Apparently Madonna isn’t adopting an African child so much as she’s kinda stealing one. Rule-bending in exchange for cash? In Malawi? [I'm Bringing Blogging Back]

Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley are going to hook up. On camera. I’m serious this time. [Pop on the Pop]

And the first interview with Michael Jackson since he left the U.S. in June 2005 goes to…Billy Bush? [Access Hollywood]

After her riveting turn making a whore of Christian Troy (like that’s hard) on Nip/Tuck, Rosie O’Donnell may get her own spin-off. [NY Post]

Today in cost-cutting: Moviefone conducts its Ashton Kutcher interview via IM. [Moviefone]

PR folks everywhere continue to realize that banning Paris Hilton from your event is a surefire way to score some publicity. I’m still totally okay with that, Esquire Show House in Los Angeles. [Hollyscoop]

ScoJo signs a deal to record her first album. The working title is Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, but they’re thinking of changing it to Hipster Masturbation 3000. [Junkiness]

Josh Duhamel and Ashton Kutcher go all Zoolander in this 1997 footage of the two at the Male Model of the Year competition (yeah, it really happens). Duhamel wins, and interviews that “the guy — I forget his name — from Iowa, he was exceptional.” The guy he’s talking about is, of course, Ashton Kutcher (who introduces himself as “Chris Kutcher”).

Not one but two models ate shit on the runway at Paris Fashion Week. Luckily, CBS News consolidated the videos of the two into a single clip for you to laugh at. Not fierce, girls, not fierce at all.

Below is a clip of Rosie O’Donnell and Dr. Christian Troy having sex on Nip/Tuck. View at your own risk.

• Ashton Kutcher is developing a candid-camera-style reality series for NBC based on the film The Wedding Crashers.
• Matt Stone has it on good authority that Saddam Hussein is being forced to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut in prison. Hussein banned the movie in his own country in 1999 because it depicts him as the gay lover of Satan. Fussy, fussy.
• Maybe you should just stay at home and drink alone, Tara.