Perez Hilton held his 31st birthday party yesterday at the Viper Room nightclub in West Hollywood. For someone who talks a lot of trash about celebrities, making juvenile comments about their love lives and appearances, a lot of them showed up at his party. This means that I can still hold out hope that Clive Owen will turn up at my 31st birthday party, no matter how big of a bitch I am on this blog.

Paris Hilton & boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, Amanda Bynes, Steve-O, and a very different looking Ashley Tisdale (holding hands with a lady friend) were in attendance, amongst others. The Jonas Brothers “rushed over” from the Kid’s Choice awards to sing Happy Birthday, and Christina Aguilera did her best Marilyn Monroe impression of a breathy “Happy Birthday Mr. Perez-ident.”

“I’m not thrilled with the number 31,” Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, said on the pink carpet in front of the Viper Room nightclub. “But I am super excited that, right now, I’m happier in my life than I ever have been before.”

Hilton bragged that the first gift he received was from “High School Musical” heartthrob Zac Efron.

“He sent me a bottle of champagne to my hotel room, which made me squeal like a little school girl,” he gushed.

Party attendee Paris Hilton seems to have contracted Victoria Beckham’s “Every Day I Look More and More Like a Robot” disease. Note the cut on boyfriend Reinhardt’s lip, a souvenir of Friday night’s scuffle with a bodyguard at Fontainebleau.

Oooh!

In an effort to remain relevant for 20 more seconds, total douchetard Doug Reinhardt is telling his side of the Amanda Bynes break-up story, claiming he ended the relationship.

“She wouldn’t even let me have a guys’ night out without flipping out on me,” Doug said to E!. “So it’s over.”

A source close to the douchetard said Doug told Amanda he was having “a night out with the boys” on Wednesday. Around 2 a.m., Amanda showed up unannounced at Doug’s house and banged on the door. Doug wasn’t home, and she freaked out, and now it’s over.

Whatever, either this guy is going to find a new starlet to cozy up to, or he’ll be crawling back to Amanda. This guy is Spencer Pratt v2.0, people, I’m telling you. He can’t stand to not be famous.

Something is very fishy here.

Just on Tuesday, Amanda Bynes and her boyfriend, loser Doug Reinhardt, were looking all lovey-dovey on the red carpet for a charity event in LA.

Then, today, Us Weekly reports that they’re over.

“She ended it. She had had enough,” a source close to the actress says. “Her friends didn’t trust him. Everyone thought he was using her for celebrity. He was not good, and she was over it. It was definitely her who ended it.”

So, either this “break-up” is a huge publicity stunt, or they had a gigantic fight on Tuesday night that led to her calling her publicist and saying “Tell the tabloids that it’s OVER.”

There’s a backstory here, and I wanna know what it is.

Amanda Bynes is looking AMAZING these days — too bad she’s wasting her extreme hotness on total famewhore douchebag Doug Reinhardt, with whom she seems to be getting increasingly serious. She took him to some charity basketball game in BevHills last night. I hope he donated a SHITLOAD of money.

Hot new Hollywood couple alert!

I’m rarely jealous of any Hollywood pairing, but whoever lands Seth MacFarlane is an object of my envy. The Family Guy creator, 34, was spotted joined at the hip with Amanda Bynes, 22, at the Fox summer press tour event in Santa Monica. E!’s Kristin Veitch seems unsure as to whether the duo is dating, but another blogger at the event had this to say:

Seth is normally accessible at these functions. But after only a couple of minutes — literally because I have the timer recording to prove it — Amanda was having none of it. She walked away from his side and started strolling the party without him. Seth smiled, apologized and announced his date was getting away from him. So he exited the interview quickly and went running after her.

Yes, Seth may have it going on with other aspects of his life. But with women? Well, he’s still working on that one.

Amanda’s done an episode of Family Guy, so that’s probably where they met. Cute couple? I guess so. I’d rather see him with Amanda than with Paris Hilton or some shit. But I’d still be happiest seeing him with me.

Here’s the starlet and her puppy, Charlie, at an event celebrating their cover of Animal Fair.

Charlie is an awesome name for a puppy!

Amanda Bynes attends the Palm Springs Film Festival. She’s there promoting Hairspray.

Amanda Bynes is an angel.

How dull.