The next three contestants in the Top 12 have been announced.

What do you guys think of the choices???

You can find out who moved on after the jump, if you don’t already know.

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Sooooo, the U.S. government totally screwed me over by scheduling Obama’s speech on Tuesday. Idol had to move to Wednesday, and I was not expecting that. I had a bunch of other stuff scheduled for tonight, so I won’t be able to do the typical long-form Idol recap this week. But DON’T WORRY. I have plenty to say, and I’m going to make my points, I’ll just do it in shorter form. Here are my thoughts:

1) I think it’s interesting that they didn’t interview the contestants’ families on the red couch like they did last week. It was SO ANNOYING and it didn’t work AT ALL, and the producers obviously noticed that and implemented the change right away. THANK GOODNESS.

2) After seven seasons of having the judges talk in the order of Randy, Paula, Simon, now they’re switching it up so a different judge starts each time. I don’t quite get that. I liked that Simon always went last. I wonder whose idea it was to make that change. Kara’s?

3) I cannot believe how drugged up Paula is. Cannot believe it. Doesn’t she ever watch the tapes of herself and realize how ridiculous she looks? It’s mind-blowing that they keep renewing her contract so that she can go on live television and slur like the underage girl in the bar five minutes before she flashes the bartender.

4) Kara’s bracelet tonight? Is totally from Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow line. It’s on the Kitson website here. I turned to my friend the first instant they showed Kara and said, “I know that bracelet. It’s from Nicole Richie’s line.” And for that I am duly ashamed.

5) Allison Iraheta is probably going to win this whole competition. Un. Fucking. Believable. For a sixteen-year-old? What a natural. I’m in love. She even looks a little like Kelly Clarkson, and she came out of nowhere and gave me chills, just like Kelly did during her very first Idol performance. She’s definitely my favorite so far.

6) I really don’t think Megan Joy Corkrey is very good at all. Her performance was awful and the way she bops around on stage is embarrassing. I think the judges went easy on her because she’s so pretty, and we lost Casey Carlson last week, and it’s important for ratings that we have a total hottie in the Top 12. They should have torn her a new asshole, but they’re secretly hoping she sticks around to be eye candy.

7) I find Jesse Langseth to be super duper annoying. And I can’t believe the judges commented on how her look was an improvement. WTF did she look like before? That one-shoulder shirt was cheap and ugly and she was wearing the wrong bra — her tits were practically down around her waist.

8) So is Adam Lambert gay or what?

9) Love Nick Mitchell. LOVE him. (Not as much as I love Allison though.)

10) Jeanine Vailes is the reason they invented rhinoplasty. The instant she gets booted off the show tomorrow, that girl needs to run, not walk, to the nearest plastic surgeon and get that shit taken care of.

In summary, I think the three that get through will be Allison, Nick and Adam. I have a feeling we’re going to be looking at a male-intensive Top 12 this year, unless the producers pull some strings and make sure the wild cards are all girls, which I’m sure is exactly what they’re going to do.

Who did you guys vote for?

A tipster in the publishing industry tells Evil Beet exclusively that a former employee of the show is shopping around a tell-all book. Says our source:

[T]he author is planning a whole expose of their employment. A few things that are going to be revealed are the drugs and alcohol that flow freely through the show, how the show is fixed, contestant plants, brainwashing, verbal and physical abuse, sweatshop like working conditions, threats of blacklisting, etc…….

Apparently the book is going to be full of very damaging allegations and plans on revealing all the behind the scenes workings of the show.

Some potential editors already have the proposal on their desks!!!

Didn’t the producers of the show make him sign an NDA???

I really hope this book gets published! I want to read it NOW!!!

Okay, guys, we’re doing Idol recaps again this season. It’s been a season or two since I’ve done them, but they were really popular around here a couple years ago, and many of you have asked if I’d do them again this season. It’s hella time-consuming, but I have to admit that I love writing them.

Ryan’s here, and he’s not wearing something ridiculous. He’s in gray slacks and a light gray collared shirt with a dark sweater over it. He is easing us into the Ryan Seacrest Wardrobe. Trust me, in a few weeks, he’ll be up there in a bright purple shirt with fringe and hot pants. Just wait. Ryan introduces the judges, and I’m already delighted, because Paula is wasted. She’d appeared generally sober throughout the audition process, but when she doesn’t have to show up for a taping until 4 pm, Team Sobriety loses. The judges talk nonsense about what the contestants have to do (Randy: “You’ve gotta be in it to really win it”) and Kara admits to being a little bit nervous about her first live show. Then it’s Paula’s turn to talk, and oh God yes she’s wasted. It’s bad tonight. Which is sooo good. Then Simon comments on Ryan’s hair, which is now brunette, and accuses him of going all “single white female,” because Simon’s hair is dark too. Ryan calls him a “silver fox.” Oh, I’d missed the loosely veiled anti-gay banter between Simon and Ryan. It really sends the right message to our nation’s youth.

Jump in for the rest!

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Simon Cowell has always been a hero of mine.  I think my love for himstarted a few years back when he said Beyonce wasn’t a good singer, didn’t have a good body and that he found her fame mystifying.  But now Beyonce is performing on December 13th’s episode of X Factor and they are all friendly.  Sellout.

But he redeemed himself a bit this week in an Access Hollywood interview.  When asked about the addition of the newest American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi:

You know what, it’s like when you’ve had dinner with three friends for years and now someone else joins the table — it’s a bit odd.  That’s what it was like at the beginning. I genuinely couldn’t make up my mind whether I liked it or not. And then, when she was doing the Hollywood round she started to grow on me and I think she’s ballsy.

When asked if Kara and Paula were walking on eggshells around one another during Hollywood Week:

A little bit, but you know what it’s like… — when you work with other people you never want the people that you work with to do well.  You don’t.  It’s just not in your human nature to want that.

Regarding the success of the other American Idol judges:

If I read about their deals, I’m not exactly opening bottles of champagne in joy because something good is happening in their lives.  I’m not like that and trust me, they’re not doing the same for me.

On how Simon has made the world a more beautiful place:

She’s looking better and I really mean this — I think I have made her look better, and I’m not kidding here… Physically [she] definitely looks better since she’s been working with me.  I think she just got to terms with the way I like people to look and I think she changed her wardrobe, her hair, because she heard me saying, ‘I like this’ and ‘I like that,’ so I definitely had a positive affect on the way that she looks.

Then I realized during the Hollywood round, she’s actually quite funny.  I think she knows what she’s talking about, so she’s growing on me… She’s quite hot now actually. But I promise you, you’ll see the difference. She looks better now.

I love how he’s just like “Yeah, I don’t really want others to succeed.”  Isn’t he beyond arrogant?  Love him.  Still.

Here’s what I do:

When I’m dating some dude, and he’s all texting me like “Send me a picture of your pussy, baby,” I begin by sending him photos of my cats. Sometimes I dress up the cats to make them special for him; I put hats on them or scarves or necklaces or something. And I send it back with a little message like “My pussy is ready for you, hot stuff.”

And when he doesn’t find that funny, because he’s a total dirt-bag loser with no sense of humor because somehow that’s who I always end up dating, I send him the photos he’s looking for WITHOUT MY FACE IN THEM.

Why can no one else do this?

Sigh.

Someone’s shopping nude photos of Amanda Overmyer. Which, like, is cool and all, and I’m sure I’ll make a ton of money off them if they hit the web, but what I’m really looking for is the Brooke White nudes.

Star magazine reports that AmIdol’s first season rocker, Nikki McKibbin, was hospitalized in a psych ward in February after a suicide attempt. After limited musical success and the death of her mother in August, it sounds like things were just feeling impossible for Nikki.

Nikki called a friend and told her that she was feeling depressed and wanted to kill herself. The report states that Nikki said, “I want to live with my mom in heaven” and took migraine medication to “dull the pain.”

Tipped off by Nikki’s friend, police arrived to find the former Idol hopeful half-dressed with a number of white pills in her hand. After a violent confrontation — during which she reportedly tried to kick out the windows of the cop car — she was taken to the John Peter Smith Hospital and placed under psychiatric observation for the required 72 hours before being released.

Aw, sweetie, if it’s any consolation, I love love LOVED you on AmIdol. I voted for you every week. Yeah, it’s true, and I’m admitting it here, in a very public forum, just in case it’ll go any way toward making you feel better. I fucking voted for American Idol, and I voted for you, Nikki! I hope you feel better way soon.