Lance Armstrong’s ex isn’t exactly excited about his new relationship, with 21-year-old Ashley Olsen.

A source reports that, when she was asked about the relationship at a party recently, “Sheryl rolled her eyes and said, ‘That’s pathetic. Ashley’s a kid.’”

I agree, Sheryl!

Lance Armstrong — who’s been linked to Ashley Olsen in recent days — showed up at Macy’s Herald Square in NYC on Friday in celebration of his second run of the New York Marathon, which will take place on Sunday.

He’s cute.

Cute like an old man is cute.

Ashley is probably in his pocket. Giving him a hand job or something. Must be convenient.

This is three nights in a row!

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted partying at NYC’s The Box on Wednesday night, while “celebrity” chef Rocco DiSpirito couldn’t get in for half an hour. “The doorman kept ignoring him and pretending he wasn’t there. It was actually really sad. He kept watching celeb after celeb being walked in.”

Three nights in a row is a big deal among the Hollywood set, people!

I guess Ashley is convenient for Lance. I mean, he can just hang a basket on his bike and keep her in that.

After making out at NYC’s Rose Bar on Monday night, Lance and Ashley (Lashley?) hooked up again late Tuesday night at the Waverley Inn (where Lance was hanging out with Owen Wilson, who probably has no business being in a bar right now).

I just picture Lance Armstrong’s aging ass being all like, “Hey, baby doll, will you give me a little head tonight? Just suck it for a little while?” And then Michelle Tanner grinning, giving him a thumbs-up and saying “You got it, dude!”

This item is going to make my head explode.

Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch’s ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, “They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.” Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, “He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn’t deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up.” Olsen’s rep didn’t return calls.

Forget Tory Burch! What the hell does Sheryl Crow think about about this???

This is just wrong.

Last week was very exciting for the scrumptious High School Musical star Zac Efron, as he turned 20 years old. More importantly however, it was a tough week for me and many other people. Since our starry eyed hunk is no longer a teenager he falls on the hotness scale from about a 8.75 to a measly 6. This SUCKS. Consider the Olsen twins, no one talks about how hot these identical twins are anymore. Why, you ask? It’s simple, once we all threw our countdown-to-legal calendars in the gutter, they lost out their excitement! It was no longer forbidden, it was smack-you-in-your-face LEGAL to fantasize about MK and A, and no one cared. Mr. Piece-of-ass-of-the-moment Efron held on as long as he could, and we commend him for this my friends, but time is no longer on his side. All we have to look forward to now are some incriminating photos of the boy-with-hair-so-soft-I-wanna-use-it-as-a-scarf turning 21 and drunkenly making out with some random girl (fingers crossed). On totally unrelated note, does anyone perchance happen to know where Zac might be spending his 21st birthday. I will reward you handsomely if any information leads to me being that drunken hook-up.

Ashley Olsen looks less than thrilled to be at the Christian Louboutin Party Hosted By Saks in Hollywood on Wednesday night.

Also, it looks like she forgot to put sunscreen on her nose recently.

Also there: Rachel Bilson, Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell (see, I told you guys she was at everything these days).