Wow. Tuesday sucked. Like, hardcore sucked. You know, I’m not a super religious person, but I’m really big on God and faith, and, as some of you might have noticed, I’ve had a really fucking hard few months. Through it all, I had full trust in God. And things started to turn around when I got Charlie. I was much happier, I had a brighter outlook on life, and I was like, “Phew, I’ve lived through the worst of it.” And then this shit happens and it just rocks you to the core. Not just because I miss little Charlie — I miss him terribly, and feel sick about how much he suffered — but because it shakes this faith I’ve clung to so dearly these past few months. I feel like I’ve been scooped out from the inside.

So I cried a lot, and leaned on some amazing friends, and then I drove up I-5 for God knows how long, just blasting the music and thinking. Along the way, I got a text from my sister: “You have over 100 comments about Charlie on your site! People love you!” and it did mean a lot. So thanks, guys.

Anyway. I’m in Canyonville, Oregon right now, and heading up to Seattle tomorrow. Not sure why or how long I’ll stay, but I have friends there — including Spiteful Lars, my ever-faithful pinch-hitter — and look forward to spending time with them.

After I posted about Charlie’s death, I got a call from a reporter in Phoenix. Apparently the pet store where I bought him — Pets Landing in Scottsdale — is infamous for selling ill animals, and authorities are currently trying to shut them down. How these people can sleep at night is a mystery to me.

Anyway, what better way to come back than with this photo of the always fabulous Alexis Arquette, hanging out in Bev Hills on Tuesday night.