lawyer husband. I want to perform open-pants surgery on him.

… several of the Danity Kane girls, talking about their group breaking up soon, because Aubrey O’Day is “fucking everything up.”

Aubrey’s actually in this photo, taken yesterday.

She’s the one hiding behind the scary clown.

Thanks to Lindsay and Samantha (with an assist by Tila and Courtenay), being gay is like the hottest new accessory for women this season. Lesbianism is the new small dog.

Enter Z-listers Aubrey O’Day and Lydia Hearst, sucking face outside Butter in NYC last night.

I’m sure this is totally true love. But I’d know for sure if they’d write it on their T-shirts.

Here’s a first look at Aubrey O’Day playing the role she was born to play: the snotty, bratty Amber Von Tussle in Hairspray on Broadway.

Eh, it actually looks like she does a decent job in the role.

Who’d've thunk it?

Um, remember when Broadway was a haven of respecting thespian professionals and not a place for reality TV stars to chill out when they don’t become the next pop phenomenon?

Yeah.

Aubrey Fucking O’Day will be appearing in Broadway’s production of Hairspray starting July 18. She’ll play Amber Von Tussle, Tracy Turnblad’s arch-nemesis.

Now, I’m not saying Aubrey O’Day’s not qualified to play an annoying little brat, but seriously? Aubrey O’Day on Broadway? Next thing you know Britney Spears will be taking on the role of Lady MacBeth with the Royal Shakespeare Company.

I’ve always had this theory I wanted to try out. You know how there’s that far right lane on PCH that people can use as parking when it’s not rush hour? But then, when it’s rush hour, be it morning or evening, it is illegal to park there? And you know how people park there anyway? And it slows down traffic like all the way up to Oxnard? My theory is that we should make that a capital offense. Seriously when the cops see a car parked there during rush hour, they should not ticket it. They should hide behind it with a semi-automatic weapon, and then, when the culprit goes to drive away, they should shoot this person multiple times in the head until they’re good and dead. I think that would fix a lot of the traffic problem in Los Angeles.

Anyway, I’m wondering if we can apply the same theory to fashion. This dress? That Aubrey O’Day wore to Danity Kane’s album release party? Someone should die for this. We should find out who is responsible and murder that person. And maybe it would help clear up the fashion problem in LA.