I am such a 10-year-old girl. I was talking to my friend Anna today about possibly carpooling to the Britney Spears show on Thursday. She was like, “Yeah, we’ll probably leave around five.” I was like, “Well, okay, here’s the problem: Since I’m a member of the Britney Spears Fan Club …” and I didn’t get any further than that. Before I could explain that I had special fan-club VIP tickets that allow me to do a pre-show backstage tour and dinner, so I’d have to leave earlier than five, she had erupted in laughter, as had anyone else in earshot. I was like, “Fine! Okay! Yeah, I said that. I’m out and I’m proud! I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!”

So whatever. I’m still a pre-teen as far as my musical tastes are concerned. So is 23-year-old Ashley Tisdale, who today released a longer clip of her new track, “It’s Alright, It’s Okay” on MySpace. You can listen to it here. It sounds like … something straight off the High School Musical soundtrack. I thought she was supposed to be past that phase in her career. But you know what? I kind of love it. I won’t apologize! I loooooove cheesy tween-pop! It makes me so happy!

For real, though, Ash, your music has to grow up, because eventually your fans are going to.

Perez Hilton held his 31st birthday party yesterday at the Viper Room nightclub in West Hollywood. For someone who talks a lot of trash about celebrities, making juvenile comments about their love lives and appearances, a lot of them showed up at his party. This means that I can still hold out hope that Clive Owen will turn up at my 31st birthday party, no matter how big of a bitch I am on this blog.

Paris Hilton & boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, Amanda Bynes, Steve-O, and a very different looking Ashley Tisdale (holding hands with a lady friend) were in attendance, amongst others. The Jonas Brothers “rushed over” from the Kid’s Choice awards to sing Happy Birthday, and Christina Aguilera did her best Marilyn Monroe impression of a breathy “Happy Birthday Mr. Perez-ident.”

“I’m not thrilled with the number 31,” Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, said on the pink carpet in front of the Viper Room nightclub. “But I am super excited that, right now, I’m happier in my life than I ever have been before.”

Hilton bragged that the first gift he received was from “High School Musical” heartthrob Zac Efron.

“He sent me a bottle of champagne to my hotel room, which made me squeal like a little school girl,” he gushed.

Party attendee Paris Hilton seems to have contracted Victoria Beckham’s “Every Day I Look More and More Like a Robot” disease. Note the cut on boyfriend Reinhardt’s lip, a souvenir of Friday night’s scuffle with a bodyguard at Fontainebleau.

America’s sweetheart turns 16 years old today.  Doesn’t it seem like she’s been turning 16 forever?  Like closing Disney so 7,000 people could celebrate her big day wasn’t enough.  They better not roll out a cake for her tonight when she performs at the American Music Awards.

Here is Miley arriving at the AMAs looking totally age appropriate. 

I’m sure Beet will have plenty of coverage on the AMAs tomorrow but here are a few of my random thoughts on the first arrivals:

Christina Aguilera, seriously, what has happened to you?  It’s like your face totally changed when you got pregnant and it never returned to its original state.  I realize part of it is just a normal maturing but something looks…off. 

As off as seeing Pink as she appears tonight.  She gets a lot of criticism so I give her credit for wearing such a feminine.  I think she’s damned if she does or doesn’t; I just never imagined I’d feel so uncomfortable actually witnessing her in an evening gown and nose ring.

I had to look up who the hell Shailene Woodley was.  I guess she stars on some show called The Secret Life of an American Teenager.  You’ll know her better as the chick wearing flower pots on her feet.

Toccara has been looking good.  And by good I mean like a drag queen.

I’m unnaturally distracted by Dancing With The Starsjudge Carrie Ann Inaba.  Is she missing a set of eyelashes on one eye? 

And finally, Ashley Tisdale.  You’re cute, you’re wealthy.  You haven’t been romantically linked to any Jonas brother.  Cheer up…life is good! 

Increasingly hetero-seeming Zac Efron cozies up to his costars, Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens, at the Melbourne premiere of High School Musical 3.

No surprises here but High School Musical 3: Senior Year was the weekend’s top grossing movie with ticket sales of $42M. 

Ashley Tisdale and other cast members at The 3rd Rome International Film Festival High School Musical 3 Premiere.  Her dress is a little Vegas showgirl, i.e. I love it.  I’m actually loving her as a brunette too!

Director Kenny Ortega needs to lay off the caffeine.  Or coke.

A Disney rep told the Hollywood Reporter this week that a High School Musical 4 was in the works.

Ashley’s response?

“We love HSM, but we kind of have to move on. It will always be a part of us that we loved to do.”

I assume the reporter asked her the question regarding both she and Vanessa, otherwise she is talking in the royal we for reasons that baffle me.

Anyway, what does Ash think is up next?

“I’d love to do more romantic comedies in the future … [I love] Kate Hudson — she’s funny!”

Yes, Ashley, she is. Kate Hudson has an innate, sophisticated sense of comedic timing and delivery. That’s why she has a career in romantic comedies. It’s also why you don’t. Take the paychecks while they’re still being offered, sweetheart.

Here’s Ashley Tisdale at the AJ McLean (yes, the former Backstreet Boy) show in Anaheim.

What the hell was she doing there?

And here’s what I find the funniest: there are 101 photos of AJ McLean from this event. Literally. There is one photograph of Ashley Tisdale. This is the sole photo of Ashley from this event. Yet, how does the photo agency advertise this particular set of photos? With the single photo of Ashley Tisdale, of course. “Look! We have a photo of Ashley Tisdale! Check this out! Oh, and here’s another hundred photos of AJ McLean.”

Heh.

For what it’s worth, I like AJ. I think he’s a good guy and I wish him all the best.