Archive for the ‘Amy Winehouse’ Category

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Blake Wants a Divorce!!!

Monday, January 12th, 2009

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Oooh, it’s gonna get ugly.

Blake Civil-Fielder has instructed his attorney to begin divorce proceedings after Amy Winehouse went public with her relationship with a new man.

The couple do not have a pre-nup, and, considering that Amy’s adultery is well-documented, it’s possible that Blake will walk away with half of Amy’s money. Well, whatever amount of it she hasn’t put up her nose already.

This is going to be fun.

Hey, you guys, remember when I wrote about how Blake was all like “I’m breaking up with Amy to save her life! She’s better without me! I want nothing but for her to be happy!” and I was all like “This guy is soooo full of shit and neither of these two people is capable of actual love right now” and you guys ripped me a new asshole in the comments and you were all like “Oh why are you so cold-hearted to believe he can’t just love her?”

Yeah, guys.

I’m not cold-hearted. I’ve just seen this shit way too many times. Blake will love the millions of dollars he takes from her in a messy, bitter divorce battle far more than he ever loved Amy. And none of it will ever compare to how much he loves drugs.

Amy Winehouse is in Love With Something That Cannot be Snorted or Smoked

Sunday, January 11th, 2009

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Note that I didn’t say “swallowed” or “injected”?  Yep, Amy Winehouse is in love with a guy she met while on an endless St. Lucia holiday.  And who got the story?  News of the World, of course!  Take her proclamations of love and sobriety with a grain of salt, for a couple of reasons.  1)  It’s News of the World and 2)  Amy was downing tropical drinks during the whole time the reporter has been spending time with her.  It’s really long, but you can read the entire article here.

Can you imagine how thrilled this new guy’s family must be?  It’s a mother’s dream come true to have her son hook up with Amy Winehouse.  Trust me on that.

Oh, and St. Lucia isn’t that miraculous of a cure-all.  Picture is Amy’s wax figure at Madame Tussauds.  Basically, it’s all I can stand looking at.

On vacationing in St. Lucia and meeting her new love, Josh:

I don’t think I’m ever going home. I was supposed to go last week but I thought f*** that, I’m staying!

 

Especially as I met Josh here. He couldn’t be more different from my husband, which is not a bad thing.

 

Blake looks like me, a right mess. But Josh is all handsome and clean and that’s what I love about him.

 

People might think we haven’t got anything in common but I get on like a house on fire with all his family despite them being so posh.

 

When I’m with Josh I don’t need drugs to feel good because he makes me feel so amazing.

 

We just had sex. . . can’t you tell?

On Blake:

Blake was rubbish in bed. Do you know what? Almost every time I slept with him it was like I was dead.

 

I don’t know what’s going on with us now and for the time being I’ve just forgotten I’m even married.

 

I’m just here on my own, happy and having a good time with Josh. I’ll deal with Blake when I get back. But our whole marriage was based on doing drugs.

So being with someone like Josh is much better for me.

On getting clean:

Before I came out here I looked at a photo of myself in the newspaper and was horrified.

 

My skin was a spotty mess and I was so pale and skinny. I thought to myself, ‘Girl, you got to sort yourself out or you’ll be dead soon.’

 

I was depressed, doing drugs and had no life in me at all. Coming here has changed everything. We’re having a great time together along with all Josh’s family and friends and I just don’t want the holiday to end.

 

Home is hell for me. I’ve escaped from it. There are drugs everywhere. I can’t do anything without everyone thinking I’m off my head on drugs, although half the time they were right, I WAS.

But here I feel so calm and peaceful and for the first time I can definitely say I AM off the drugs. I haven’t touched anything since I arrived and I feel the best I have in years.

Amy Winehouse Figures She’s Got About Two Years Left

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

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Just when I think I’ve heard all there is to hear about Amy Winehouse, there’s more.  The end of the year offers an opportunity to look back on the past 365 days and reflect how your life has changed.  Can anyone tell me how Amy Winehouse’s life is one coke gram different than it was a year ago?

Alex Haines, the dude that Amy started screwing when her Blaaaaaake was in jail, has granted a tell-all interview to News of the World.  Can you even imagine what the People Who Share Drugs and Bodily Fluids With Amy Winehouse interview budget must be over at NOTW?  If nothing else, I love that they capitalize all the words that they feel are the most critical.  CRACK!  BREAKFAST!  HIS TOOTHBRUSH!  THROW UP!  It really makes for efficient reading.

On drugs:

Alex Haines tells how the singer smoked CRACK for BREAKFAST from pipes she made out of drinks bottles as she blew £3,500 a week on drugs in her darkest hours.

She was so desperate for every last bit she even frantically scraped the residue out with a SCREWDRIVER so it wouldn’t be wasted.

When Amy woke up the first thing she’d ask was, ‘Where’s my pipe?’.  She often made crack pipes by putting foil on top of plastic bottles and then burning the drug.

 

While she got it going I made toast with butter and a cup of tea for her. It was her normal breakfast.

 

When Amy ran out of the drug it she would cut the bottle in half and sit there on the floor completely wired, scraping the inside to get the residue with a screwdriver.

 

She had to have a heroin and crack pipe near her or she freaked out. She’d keep taking drugs until she passed out. I reckon she spent £3,500 a week on them.

 

Amy’s home in Camden, London, was a hub for drug-fuelled parties—with the singer always eager to impress her fellow addicts.

 

At one party Amy wanted to prove she was used to cocaine. So she did a line that was 20 CENTIMETRES LONG to show she was a big user.

On Amy’s eating disorder:

He also reveals how the once painfully thin diva was a secret BULIMIC—living on McDonalds and up to 10 Crunchie bars at a time. She even used HIS TOOTHBRUSH to make herself THROW UP afterwards.

Amy suffered from bulimia, which is why she looked so thin. She would have a massive McDonalds and then throw it all up in the bathroom. I found my toothbrush covered in sick, and asked her about it.

 

She went really sheepish but told me she suffered from it for a long time. Several times I went into her bathroom and saw sick all over the sink.

 

She lived off Crunchie bars—up to 10 at a time—packets of Haribo sweets and bottles of orange Lucozade Sport. Her heroin problems made her crave sugar.

On sex with Amy:

It was like having my own little porn star. Amy was so dirty—she wanted sex all the time. We did it four or five times a day and she’d even wake me up for it. She was addicted to sex like she was to drugs.  It was 6am. I woke up looked around and there she was. She pounced on me. We made love. Afterwards I said, ‘This is gonna make things difficult,’ but she replied, ‘No it’s not’.

 

We became wrapped up in one another. When I stayed at hers I would be asleep downstairs and there would be this little girl on the bed crawling towards me waking me up for sex.  But Amy could never get Blake off her mind. She would go on about him and her being together forever straight after we made love. I sat there in disbelief. We had few bust-ups over it.

On Amy cutting:

I was my job to look after her. But it was impossible. I thought she wouldn’t survive the year with all the drugs and self-harming. Cutting herself was her favourite pastime.  He was shocked by her self-harming. The first time I saw her do it was after she told Blake we’d had a fling. She cut herself with scissors from shoulder to wrist.

 

And even Amy, 25, was afraid her number was almost up.  She reckoned she would join the 27 club of rock stars who died at that age.  She told me, ‘I have a feeling I am gonna die young.’

The 27 Club is in reference to a group of musicians all who have died at the age, obviously, twenty-seven.  This clan includes Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain.  All of whom were excessive drug users.  It strikes me funny that Amy “has a feeling”  she’s going to die young as if she’s getting some telepathic download on this.

Thanks Whitney!

Yes Of Course There Are EVEN MORE Pics of Amy Winehouse Naked

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

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Wendie ran the first batch this weekend; you can see them here. Now there are even more, plus a video of Amy dancing topless on her balcony. I’m not joking. It’s here.

You know what’s weird?

Despite all the hell she puts her body through, she still has really nice tits. I guess the gods of evolution (is that an oxymoron?) want us to keep our reproductive organs intact no matter what.

I also love how, without her crazy wig beehive, she’s totally rocking the Jew-fro. Like, underneath the rock-star career and the crack habit, this is just a nice Jewish girl who took a few wrong turns along the way …

A Holiday Gift For All Evil Beet Readers

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

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Amy Winehouse.  Topless here.  You’re very, very welcome.  And I think this goes without saying but just in case you’ve hit the nog a little too hard this season,  NSFW.

Oh, and funniest quote ever from the accompanying News of the World article:  “Amy just whipped off her top and dived in to the sea without a care in the world. She was looking a better than she has for a while. A bit of sun is just what she needs.”  Yeah, a tan.  That’s what she needs.  Why didn’t I think of that?  

Can we think of some things to add to the list of Just What Amy Winehouse needs?  I’ll start:  1)  teeth.

Blake Is Going Back to Jail

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

So sad. And, yet, so very, very predictable.

Blake Civil-Fielder has failed a drug test, and sobriety was a part of his early release agreement, so he’s going back to the slammer, possibly until 2010. Meanwhile, Amy Winehouse — who’s currently in the hospital herself — has begun divorce proceedings.

A source said: “Blake did a runner. He turned up in hospital and hell broke loose — everyone was totally shocked.

“He was asking Amy to forgive him. As he was going back inside anyway he felt he didn’t have much to lose.”

Fielder-Civil, who had been at Live Works rehab in Woking, Surrey, planned to hand himself in to cops after an evening with her.

A source said: “If he had stayed in prison last month rather than taking the rehab option he was set to be released at the end of this month. He’s blown it.”

Jesus Christ. This relationship is such a shit-show. If they both get through the next year alive, I’ll be impressed.

Blake Says He’s Dumping Amy to Save Her Life

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

In an interview with News of the World, Blake Civil-Fielder admits (from rehab) that he’s the reason Amy got hooked on crack and heroin, and that he plans to stay out of her life in the future because he feels it’s the best thing he can do for her. Blake gets out of rehab at the end of this year.

“The first time Amy took crack she asked me, ‘Can I try a bit of that’,” he said. “Crack is the nastiest drug. It makes you paranoid, unreasonable, edgy and totally suspicious of everyone. And you can get hooked on it straight away. But I was weak and an addict and I let Amy take some. I didn’t stop it from happening. For that I take full responsibility. It became something we did as well as heroin. And then our lives fell apart.”

Blake talked about the first time he saw Amy have a seizure from a drug overdose. “I knew fucking then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life,” he said. And as for his prison stay? “I just couldn’t believe that after our wonderful marriage — the happiest day of my life — we were going to be torn apart. I felt inadequate. I felt unworthy of Amy. I felt that she should be with some other pop star or film star. Not be with some little chav from Camden. I cut my arms after we fell out over doing too much drugs and losing sight of ourselves. Amy got really upset about seeing me bleeding. And because she’s loyal and fucked up over our love — like Romeo and Juliet — she cut her arms too. I had to get her stitched up.”

And as for their future together?

“There are still reasons that Amy and I don’t like to be sober and if I go back to her I am basically saying, ‘It’s all right to kill yourself Amy’. Even if I was strong enough to resist drugs — and I’m not — it’s a ticking timebomb. I accept that there is every horrible, horrible chance that I could be tempted to take drugs again if I went back to Amy … My fantasy is that one day fate might bring us back together when Amy is clean. In an ideal world me and Amy would live together in a nice house with our two kids and all of this would be a distant fucking memory. That would be my dream … What people don’t realise is that Amy is an amazing wife, an amazing home-maker and a beautiful figure in the home. You would be surprised the domestic bliss you can have with Amy just doing the cooking and caring for you. But because of drugs we can’t have a normal life together. That’s why I have to let her go.”

OMG. This guy sounds like such a drama queen. How can you have a normal relationship with somebody who’s this intense all the time? On the flip side, though, it does seem like he cares for Amy a great deal, and is trying to help the both of them to get and stay sober, which is admirable.

You can hear some audio clips from the interview here or read more of it here.

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