In a move that proves money doesn’t necessarily equate to power, Angelina Jolie has bumped Oprah Can Someone Please Pass The Mashed? Winfrey out of the number one slot on Forbes’ Celebrity Top 100 Most Powerful list. 

Rankings are based not just on income but also on visibility.  In other words, Oprah needs to be in Playboy this year if she expects to waddle her way back to the top.  I’m not sure how serious a Top 100 Anything list can be considered when Jennifer Love Hewitt makes the cut, but it’s still wildly amusing to think of Oprah doing a centerfold spread. 

After Angie and O, Madonna, Beyonce, Tiger Woods, Bruce Springsteen, Stephen Spielberg, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Kobe Bryant filled out the top ten.

To view the entire list, click here.

I make it a policy to only report every tenth “Brad and Angelina Are Over!” story that gets floated out to the internet and today is that day.

As the Enquirer reports it in their Breaking News section, Brangie’s appearance at Cannes was staged for the media in hopes that no one would know that the truth:  they are ovah! 

After months of behind-the-scenes battles, it’s finally over between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Hollywood’s most glamorous power couple – who never married despite having six children – have grown tired of trying to gloss over their problems following five tumultuous years together, say sources.

Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider.

“They will make it official. It looks like Brad will be shooting two movies in California and in the Amazon, while Angelina is retreating to their French chateau with the rest of the family.

“It’s an official split.”

Listen, this is all crap.  I just report these stories as a trial run for the real deal.  Of course, when the inevitable break-up actually does happen, it’s not like any of us will believe it. 

To recap:  Brangie aren’t pregnant, adopting, broken up or interesting.

Angelina chows down on some cake on the NYC set of her new flick Salt.

We’ve got more pics of Angelina’s on-set eating in the Evil Beet Photo Galleries, along with new pics of Michelle Williams and Mathilda and Nick and Vanessa making out at Charles de Gaulle airport. Check ‘em out!

Brad and Angelina showed up arm and arm on the Cannes red carpet at the Inglourious Basterds premiere.  Brad looked appropriately doting and Angelina looked like she finally reached an appropriate body weight.  She wore a dress that wasn’t black and though she still hasn’t ventured out of the neutrals, it was cut to her nether regions which certainly helped her cause.

All in all, they look très glam if not overjoyed to be with one another.

It’s Tuesday, it’s sunny outside and I’m feeling productive.  So in the spirit of efficiency, I’m just going to get started on these newest stories about trouble in Brangelinadise.  Today’s tale?  The couple haven’t been photographed together in twenty-one days and Brad’s a drunk.

Daily Mail, the people who truly can fashion a feature story out of the tiniest shred of information, tells the story of Angelina’s dismay about Brad’s drinking and slovenly ways.  The summary:  Angelina came home from a long day of filming her movie, Salt.  She was upset to discover Brad passed out in bed.  He drank beer and watched movies all day, while the kids were on a separate floor of the house, giving the nannies hell.  Jolie reportedly went all sorts of nuts shaking Brad, trying to wake him up.

Listen, I seriously wonder if Daily Mail writers don’t just sit around munching on scones, make up a bunch of shit, and call it a staff meeting.  It’s so obvious that this never happened.  I mean, Angelina having enough strength, energy or body weight to shake someone?  Madness, I say!

Star Magazine is reporting that Angelina Jolie is contemplating giving a “sizeable donation” to octo-mom Nadya Suleman to help with childcare and medical costs:

Star has learned the actress is seriously considering donating thousands of dollars to the overwhelmed 33-year-old single mom, whose brood includes 2-month-old octuplets.

“Angelina is worried about the best interests of the kids,” explains a source. “As a mom of six, she knows how chaotic and costly raising a big family can be.”

But keep in mind that this is Star Magazine, and you’d be better off believing stories told by Courtney Love in an AA meeting. I find it highly doubtful that Jolie feels anything other than disturbed by this woman and her obsession with her. Doing anything to encourage that attachment would be an extremely stupid move. Say what you want about Jolie, she’s not that stupid.

Lindsay Lohan Sr. was on the D.C. set of Salt on Sunday, running around the city with her blond hair and ginormous kneecaps.

Seriously she is so skinny right now. That suit is practically falling off her body. And I thought before that I liked her blond hair but now I’m not sure anymore. Mostly I think she needs to gain 15 pounds and then we can worry about the hair.