Oh, Ashlee.

I know how upset you were when Jamie-Lynn Spears had the gall to announce her pregnancy just as you premiered your new video. Today’s damn teenagers have no sense of how to share the media — in my day, the middle schools had a mandatory week on scheduling your teenage pregnancy around external media events. I’m proud of you for being woman enough to continue forward with the promotional efforts.

To reward your strength, I’m running these boring photos of you on TRL.

Your scarf makes me worry that your head is partially disconnected from your body. I remember reading a short story about that once. Some guy who fell in love with some girl who wore a scarf all the time and said she couldn’t take it off, not ever, and then one time when she was sleeping he pulled it off and her head fell off and she died. Does anyone else remember reading this story or am I making weird shit up again? I do that sometimes. Like this one time, I was convinced Chris Farley was in my closet and he wanted to eat my fingernails, but not with the nail polish on them. So I needed to take the nail polish off to make Chris Farley happy so he could eat my fingernails.

In fairness, I may have been really high.

Anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ashlee Simpson!

It’s hard to compete with the Spears sisters. You can work as hard as you want; nothing’s more interesting than famous trailer trash.

Ashlee Simpson is said to be devastated that the big debut of her new video, “Outta My Head,” was eclipsed by the Jamie-Lynn Spears pregnancy scandal.

“Ashlee can’t believe this happened. She’s so disappointed,” said a source. “Her sister, Jessica, grew up in the shadow of Britney; it took years for Jess separate herself from her. How ironic that Ashlee’s big day ends up spent in the shadow of Britney’s little sister.”

Hollywood is so unpredictable!

You know, normally I’d give her some shit about this video, especially since it appears to end in her being dragged to the psych ward, but in comparison with what Britney’s been churning out lately, I have to give her credit for at least acting like she cares. And it’s nice to see her doing something other than sucking face with Pete Wentz on camera.

Like, remember when she had a TV show? And released albums? And put on concerts and stuff?

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen her do any of those things. She just pops up on occasion in a picture with Pete Wentz, or, once in a blue moon, with her sister.

I have to admit I’m kind of a closet Ashlee Simpson fan. Come on, L-O, L-O, L-O-V-E! How can you not secretly dig that song?

We miss you, Ashlee!

The woman on the far right?

Is Cheri Oteri.

Yeah. That Cheri Oteri.

So weird.

At a GQ party for Brett Ratner’s “Visions of Hollywood.” Pete Wentz hosted.

Mr. Wentz turned 28 on June 5, and celebrated the occasion at Angels & Kings in NYC, with girlfriend Ashlee Simpson close by. No one else particularly famous was there, unless you count Tila Tequila (and I don’t).

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz seem to be the new hot “Young Hollywood” couple. Checking out some pics on Wireimage you can see…

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Host a Party at Angels and Kings – April 30, 2007

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Sighting in Midtown Manhattan – April 30, 2007

That day Pete Wentz was also on TRL. People are obsessed with this weird couple and to be perfectly honest I think that they are just weird.

I guess its is the combo of too much plastic surgery, tanning and eyeliner that is making the crowds go wild. To me they seem like one of those boring couples that likes to talk about how cool indie bands are, smoke weed and wear eachother’s pants.