It’s just wrapping paper. But when I first saw these photos in tiny thumbnail form, I was like, “Oh, God, Amy Winehouse is stalking the streets of London with a bat.” False alarm. You can go back outside, London.

She looks healthier than she has in ages, but does she have like 50 pairs of those jeans and ballet flats, or has she just been wearing the same ones for the past two years?

The paps say the ring on her finger may be an engagement ring from Blake Civil-Fielder, which might be more dangerous for everyone than a baseball bat.

Amy Winehouse has been in the hospital this week due to a negative interaction between an over the counter *coughcough* cold medication and her methadone drugs she takes to assist in her sobriety.    That story sounded suspicious and sure enough, it wasn’t true.

Winehouse’s dad Mitch, the one who was just raving about his daughters tits a couple weeks ago, is talking again.  According to Mitch, “It wasn’t because she had a cold.  She just had a little (points to his own chest) leaky something or other.”

Question:  Do you think Amy Winehouse’s dad is just a wee bit too involved in the status of his daughter’s breasts?

Don’t worry, you guys, they’re not in the hospital together. No single hospital has enough morphine for that. (Oh, wait, Nicole doesn’t have a drug problem anymore … yeeeeah.) But Amy’s still in a London hospital because her “cold medication” — God, I can’t even type this with a straight face — interacted poorly with some “other” medications she was on. Ummmm yes. When you take 32 Nyquil and 18 Vicodin, they interact poorly. That’s true, Amy. Glad we’ve cleared that up.

Nicole’s at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia, which I kind of believe, only because she’s been missing a lot of press events lately, citing illness, and that’s unlike Nicole. I’d put the likelihood that she’s in the hospital for something more interesting than pneumonia at about 30%. Her rep says she’s “doing well.”

OK then. Get well, everybody, no matter why you’re sick. Pics are of Nicole at a March of Dimes event earlier this month.

Wino landed herself in the hospital yesterday.  According to her friend, she took a cold remedy that didn’t react well with “medication she takes for her on-going recovery.”  Evidently, that combination was enough to make her sick.  Really sick.  Off to the hospital she went.  Don’t you think the hospital staff calls out “Amy!” when she arrives, much like how the bar patrons called out “Norm!” on Cheers?  She is the George Wendt of drying out.  Anyway, Amy was due to stay in the hospital overnight, but she’s fine and should be released today.

This is what I like to call a teaching moment.  What does Amy’s bad fortune teach us today?  Don’t take your Antabuse with a Vicks 44 chaser.  Or, Methadone and Mucinex don’t mix.  Like, duh.

The Hoff went into rehab earlier this month after two cases of alcohol poisoning and an incident where he tried to punch a doctor that was treating him. Recently, he spoke out about his alcoholism and compared himself to first aid practice mannekin Amy Winhouse.

“The problem that I’ve experienced in my own life and some of the stuff that’s been documented about Amy is a universal problem.
“It’s an illness. You don’t wake up in the morning and decide to have this problem.”

When I think of similarities between the Hoff and the House, I tend to think of creepy, inept fathers and fake breasts, but yeah, alcoholism too. Sure.

In what other ways are David Hasselhoff and Amy Winehouse similar?

Imagine someone asking your dad how you are doing.  Imagine your dad exclaiming that you’re well and that your boobs look great.  Now silently thank the universe that Mitch Winehouse is not your dad.

Amy Winehouse’s father has been one chatty chap this week.  Earlier in the week, he testified to Parliament that he feels rehab is a waste when it is offered to addicts that are facing criminal charges.  It’s an ironic viewpoint since rehab is exactly what has kept his own darling daughter out of the clink.

A British telly programme (sorry, but you should expect this sort of thing from me) asked Mitch how his daughter was.  He replied “Fantastic, fantastic. Her boobs are great as well.  I shouldn’t have said that should I? She looks absolutely fantastic.”

If there is any consolation, at least Daddy Winehouse doesn’t know how much the operation cost the singer.  The reporter mentioned rumors of the augmentation costing $56,000, but Mitch was unaware.  ”I don’t know. I didn’t have to pay for it – that’s all I know. Whenever I see her, she says, ‘Dad can you give me a couple of hundred.’ [But] I didn’t have to pay for the boobs. I don’t know.”

And isn’t that just the one sentence we all hope to never hear our fathers utter?  ”I didn’t have to pay for the boobs.”  Shudder.

Amy Winehouse and a girlfriend walked around London last night and you couldn’t notice a few things about her look: 1) She’s got a big ol’ wet stain in the same place she’s always got wet stains, 2) She was rocking a new set of knockers and 3) Her shirt had her ex-husband’s name on it and the proclamation that she was his “girl”. The singer, who seems to be shaping up her act quite a bit, is rumored to have just boosted the size of her breasts from a B-cup to a D-cup and although the results don’t seem too visible here, she supposedly burst one of her new boobies on stage the other night. Or she thought she did anyway, because she returned to the hospital that performed the surgery for an overnight stay. The gallery below has tons of photos that will help you determine whether or not the augmentation story is true and lots of proof that if Amy is cleaning herself up, she’s still got a lot of work to do.