The Tribune of Nassau published these photos this morning, alleging that ANS had an affair with Shane Gibson, the Bahamian immigration official who approved her application for permanent residency in the Bahamas. This is also the man with whom Dannielynn was allegedly left when Anna left for her doomed trip to Florida. While I’m fairly certain we can count this fella out in the battle for Dannielynn’s paternity, they do look awful close.
So yes it is sad to profit from people’s pain but when it is Anna Nicole dying it seems to be open season. The New York Post, really the captain of considerate journalism, posted a cartoon that was in pretty poor taste but yet it was also quite funny. So funny honestly that I had to post it.
I think that Tom Selleck is actually the father of Anna’s baby and that Howard has him chained a dungeon somewhere torturing him with re-runs of Magnum PI. Just a thought…makes more sense that the child coming from Howard J. Marshall’s 90 year-old sperm.
I’ll go ahead and jump on this picture-posting bandwagon. I have no idea how TMZ acquired these photos, but they seem pretty confident they are actually from the refrigerator in Anna’s bedroom in her Bahamas home. Note the methadone.
Sigh. I’m so tired already tonight.
Oh and Howard K. Stern’s been found. Apparently he hopped a flight to the Bahamas with Entertainment Tonight’s Mark Steines, who scored the exclusive interviews with HKS after Anna’s death. ET will start airing the footage Monday night, but you can get a sense of the mood from Mark’s blog:
Howard, in tears, at times unable to speak, shares with me that Dannielynn is the light helping him go on. As the plane lifts above the clouds, Howard thinks of those his precious Anna Nicole left behind. In a voice barely heard above the din of the jet engines he tells me, “I want her friends to pray that Anna Nicole is safe, happy and with Daniel.”
Because it appears most of the country has. If you so much as gave this woman a pap smear in 1987, Larry King wants to book you.
Check out this latest clip. First, Larry interviews some chick who said Anna Nicole was her maid of honor. She seems really down-to-earth and normal, and I’m confused, because I thought clearly Anna had no close friends who happened to be in any way grounded in reality, and then she announces that she had never met Anna before her wedding day. She’d won some contest through Trimspa, and … I don’t know, the story gets bizarre … but somehow or other Anna Nicole showed up at her wedding and now she’s on CNN.
Then Larry interviews some dude. Not sure who he is or why he matters, but he called Anna “pumpkin.”
And now, the coup de grace. Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna, who is absolutely fucking wasted. And crying. And oh my God she is trashed. Like Paula Abdul levels of incoherence. Now this is the kind of friend I’d have guessed Anna would have.
Okay I just had this fantasy of Joanie Laurer and Paula Abdul co-hosting some sort of View-style talk show program. Just imagine:
“So the war in Iraq is just…”
“I know, it’s, like, when I was ten years old, okay, I had this Barbie doll, and we, um, okay, I painted her pubic hair green and…”
“Right, with everyone dying over there, it’s just so … I mean … when I had my reality show with the Brady guy and my boyfriend came over and I had to try to kill myself because of the media scrutiny and…”
“I think the media scrutiny is just like Iraq.”
“It really is.”
“Do you have any bubbles?”
“Like to blow?”
“Yes.”
“Yes I do.”
Okay okay, I’ll stop. So now Larry’s talking to the wife of Trimspa’s CEO. She says Joanie is full of shit and is not friends with Anna, and is just using this opportunity to be in the limelight. She is Anna’s true friend, which is obviously why she is so deeply in mourning that she has to take her two minutes with Larry King to bitch out fucking Chyna.
Larry King is currently interviewing Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, the publicity whore who is cashing on on Anna Nicole’s death by saying he might be Dannielynn’s father. He’s been doing interviews all day. Larry can’t seem to get him to admit that he banged Anna, so he asks him why on earth he’s claiming he might be the father.
After stating that there are probably 30 guys who might be the father — way to call her a slut, dude — the Prince goes on to say this:
“Now there are two guys who claim one is the father, the other one is the father, and I think both of them are full of shit because they are not the father at all.”
Larry asks him if he was in love with Anna. The Prince says he’s not, he’s in love with his wife (Zsa Zsa Gabor), and it was just an affair with Anna. However, he will raise the baby if it is his.
Beet mentioned that Zsa Zsa Husband’ Prince Frederick von Anhalt might also be the dad of the wee one. So it’s a three horse race, nothing special of note there. But PLEASEnote this:
He said the two started an affair… meeting over the years in Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York. For much of that time, he said, Smith urged him to make her a princess like his wife.
But short of divorcing the actress, he said the only solution would have been adopting Smith. Von Anhalt said he did consider that and even filled out adoption papers, but Gabor refused to sign them.
To recap: He was kickin’ it with Anna. Next up, she wanted to be a princess, and hell, who doesn’t? I know I do.
One problem: the only way to do it would be to make her his adopted daughter. He was willing to go this route but jerky Queen Zsa Zsa cut them off at the pass.
In essence, he needed to make this chick his daughter so that he could continue banging her. Let that marinate for a bit.
