It makes me feel really old that I feel like I have to explain to a younger generation who Alicia Silverstone is. Like, I swear, little kids, she used to be really, really relevant, and we all thought she was going to be a big movie star with staying power, like Meryl Streep or Demi Moore, and the she proceeded to piss it all away by making a mindblowingly large number of terrible movies all in a row. It’s actually possible that she hasn’t made a single good movie since Clueless. (I am not open to the possibility that Clueless was not a good movie. As if!)

Anyhoo, Alicia’s been a vegan, like, forever, and now she has a book about it. It’s called The Kind Diet, and it’s about subsisting on really, really good weed. No I’m kidding. That’s the book Jennifer Aniston’s working on. Alicia’s book is about eating vegan, which means no dairy or meat. It’s actually a very healthy way to eat and it is much kinder to animals and the environment. I ate a pure vegan diet for awhile, and it was the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. And then I stopped and now I have pre-diabetes and I basically have to eat meat even though it completely grosses me out when I have to do so. Even fish. But apparently I’m going to die of insulin shock if I don’t eat meat; at least that’s what the doctors say.

If you don’t feel like you can spend money on a book Alicia Silverstone wrote about anything, try picking up The China Study instead. It’s a purely scientific book (i.e. no animal rights angle) about the physical and environmental benefits of a vegan diet.

I have to admit, I like this FunnyOrDie vid Alanis Morissette and Alicia Silverstone did poking fun at indie flicks. But you know what’s going to be even funnier? The actual feature film Alanis is doing with Lindsay Lohan. I’m just saying.

Oh, sadness upon sadness.

Those jackasses over at Movieline had to ruin all my hopes and dreams by actually calling Alicia Silverstone’s publicist to ask if there was truth to the rumors about a Clueless sequel.

“I have heard nothing about this whatsoever,” said Silverstone’s publicist, Elizabeth Much. “I would certainly be very surprised if this rumor has any truth to it.”

But THEN they called Amy Heckerling’s rep — you’ll recall that Heckerling wrote the original Clueless and was rumored to be working with Alicia on the sequel — and she was a bit more mysterious: “Officially, no comment,” she said.

Hmmmm. Is this just Amy Heckerling trying to drum up some buzz for herself, or could there be an UNOFFICIAL draft in the works???

Alicia Silverstone mugged for some unfortunate close-ups at the Heart of Green Awards in NYC last night. And has she always had that huge mole on her forehead or is that recent?

I hope that one of the reporters working the red carpet thought to ask her about the Clueless sequel that’s rumored to be in the works.

Oh, nothing would make me happier than this! Despite the fact that it’s going to TOTALLY suck!

Thirteen years after her blockbuster movie Clueless debuted, Alicia Silverstone is finally reprising her role as ditzy Cher Horowitz in a sequel to the 1995 hit.

Alicia, 32, was recently spotted shopping along Ventura Boulevard in Tarzana, Calif., with her good friend, Clueless writer and director Amy Heckerling, 54. “They were talking about the script they’re working on and how exciting this is for them,” an eyewitness tells Star. Explains a source, “It’s been a dream of Alicia’s to bring Cher back to the big screen. Amy is writing it, but Alicia is giving her tons of ideas.”

I’ll admit it: I’m a product of Generation Clueless. I was in eighth grade when the movie came out, and we used it more as a Bible than as a work of fiction. We strived to be just like Cher and her friends — we dressed like them, we talked like them, we sang “Rollin’ with the Homies” to no end. I would LOVE to see what Cher Horowitz is up to now, at the age of 32. I NEED NEW GUIDANCE!!!

Listen up, people. I’ve been a vegan for an entire week and a half now. Anybody who’s known me for any length of time will tell you that, after I’ve done something for more than two or three days, I am the undisputed authority in that activity. Which is why I think it’s rather odd that Alicia Silverstone has decided to write a book on veganism when, clearly, if anyone should be writing such a book, it is I.

Rodale Inc. has just proudly announced plans to publish The Kind Diet, due out in fall 2009 by the actress and animal rights advocate. The book explores the connection between what we put in our bodies and what we’re doing to the planet, and how choosing the right foods in the kitchen can help you feeling lighter, sexier, and more alive. The book will include a 3-step diet program and 75 vegan and macrobiotic recipes.

Oh, silly Alicia. I am the one who has been trusted with the position of informing the masses about veganism. Don’t come trotting out here like you’re suddenly relevant and try to usurp my position. I’m not the one who thought Excess Baggage needed to be produced. That’s your baggage, sweetheart. Now run along and make another doomed pilot for FOX and leave the writing to the pros, mmkay?

We don’t see a lot of Alicia Silverstone these days — and we definitely don’t see a lot of her looking good — but our beloved Cher Horowitz was looking totes gorge at the opening of the Peter Alexander show on Robertson Wednesday night.

Dress, hair, makeup: all CUTE!

Let’s keep this up, Alicia!

Alicia Silverstone and her husband, rocker Christopher Jarecki, enjoy a romantic stroll in Malibu.

His tat?

Says “I would for you.”

I don’t get it.

I’m just saying.