Here’s what I do:

When I’m dating some dude, and he’s all texting me like “Send me a picture of your pussy, baby,” I begin by sending him photos of my cats. Sometimes I dress up the cats to make them special for him; I put hats on them or scarves or necklaces or something. And I send it back with a little message like “My pussy is ready for you, hot stuff.”

And when he doesn’t find that funny, because he’s a total dirt-bag loser with no sense of humor because somehow that’s who I always end up dating, I send him the photos he’s looking for WITHOUT MY FACE IN THEM.

Why can no one else do this?

Sigh.

Someone’s shopping nude photos of Amanda Overmyer. Which, like, is cool and all, and I’m sure I’ll make a ton of money off them if they hit the web, but what I’m really looking for is the Brooke White nudes.