Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]
Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]
T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]
Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]
See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]
Click to enlarge. We can always count on the eBay community to keep us informed of the world’s relevant goings-on. Coming soon: “Kim Jong Il Rare Bobble Head He May Agree to Disarm Nuclear Weapons In Exchange for U.S. Energy Aid”
Also, the boys at Junkiness remind us that you neither have to submit your DNA nor know how to properly spell her name to own little Dannielynn Stern. All you need is eBay.
The Tribune of Nassau published these photos this morning, alleging that ANS had an affair with Shane Gibson, the Bahamian immigration official who approved her application for permanent residency in the Bahamas. This is also the man with whom Dannielynn was allegedly left when Anna left for her doomed trip to Florida. While I’m fairly certain we can count this fella out in the battle for Dannielynn’s paternity, they do look awful close.
So yes it is sad to profit from people’s pain but when it is Anna Nicole dying it seems to be open season. The New York Post, really the captain of considerate journalism, posted a cartoon that was in pretty poor taste but yet it was also quite funny. So funny honestly that I had to post it.
I think that Tom Selleck is actually the father of Anna’s baby and that Howard has him chained a dungeon somewhere torturing him with re-runs of Magnum PI. Just a thought…makes more sense that the child coming from Howard J. Marshall’s 90 year-old sperm.
I’ll go ahead and jump on this picture-posting bandwagon. I have no idea how TMZ acquired these photos, but they seem pretty confident they are actually from the refrigerator in Anna’s bedroom in her Bahamas home. Note the methadone.
Sigh. I’m so tired already tonight.
Oh and Howard K. Stern’s been found. Apparently he hopped a flight to the Bahamas with Entertainment Tonight’s Mark Steines, who scored the exclusive interviews with HKS after Anna’s death. ET will start airing the footage Monday night, but you can get a sense of the mood from Mark’s blog:
Howard, in tears, at times unable to speak, shares with me that Dannielynn is the light helping him go on. As the plane lifts above the clouds, Howard thinks of those his precious Anna Nicole left behind. In a voice barely heard above the din of the jet engines he tells me, “I want her friends to pray that Anna Nicole is safe, happy and with Daniel.”
Because it appears most of the country has. If you so much as gave this woman a pap smear in 1987, Larry King wants to book you.
Check out this latest clip. First, Larry interviews some chick who said Anna Nicole was her maid of honor. She seems really down-to-earth and normal, and I’m confused, because I thought clearly Anna had no close friends who happened to be in any way grounded in reality, and then she announces that she had never met Anna before her wedding day. She’d won some contest through Trimspa, and … I don’t know, the story gets bizarre … but somehow or other Anna Nicole showed up at her wedding and now she’s on CNN.
Then Larry interviews some dude. Not sure who he is or why he matters, but he called Anna “pumpkin.”
And now, the coup de grace. Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna, who is absolutely fucking wasted. And crying. And oh my God she is trashed. Like Paula Abdul levels of incoherence. Now this is the kind of friend I’d have guessed Anna would have.
Okay I just had this fantasy of Joanie Laurer and Paula Abdul co-hosting some sort of View-style talk show program. Just imagine:
“So the war in Iraq is just…”
“I know, it’s, like, when I was ten years old, okay, I had this Barbie doll, and we, um, okay, I painted her pubic hair green and…”
“Right, with everyone dying over there, it’s just so … I mean … when I had my reality show with the Brady guy and my boyfriend came over and I had to try to kill myself because of the media scrutiny and…”
“I think the media scrutiny is just like Iraq.”
“It really is.”
“Do you have any bubbles?”
“Like to blow?”
“Yes.”
“Yes I do.”
Okay okay, I’ll stop. So now Larry’s talking to the wife of Trimspa’s CEO. She says Joanie is full of shit and is not friends with Anna, and is just using this opportunity to be in the limelight. She is Anna’s true friend, which is obviously why she is so deeply in mourning that she has to take her two minutes with Larry King to bitch out fucking Chyna.
Larry King is currently interviewing Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, the publicity whore who is cashing on on Anna Nicole’s death by saying he might be Dannielynn’s father. He’s been doing interviews all day. Larry can’t seem to get him to admit that he banged Anna, so he asks him why on earth he’s claiming he might be the father.
After stating that there are probably 30 guys who might be the father — way to call her a slut, dude — the Prince goes on to say this:
“Now there are two guys who claim one is the father, the other one is the father, and I think both of them are full of shit because they are not the father at all.”
Larry asks him if he was in love with Anna. The Prince says he’s not, he’s in love with his wife (Zsa Zsa Gabor), and it was just an affair with Anna. However, he will raise the baby if it is his.
