“How cool is Glee? it’s funny shit reminds me of school…Wicked that they did rehab sounds the nuts. Thanks Glee.”

– Winehouse gushes on Glee and its cast, whose rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing” is currently number two on the U.K. singles chart (saywha?!)

Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband that she recently started seeing again was caught cheating on her with a new fiance. But he was also cheating on that new fiance… with a transsexual version of Amy Winehouse. Now, the original story came from the Sun and I wouldn’t believe a word of it if 1) We didn’t have photos of Blake Fielder-Civil walking around with the 17-year old in tranny in question and 2) The dude’s on drugs and a lot of them. Now, that’s not to say you’d have to be on drugs to sleep with a tranny, I’m sure there are many folks who like to look at a lady face while touching a dick. I’m sure of it! But one that’s a carbon copy of your ex-wife? Ehhh, that’s just a little weird for my taste.

Anyway! This woman, she goes by Mia McHugh and she’s telling all about her time with Blake. I’ve pulled some choice quotes for you:

“He was taking cocaine in the toilets and would come out rubbing his nose.”

“It was bizarre. I was nervous, but I liked him, so I just went along with it. Then he took me to the hotel.”

“We played games of dare and ended up kissing and mucking about.”

“I was lying there and his hands were all over me. Then he suddenly realised.”

“He stopped, looked at me, and said, ‘Are you a transsexual’? I told him yes and he just smiled.”

“He kept asking me questions about it – he was fascinated with my Adam’s apple – and I was besotted with him.”

Mia and Blake were hot and heavy for a bit there, but Blake dropped her as soon as his new lady Sarah Aspin was around. Mia attempted to approach him in a bar one night, only to be shut down because he was with Sarah. Blake later told Mia that he wasn’t ashamed of her, but that he could not longer keep up their liaisons. Too bad Mia just ratted him out on doing coke while on probation…

Amy Winehouse is orange. I don’t know if she’s channeling Snooki or if she and Lohan are BFF now or if she’s preparing for an upcoming role as an Oompa Loompa or WHAT. It’s been buzzing around that her fiance, good ol’ Blake Fielder-Civil, has been cheating on her. Maybe she got sad and thought she’d spice up her look with a self-tanner and a couple glasses of wine and next thing ya know, she’s lookin’ like the Syracuse mascot. Perhaps Amy’s special glow was the reason why she made a beeline for her car when leaving dinner last night with her goddaughter.

And she’s not waiting a hot second more than she has to in order to do it.

Ex Fielder-Civil is still in rehab but once his ass is released next month, they’ll be taking a holiday to St. Lucia to indulge in rekindling the flame that initially lit their crack pipes love.

I gotta ask: what kind of unbalanced creepers remarry six months or so after their first divorce is finalized?  This is such a bad idea — and it’s got death and destruction and the end of days written all over it.  Kind of like this photo.

I feel bad for these two.  Well, more for Amy than I do Blake because he seems to be the catalyst that triggered the super-talented chanteuse’s downward spiral to begin with, but regardless.  Setting these two up together again is like setting Michael Vick free in a animal shelter.

You know, I want to defend Amy Winehouse, but I don’t think I can. I loved her last album so much and have avoided being overly harsh while she’s been acting like a strung out lunatic for the past two years, but this chick just doesn’t have her act together. What’d she do this time? She went to a production of Cinderella in Buckinghamshire, England on Saturday night, and then proceeded to scream obscenities at the actors during the performance, including Mickey Rourke. (Yeah, I don’t know why Mickey Rourke is doing theater in England, either.)

But then get this: When Amy was confronted by theater staff because they wanted to move her to a private box where she could more harmlessly yell at the performers, she decided to start throwing punches. Disturbing the peace, assault… you know, just typical theater manners.

Worse than Amy’s behavior is that, although this story has been reported, she hasn’t been questioned by police and the theater isn’t pressing charges. Basically, Amy has gotten away with terrible behavior once again. I don’t think she’d learn a whole lot if she was penalized, but they should at least start draining her bank account so that she can’t afford to act like a jackass anymore.

“We’re back together, and we’re engaged. Amy and I have talked about getting married again and starting a family – we both definitely want kids.”

-Blake Fielder-Civil, the junkie that Amy Winehouse just divorced, confirming to The Sun that he and the singer are back on.

This is gross and depressing. Amy Winehouse is mega-talented and it seemed like she might be able to detox and get back on top for a minute there. Hopefully Blake F-C was just high or lying. I don’t think I’d be able to handle watching the rapid deterioration of the two of them again.

Yes, that headline is intended to infuriate you. Amy Winehouse, who was seen holding a roll of wrapping paper the other day, did not limit her Christmas cheer to just some high-end wrapping supplies. Amy spent over six hours and 32,000 bucks at Selfridges department store in London this past week. Why spend all that money on sparkly balls for your tree when you’ve just had some serious sparkly balls implanted in your chest?

I guess that if anyone deserves to enjoy Christmas (beside, ya know, children and poor people), it’s Amy Winehouse. She’s seeming pretty rehabbed these days and slightly more together than she was a year or two ago.

Most of her moolah was spent on lighting of all kinds (even that annoying musical stuff that you usually find at Nana and Grandpa’s house because they are old and senile enough to find that stuff cute.) When the store manager mentioned to Amy that there was a lot of possible danger involved in installing most of her purchases, she threw down the extra cash to have someone come and do all of the work for her. As if a celebrity would have it any other way.

Oddly enough? The one thing Amy forgot to pick up in addition to her mechanical reindeers and dancing snowflakes? A Christmas tree.