Shyamali Malakar, please tell me you also occasionally pose nude in front of WWII memorials. Because traffic’s kinda lagging around here this week…

This song is my latest obsession. I listen to it on loop over and over and over again. Because it is awesome (and Tori’s album hasn’t leaked yet — come on, little hacker men! Get on it!)

Oh wait, I guess her name is actually Stephanie Edwards. I never really liked her very much to be perfectly honest. I was a little shocked that Chris Richardson was in the bottom 2. America does vote on personality and I think Stephanie came off as a bit entitled and boring.

It is another victory for Sanjaya. He is a cute kid and honestly I am starting to see why little girls are voting for him. Did I just say that? He will now offically be on tour with the rest of the Idols. Sanjaya is in the TOP 10. Simon must be peeing his pants right now.

We’re coming to ya live from the Idol-Dome!

Hey, Haley Scarnato is still on the show? How did that happen? Do you think the security guards get confused every time she comes to the sound stage? “No seriously, I’m on the show.”

Paula makes a joke about picturing Simon naked. I think she’s housed! Welcome back Paula, we’ve missed you so! The crowd cheers for the theme this evening, “The British Invasion” even though none of them were alive during it. Read the rest after the jump homeslice! (more…)

With himself. Hot.

Sanjaya is still in “American Idol.” I am not the only one who thinks that this is just wrong. Simon Cowell has come out saying that he will quit the show if the plucky Indian crooner wins the top prize on AI. Cowell has said, “He’s not going to win. I won’t be back if he does!”

“American Idol” has always had those singers that aren’t very good but stay in the competition because they are dynamic or interesting. We’ve had Ryan Starr, Scott Savol, and few other little gems but they really were never as boring and monotone as Sanjaya. He initially had a good audition but you know what, since then it has been a slow train to sucksville.

Sanjaya’s fans I guess are called “Fanjayas.” I don’t know who these people are but seriously, this dude is bad. He is cute and he has a nice little story and I know he is the first Indian-American ever in the competition but all of that aside he has the personality of Dick Cheney. He also is the pick right now for Vote For The Worst which might account for him still being in the competition.

Who knows what the future holds for Sanjaya? I hope his booty gets booted next week because if he makes it one more week he is on the IDOL TOUR. So much about that is very wrong.

It’s Top 12 time. NB: I decided to quit smoking yesterday, I’m going on two hours of sleep, and I just gagged my way through the first twenty-five minutes of MTV’s True Life: I’m a Genius in order to give my TiVo a head start, so this recap is going to be bitchy.

Before we begin, I’d like to note that somehow it is going to take two hours for twelve people to sing a Diana Ross song. It would probably take less time to teach Paula Abdul to play Diana Ross’s entire repertoire on the tuba. But alas.

Side note: Remember Brian Dunkleman? Yeah. Remember that comedian who shot himself in the face this week? Yeah. Strangely enough, not the same person.

Ryan is once again plowing new fashion ground, wearing a rusted silver (like Tin Man silver) collared shirt, a copper tie, and a grey vest and suit jacket. Honestly, the only word that comes to mind for this particular color palette is “discordant.” How is anyone supposed to sing on key with that ensemble so nearby? Why can’t he just dress normal? They’re also in a new theater, which has been designed specifically to look like the inside of a pinball machine. The producers kept calling the art director like, “No, no, not tacky enough yet.”

Lots more recap after the jump.

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I am so jealous. Burger King has just given Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson free Burger King for the rest of her life! I truly believe I could live on BK’s chicken sandwiches alone. I think it has all the food groups, right? And it’s yummy. I need to win an Oscar.

You see, when Jennifer responded to Simon Cowell’s complaints that she didn’t thank American Idol in her Oscar acceptance speech, Hudson responded by saying: “If I’d been any better at my job when I was at Burger King in my middle teens, I wouldn’t be here either, so should I thank them, too?”

Burger King responded with the following statement:

“…In response to Jennifer’s recent comments in which she asked if she should be thanking Burger King, we say thanks, but no thanks are necessary. Burger King Corporation is proud of Jennifer’s success and while we never like to lose employees, in this case, our loss is the entertainment industry’s gain … To further show our support for Jennifer, and make sure she never has to sing for her supper again, Burger King Corporation is giving her a pre-paid BK Crown Card that will be automatically reloaded for life.”

Burger King is only the latest fast food chain to grab free publicity from a celeb’s controversy. In late January, when Kevin Federline took heat from the fast food industry for a Super Bowl commercial, Taco Bell responded by offering K-Fed a one-hour shift, complete with free food for the patrons during that hour.